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Abstract

People’s retirement usually happens in their old age; therefore, the lack of communication skills (CS) and conflict between couples make the elderly face many challenges that can affect their marital relationships. The objectives of this research were to investigate the relationship between demographic and sexual variables with communication skills and the role of communication skills in predicting social and sexual factors in the retired elderly. This descriptive-analytical study was carried out on 156 couples referred to the urban health centers in Tabriz, Iran from January to Jul 2021. Inclusion criteria were retired men over 60 years old with a history of retirement of about >6 months and not working part-time or full-time elsewhere. Sexual characteristics including marital satisfaction, initiator of sexual behavior, arousal/Erection problem, verbal interaction, going, and going to bed together, were predictors of CS only among husbands (p < .05). But intercourse desire was a predictor of CS only in women so more desired women had 1.95 units more CS than women who were not desired (p < .05). This study found that despite the relationship between sexual characteristics and CS, the predictors of CS are different between wives and husbands. So CS training could be useful in enhancing the marital relationship of elderly couples. Policymakers can use this information to help retired couples through retirement planning and transitions.

Plain language summary

Gender differences in couples’ communication skills in old age

In recent decades, the world’s elderly population has increased significantly. Considering the importance of family in old age and determining the factors affecting health, especially the communication skills of couples in this age group, this study investigated the gender differences in couples’ communication skills in old age. 156 individuals completed questionnaires related to demographic information and communication skills. Results showed that couples more satisfied with their marriage have more communication skills (CS). Verbal interactions with a spouse, satisfaction with the spouse’s appearance, and sleep time coordination have a significant relationship with CS. In addition, CS was significantly higher in people who had more desire to have sexual intercourse, and both husband and wife were initiators of it. Among wives who had a high level of income, compared to those who had a low level, CS was high. Housing was a predictor of CS only among men, so husbands who owned housing were more CS than men who rented. Housewives whose husbands have recently retired reported positive aspects of their spouse’s retirement. Particularly mentioned were time available to do what you want, increased companionship, flexibility of schedule, and husband doing more household chores. Most respondents also reported negative aspects of their husbands’ retirement. Some important negative aspects were financial problems and too much togetherness.

Keywords

communication skills socio-sexual predictors retirement couple

Introduction

Longer life expectancy means more adults will experience retirement. About 50% of adults retire from the workforce by age 63, and this rate increases to 75% by age 70 (Curl & Townsend, 2014). Retirement, as an important marker, is possibly more than any other standard change in life to lead to the breaking of habits that may have sustained the individual for years (Hobbis et al., 2011). Retirement as a family transition is a process that occurs over time and affects other family members, in addition to the retired person (Olatomide, 2017). Studies have investigated the effects of retirement on the health of retired people and their family members (Belloni et al., 2016; Bonsang & van Soest, 2015). Bertoni found that a husband’s retirement affects women’s health symptoms by increasing stress, depression, and inability to sleep. On the one hand, a non-working woman may have to spend more time with a retired husband and stress from his demands. On the other hand, a working wife may have to add the stress of a retired husband to her job stress (Bertoni & Brunello, 2017). Furthermore, many studies have considered retirement as an opportunity that can reduce time constraints and increase socializing opportunities. Retirees take advantage of all the resources and opportunities offered by post-work life to lead a happy life. Husbands often perform a greater portion of household duties during the retirement stage. This makes his wife enjoy more free time (Olatomide, 2017; Zang, 2020).

People’s retirement usually happens in their old age; therefore, the connection between the two makes the elderly face many challenges that can affect their quality of life and marital relationships (Margelisch et al., 2017). The results of numerous studies regarding the factors affecting marital relationships point to the role of communication skills (Mojadam et al., 2015). Communication skills which, as the basis of other skills consist of the efficient transmission of information, including verbal communication, such as speech units and listening strategies, and nonverbal communication, such as gestures and expressions, eye contact, and body language (Mata et al., 2021; Ozkan et al., 2014; Suhaimi et al., 2014). According to Driver and Gottman (2004), communication skills encompass a range of verbal and non-verbal symbols that couples use in their daily interactions. The emphasis should be on developing emotional connection skills that involve sharing information, seeking support, and expressing intimate feelings among couples (Tam et al., 2011).

Communication skills and conflict management are essential in sustaining a healthy marriage. Research evidence revealed that communication skills and strategies in handling couples’ conflicts lead to improved quality of life (Jlili & Eftehkhar, 2020). There is a potential link between sexual functioning and marital communication, particularly in relation to the way couples communicate to resolve conflicts. This suggests that communication skills play an important role in maintaining a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship between couples. Improving communication skills can help couples manage conflicts effectively and enhance their overall marital satisfaction (Metz & Epstein, 2002). On this basis, inappropriate communication skills and conflict management adopted in dealing with marital conflicts almost lead to a decrease in marital satisfaction (Tam et al., 2011).

It is indeed true that studies have shown a strong relationship between couples’ communication and both marital satisfaction and sexual satisfaction. When communication skills are improved and conflict management strategies are implemented effectively, it can lead to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship for both partners.

Studies have shown that satisfaction with sexual aspects of the relationship, perception of spouse’s sexual satisfaction, and frequency of sexual intercourse have a positive relationship with marital satisfaction (Askari, 2011; Litzinger & Gordon, 2005; Moeini et al., 2016). So, effective sexual communication between partners is related not only to improving sexual function but also to improving overall satisfaction with the relationship (Montesi et al., 2011). Sexual function is dependent on the quality of a couple’s relationship, which is strongly dependent on communication (Lavner et al., 2016). Unsatisfied couples appear to travail from skills deficiency that barricades their ability to communicate effectively, and this deficiency can predict marital dissatisfaction and dissolution (Litzinger & Gordon, 2005). In other words, poor communication skills decrease the chance of solving conflicts, and that over time leads to decreased intimacy and sexual relationships (Rehman et al., 2011).

Research on marriage has identified a set of traits, called “Four Deadly Horsemen,” which indicate the lack of effective communication modification mechanisms and predict weak marital satisfaction (Bradford et al., 2020; Costa & Mosmann, 2020). Gottman and Levenson (2000) studied the relationships of many couples and found out that satisfaction with marital life depends on the couple’s response and how they communicate with each other.

The necessity of conducting this study can be expressed as follows Iran has the second most rapidly expanding aging population worldwide gauged by the expected percentage point increase in the populace over age 60 between 2015 and 2050 (Teerawichitchainan & Knodel, 2015). However, the Iranian healthcare system, like other developing countries, has primarily focused on the needs of children, pregnant women, and infectious diseases, with less attention given to the needs of older adults (Piroozi et al., 2024).

On the other, the retirement period is usually associated with the onset of old age, which is considered a change in life and has its problems and challenges. As long as the couple is working, they have the same lifestyle, and when they retire, their lifestyle changes, which leads to a change in their behavior. Adjusting to the conditions of retirement is painful for the elderly and causes psychological problems. Retirement not only means losing a job, but also means losing social interactions in the work environment. Many elderly people feel disempowered, depressed, isolated, and aimless after retirement, which can affect their communication skills. In the meantime, spouses being equipped with communication skills becomes a source of their compatibility and satisfaction, and the lack of knowledge about this basic skill leads to many misunderstandings, and conflicts between couples. One of these tensions is sexual issues (Mehri et al., 2020; Oniwon et al., 2022).

Given that, the prevalence of sexual problems is different from country to country concerning culture, race, and health variables. In other words, it is formed based on culture, social relations, values, norms, customs, laws, and natural environments. So, health planners should be aware of the cultural structure of their region and the prevalence and epidemiology of sexual disorders and problems, especially in old age (Mohammadian & Dolatshahi, 2019; Onuh & Okoro, 2022).

Also, the reason for the importance of men and considering their retirement in the present study was that the target group started working about 30 to 40 years ago. At that time in patriarchal social structures and cultural norms of Iran, the main role of women is to do housework, take care of marital responsibilities, and upbringing children. Society expects a woman to leave her job if her husband opposes her employment, despite all her interests and investments in this field. Women’s employment under the influence of social and cultural factors of the surrounding environment caused the dominant group of employees to be men who are retired today (Alaedini & Razavi, 2005; Monfared, 2012).

Considering the importance of family in old age and determining the factors affecting health and transitional periods such as retirement in this age group, there is a need for evidence-based data for policy changes, resource allocation, and the development of geriatric-specific healthcare services to ensure the well-being and quality of care for the growing aging population. So, the objectives of this research were to investigate the relationship between demographic and sexual variables with communication skills and the role of communication skills in predicting social and sexual factors in the retired elderly.

Method

Participants and Design

This descriptive-analytical study was carried out on 156 couples whose husbands were >60 and retired in referred to the urban health centers in Tabriz from January to Jul 2021. Inclusion criteria were retired men over 60 years old with a history of retirement of about >6 months and not working part-time or full-time elsewhere. Also, the existence of a history of nervous diseases and psychosis in each of the couples (based on the participants’ statements), and the unwillingness to continue cooperation by each of the couples were the exclusion criteria.

Sampling and Data Collection

Cluster sampling was used for sampling procedure. First, three health centers were randomly selected from each three economic zones (low, medium, and high). Within each of these economic zones, about 52 couple were selected randomly including 19 couple from each health center. Then the participants were recruited through simple random sampling method. After obtaining informed consent forms from all the participants, the data were collected using a written questionnaire in a self-report manner. Based on the results obtained by Nadimi (2015) and taking into account α = .05, and test power = 0.90 and using G*power-3.1.2, the sample size was estimated as 54, which was increased to 156 people given the design effect and a potential attrition bias of 30% in both group.

Measurements

Socio-Demographic Variables

Socio-demographic variables include age, weight, height, children number, regular physical activity, job duration, educational level, elapsed time since retirement, retirement age, occupational group, working in night shifts, duration of marriage, living with husband’s family, the history of boyfriend/girlfriend relationship before marriage.

Perceived Sexual Characteristics

Perceived sexual characteristics consist of the following items aimed at measuring the perception of couples on their sexual characteristic: marriage duration, satisfaction with marriage, boyfriend/girlfriend relationship before marriage, having verbal interaction with spouse, going to bed together (with spouse), intercourse frequency, physical appearance of your spouse, desire to have sex, engage in sexual activities unwillingly, initiator of sexual behavior, suffering from depression, having erection/arousal problem, having ejaculation/orgasm problem, suffering from sexual impotent.

Queendom Communication Skills Inventory

The communication skills of the couples were measured using the Persian version (Hosseinchari & Fadakar, 2006) of the Queendom communication skills inventory, developed by Queendom (Queendom 2004). Queendom’s communication skills inventory contains 34 items and 5 subscales including perceived messages, regulating emotions, active listening, insight into communication, and assertiveness. Some example of items is “I am able to solve problems without losing control of my emotions”; “I try to express my opinions clearly”; “It is easy for me to look at things from other people’s point of view.” All questions are Likert-type questions with 5 options. These questions have options varying from “always” to “never” and scores between 1 and 5. The range of scale scores is between 34 and 170. High total scores indicate high CS. In the current study, Cronbach’s Alpha value of the scale was estimated at .92.

Statistical Analysis

The research was carried out using SPSS 21 (SPSS Inc, Chicago, IL, USA). The data was displayed as frequency (Percentage) for nominal or ordinal data, and as mean (SD) for quantitative variables. The normal distribution of the variables was confirmed by the Kolmogorov-Smirnov test and assessments of skewness and kurtosis (–2 < skewness and kurtosis < 2). The significance level was p > .05, which showed that the data were normal. The one-way ANOVA, and independent sample test were used to compare the quantitative variables. The adjusted multivariate general linear model was employed to identify the predictors of communication skills, estimate adjusted regression coefficients, and their 95% CIs. A p-value of less than .05 was deemed significant.

Ethical Considerations

The Ethics Committee Review Board provided approval. The aims and process of the study were explained to the participants, and written informed consent was obtained.

Results

Results showed that among couples there were not considerable differences based on demographic features except on job duration and working at night which are specific for husbands in Iranian cultures. The longer the duration of the job, the higher the communication skills (CS) showed among husbands (p = .037). Additionally, husbands who did not working night shifts had more CS (p = .017; Table 1).

Table 1.

Couples’ Communication Skills Based on Social-Demographic Characteristic.

Variables		Mean (SD)	p-Value
Gender	Wife	54.71 (6.91)	.618*
Gender	Husband	55.12 (7.81)
Age	40–60	54.78 (7.42)	.133**
	60–70	55.36 (7.38)
	>70 years	52.48 (6.86)
Children number	No	52.02 (07.51)	.699**
	1–3	54.88 (07.55)
	>3	55.19 (06.80)
BMI	Normal	56.25 (06.85)	.376**
	Obesity	54.67 (08.02)
	Overweight	54.97 (07.59)
Regular physical activity	Yes	54.93 (07.44)	.968*
Regular physical activity	No	54.90 (07.34)
Job duration	10–20 years	51.23 (07.21)	.037**
	20–30 years	55.14 (07.70)
	>30 years	55.38 (06.28)
Educational level	Illiterate	52.75 (06.19)
	Primary	54.13 (06.78)	.137**
	High school	56.08 (08.37)
	University	55.27 (07.06)
Elapsed time since retirement	<10 years	54.94 (07.69)
	10–20 years	54.98 (07.07)	.902**
	>20 years	54.04 (04.60)	.902**
Retirement age	<50 years	55.74 (06.08)
	50–59 years	55.14 (06.98)	.239**
	>60 years	53.57 (09.10)	.239**
Occupational group	Employed	55.69 (07.08)
	Army	53.76 (09.10)	.120**
	Manual worker	53.09 (07.07)
	Farmer	53.33 (07.40)
Working in night shifts	Yes	53.39 (07.82)	.017*
Working in night shifts	No	55.56 (07.09)	.017*

t Test. **ANOVA.

However, most of the sexual characteristics have significant relationships with CS. Couples more satisfied with their marriage have more CS (p = .001). Interestingly, couples who had a relationship with a girlfriend or boyfriend before marriage significantly increased their CS (p = .015). Verbal interactions with a spouse (p = .001), satisfaction with the spouse’s appearance (p = .002), and sleep time coordination (p = .041) have a significant relationship with CS. In addition, CS was significantly higher in people who had more desire (p = .001) and less unwillingness to have sexual intercourse and both husband and wife were initiators of it (Table 2).

Table 2.

Couples’ Communication Skills Based on Sexual Characteristic.

Variables		Mean (SD)	p-Value
Marriage duration	<10 years	53.53 (07.46)	.560**
	10–20 years	52.67 (07.88)
	>20 years	55.02 (07.36)
Satisfaction with marriage	Yes	56.00 (06.94)	.001**
	To some extent	53.16 (07.54)
	No	49.26 (10.82)
Boyfriend/girlfriend relationship before marriage	Yes	56.00 (07.78)	.015*
Boyfriend/girlfriend relationship before marriage	No	53.98 (06.87)	.015*
Having verbal interaction with spouse	Yes	56.26 (07.17)	.001**
Having verbal interaction with spouse	No	51.30 (07.60)	.001**
Going to bed together (with spouse)	Yes	56.15(07.65)
	Some times	53.82 (06.97)	.041**
	No	54.52 (07.25)	.041**
Intercourse frequency	Never	54.96 (07.92)	.909**
	Once	55.24 (05.78)
	<3	55.16 (07.35)
	>3	54.47 (07.26)
Physical appearance of your spouse	Very much	57.35 (07.86)	.002**
	Much	55.00 (06.91)
	medium	53.16 (06.82)
	Low	52.61 (07.28)
	Very low	50.55 (11.59)
Desire to have sex	Yes	58.62 (07.84)	.001**
	Sometimes	53.74 (06.75)
	No	53.70 (06.68)
Engage in sexual activities unwillingly	Much	52.52 (06.34)	.043**
	To some extent	54.85 (07.71)
	Low	56.15 (07.28)
	Never	51.37 (06.00)
Initiator of sexual behavior	You	55.22 (06.76)	.005**
	Your spouse	53.74 (07.32)
	Both of you	57.30 (07.79)
Suffering from depression	Yes	54.58 (07.78)	.822*
Suffering from depression	No	54.91 (07.46)	.822*
Having erection/arousal problem	Yes	54.58 (06.60)	.842*
Having erection/arousal problem	No	54.90 (07.37)	.842*
Having ejaculation/orgasm problem	Yes	54.27 (07.09)	.594*
Having ejaculation/orgasm problem	No	54.96 (07.44)	.594*
Suffering from sexual impotent	Yes	55.59 (09.11)	.632*
Suffering from sexual impotent	No	58.83 (07.36)	.632*

t Test. **ANOVA.

Based on Table 3, the mean of CS and conflict management (CM) were not significantly different for husband and wife (p = .618). Among the domains, the lowest domain of CS & CM in both husband and wife and the couple was related to assertiveness and collaborating Style, and the highest is for the domain of active listening and competing style respectively. Among domains of CS only perceived messages (p = .006) and regulating emotion (p = .046) were significantly different between husbands and wives. So, husbands had more skill in perceiving messages than wives, and wives more regulating emotion than husbands (Table 3).

Table 3.

Domains of Couples’ Communication Skills & Conflict Management Based on Gender.

Communication skills	Mean (SD)			p-Value*
Communication skills	Couple	Wife	Husband	p-Value*
Perceived messages	55.78 (10.69)	54.13 (0.39)	57.43 (10.76)	.006
Regulating emotions	54.86 (09.81)	55.95 (09.17)	53.76 (14.10)	.046
Active listening	62.73 (12.98)	61.98 (11.76)	63.47 (21.31)	.313
Insight into communication	56.12 (12.37)	56.20 (12.17)	56.04 (12.61)	.910
Assertiveness	42.86 (14.63)	43.25 (13.62)	42.46 (15.60)	.632
Total score	54.91 (07.36)	54.70 (06.91)	55.12 (07.81)	.618
Conflict management
Collaborating style	27.45 (4.47)	27.11 (4.64)	27.79 (4.28)	.175
Competing style	68.07 (18.12)	69.88 (17.13)	66.27 (18.94)	.076
Accommodating style	41.32 (23.03)	41.64 (23.16)	41.01 (22.96)	.807
Avoiding style	66.59 (17.67)	65.03 (17.91)	68.15(17.34)	.116
Compromising style	65.50 (18.73)	66.21 (18.75)	64.79 (18.75)	.500
Total score	63.78(10.52)	63.75 (10.42)	63.81 (10.65)	.909

t test.

As a result, Table 4 shows the predictors of CS in wives and husbands. Among the demographic variables, family income and housing were reported as two important predictors of CS. Among wives who had a high level of income, compared to those who had a low level, CS was high. The housing was a predictor of CS only among men (p = .008) so husbands who owned housing were more CS than men who rented. Sexual characteristics including marital satisfaction, initiator of sexual behavior, arousal/Erection problem, verbal interaction, going, and going to bed together, were predictors of CS only among husbands. But intercourse desire was a predictor of CS only in women so more desired women had 1.95 units more CS than women who were not desired. In men, unlike women, the way of starting sexual activity was predictive, so when sexual demand was suggested by the wife, it was more CS than when it was suggested by the husband. However, sleep time coordination was a predictor of CS in husbands, so that in wives and husbands who went to bed together compared to those who did not go to bed together, the CS was significantly 2.42 units more. In the case of arousal/erection problems, husbands who had sexual impotence or erection problems, CS was much less (10.03 units) than those who did not have problems. In the husband, verbal interaction was a predictor of CS. Husbands who had verbal interaction compared to those who had not were 2.92 units more CS significantly (Table 4).

Table 4.

Predictors of Communication Skills Based on Gender Differences.

Variables		Wife			Husband
		B	95% Cl	p Value	B	95% Cl	p Value
		B	[Lower, upper]		B	[Lower, upper]
Income	Low	−2.480	[−5.269, .309]	.059	−1.135	[−3.861, 1.591]	.412
Income	High	Ref			Ref
Housing	No	−0.174	[−6.558, 6.211]	.957	−8.617	[−14.953, −2.281]	.008
Housing	Yes	Ref			Ref
Marital satisfaction	high	0.93	[−1.536, 3.404]	.456	3.62	[1.092, 6.150]	.005
Marital satisfaction	Low	Ref			Ref
Intercourse desire	Yes	1.95	[−0.324, 4.226]	.059	0.702	[−1.892, 3.297]	.593
Intercourse desire	No	Ref			Ref
Initiator of sexual behavior	Wife	1.377	[−1.245, 3.999]	.30	2.952	[−0.386, 6.290]	.059
Initiator of sexual behavior	Husband	Ref			Ref
Arousal/Erection problem	Yes	−3.105	[−8.359, 2.149]	.245	−10.03	[−15.780, −4.286]	.001
Arousal/Erection problem	No	Ref			Ref
Verbal interaction	Yes	−0.070	[−2.538, 2.397]	.955	2.92	[0.490, 5.355]	.019
Verbal interaction	No	Ref			Ref
Going to bed together	Yes	1.178	[−0.705, 3.958]	0.170	2.424	[0.004, 4.844]	.050
Going to bed together	No	Ref			Ref

Note. B = coefficient; Ref = reference.

Discussion

The objectives of this research were to investigate the relationship between demographic and sexual variables with communication skills and the role of communication skills in predicting social and sexual factors in the retired elderly. The results showed that there is a relationship between communication skills and sexual life and marital satisfaction of the elderly so communication skills significantly predict the quality of sexual life and marital satisfaction.

No significant relationship was observed between the average score of communication skills and gender, which was not in line with Mojadam’s study (Mojadam et al., 2015).

A man’s retirement can affect his wife’s mental and physical health. Depending on the effect of retirement on a man’s health, his wife’s health can be positively or negatively affected. On the one hand, retirees have more leisure time, which may be beneficial for their health. On the other hand, retirement can be stressful (Zang, 2020). According to Townsend’s study, the effects of retirement on the health of the spouse varied depending on the gender. When wives retired, their husbands’ self-ratings of health showed short-term improvement, whereas when husbands retired, their wives’ self-ratings of health improved in the long term (Curl & Townsend, 2014).

In other studies, husband’s retirement is associated with increased stress, depression, inability to sleep, as well as a decrease the wife’s mental and physical health. The husband’s retirement negatively affects the wife’s health by reducing household wealth, decreased financial and economic security. This phenomenon is often referred to as the retired husband syndrome (Bertoni & Brunello, 2017; Mendolia, 2014). Also, existing studies find that a husband’s retirement is associated with an increased amount of his household labor and a decreased amount in his wife’s domestic duties, increasing the wife’s frequency of exercising, social interactions, and plaza dancing (Leopold & Skopek, 2015; Zang, 2020). In fact, doing housework makes the wife have more free time to enjoy, which subsequently benefits her health. Versus, Stancanelli’s findings was that husband’s retirement had no effect on partners’ joint leisure (Stancanelli & Van Soest, 2016).

In the present study, both genders obtained the highest score in conflict resolution skills. However, there was no significant difference between husband and wife between conflict resolution styles. In Dildar’s study, there were different types of marital conflicts faced by married couples that is, aggressive husband, lack of cooperation, lack of spending time together, in-laws issues, children issues, decrease in effective communication and financial problems, that both spouses actively used the avoidance style to resolve conflict, including denying, or ignoring the spouse. However, the competitive style was mostly used by husbands. Sometimes men consciously or unconsciously use threats, because they think that they are always right (Dildar et al., 2013). Studies showed that couples in which one or both partners had a hostile style experienced lower levels of relationship quality (Mohsenzadeh et al., 2014). In contrast to the present study, Abdullah’s study showed, that women were responsible for conflict management (Abdullah et al., 2017). However, in married lives, spouses often simultaneously use a complex combination of different types of conflict resolution strategies. These strategies are strongly related to each other, which ultimately shape the fate of marital relationships (X. Li et al., 2019).

It is evident from the results of this study that a possible explanation for the high levels of CS may be that both spouses used the same conflict management style. In cases where one of the spouses compromised or avoided conflict, there was a fair chance the other did too. It seems that better communication skills are strongly related to better conflict management strategies among couples. It can be said the higher the level of communication skills, the better the mental well-being of couples (Tam et al., 2011). On the other hand, poor communication skills decrease the chance of solving conflicts that during time lead to decreased intimacy and sexual relationship (Rehman et al., 2011).

Consistent with the current study, in Gilasi’s study, the variables of education level, income, home ownership, and marriage duration had a statistically significant relationship with marital satisfaction, as well as, income and home ownership were predictors of marital satisfaction (Gilasi et al., 2019). In Rajabi et al.’s study, the findings showed that the highest average quality of life score for the elderly was related to those who were at a higher level in terms of income (Rajabi et al., 2017). Panaghi reported that the economic level had a positive relationship with the quality of life of the elderly in Tehran (Panaghi et al., 2010). Relationship satisfaction was negatively correlated to financial conflict in Dew’s study for wives (b = −0.24, p < .001) and husbands (b = −0.29, p < .001). Economic strain was a powerful predictor of communication for husbands (Dew & Stewart, 2012).

In expressing this finding, it can be said that income level, the most important determinant of socio-economic status, is an important determinant of life satisfaction in elderly couples. Husband as the main breadwinner, his retirement often causes financial insecurity and economic crisis. In fact, the loss of a regular source of income can negatively affect household wealth. This decrease in household income can negatively affect the mental health of couples. As a result, the quality and satisfaction of life decreases (Bertoni & Brunello, 2017; Mendolia, 2014; Zang, 2020). Another reason for this concern can be that the elderly spend a large amount of their income on medicine and health services (Didino et al., 2016). Because economic condition and relationship status are two key determinants of life satisfaction, understanding their interactions can improve overall predictions of life satisfaction (Lee et al., 2020). Based on this, it can be suggested to use economic and financial status as a predictor of CS in future studies.

The present study showed the same as Holman’s study that the quality of couple communication is one of the best predictors of marital satisfaction (Holman, 2001). The findings of a systematic study showed that possessing and implementing effective and positive interactions and communication skills play an integral role in married couples’ levels of marital satisfaction (Du Plooy & De Beer, 2018). In Harris’s study, husbands with higher communication skills showed higher marital satisfaction than their wives (Haris & Kumar, 2018). However, McCoy et al. (2017) found that wives’ communication skills predicted their own greater marital satisfaction. Other research results in line with the present study showed that effective and intimate communication with one’s life partner and adaptation to sexual life in the elderly causes enjoyment of sexual desires and as a result improves sexual satisfaction and marital satisfaction (Von Humboldt et al., 2021). The findings of Moeini’s study demonstrated that communication and sexual satisfaction independently predict marital satisfaction (Moeini et al., 2016). Effective communication skills provide useful predictors of marital relationship satisfaction. Effective communication will demonstrate the success or failure of the couple’s marriage because communication is the creation, exchange, and interpretation of meaningful messages either be verbal or non-verbal (Arumugam et al., 2021).

The results of Takbeiri’s study showed that marital satisfaction in the elderly who had higher sexual satisfaction was significantly higher than the elderly who had low sexual satisfaction. Those who were more able to talk freely about sexual issues showed more satisfaction with their married life (Takbiri et al., 2017). Litzinger found there is a significant interaction between communication and sexual satisfaction (Litzinger & Gordon, 2005). In line with the present study, several studies have shown that men initiate sexual behaviors more than women (Dworkin & O’Sullivan, 2005; Gossmann et al., 2003; Simms & Byers, 2013). The results of Fischtein’s study state that men talk about sex more than women, care more about sexual behaviors, and have more sexual thoughts and desires to have sex (Fischtein et al., 2007).

In the analysis of sexual initiation behaviors and the predictors of these behaviors is the influence of gender-inconsistent socio-sexual norms. The traditional sexual script (TSS) is the gender-based, normative sequence that commonly occurs during sexual interactions. As a cultural level script, TSS highlights the types of sexual relationships and sexual behaviors that are culturally permissible for men and women. In other words, heterosexual men and women are placed in complementary yet opposite roles. Based on this, men are often expected to take a dominant role and women a submissive one. Accepting the role of being passive in the woman has caused her not to feel responsible in initiating sexual activity because she can be relatively sure that her husband will initiate. Another possibility is that women may be reluctant to deviate from the norms designated by traditional gender scripts and they may feel more comfortable when the man is the initiator. Therefore, men and women may differ in their perceptions of attitudes, social norms, intentions, and behaviors associated with sexual initiation. This suggests that men likely have stronger intentions and a more positive attitude to initiate sexual activities (Byers, 2013; Courtice & Shaughnessy, 2018; Marcantonio et al., 2018; Muise, 2017; Sakaluk et al., 2014; Shen & Liu, 2021; Simms & Byers, 2013).

Among the TSS in Iran, the following examples can be mentioned, where sex outside of marriage, masturbation, and multiple sexual relations are considered sins according to Islamic laws. Oral and anal sexual behaviors are considered unnatural, immoral, and taboo. Virginity is often an important asset for women, as it is a prerequisite for a girl’s marriage (Abdolmanafi et al., 2018; Khayer et al., 2024; Masoudi et al., 2022). Also, many women refrain from speaking and expressing sexual desires due to the fear of being judged by others. On the contrary, men have been defined as having a bold, powerful, initiating, and dominant role in sexual relations (NasrollahiMola et al., 2023). Actually, in Iran, due to the traditional and very religious culture, traditional sexual scripts are formed based on cultural taboos, restrictions, religious-national traditions, indirect laws, and specific mystical views (Ghorashi et al., 2016; Tabatabaie, 2015).

In the present study, wives more regulating emotions than husbands. This finding can be explained by the assumption that women are more “field dependent” than men. In other words, they are more sensitive to social cues, more emotionally open, and their judgments are more based on environmental characteristics. In other words, women react more to aspects related to relationships in a given situation. They are more sensitive to the interpersonal meanings of messages than men. That is, social expectations often make women responsible for regulating intimacy and feelings (Peleg-Koriat et al., 2018; Witkin & Goodenough, 1977).

However verbal interaction was a predictor of CS only among husbands. Men naturally view communication as a means to maintain an advantage during interactions and avoid being put down. In other words, communication in the world of men is characterized by power and independence. They will reinforce a hierarchical communication pattern that drives independence rather than intimacy (Daniell, 2021). One of the reasons that verbal interaction in men was a predictor of CS was their reduced communication with others due to retirement.

In this study, ED was a predictor of CS among husbands. In Fisher’s study, the effects of ED on partners were significantly similar to the effects on the men. 87.6% of men and 82.8% of their sexual partners appraised the impact of ED as important to maintaining a good relationship (Fisher et al., 2005). Women often have difficulty communicating with their partners who have erectile dysfunction (Hinchliff et al., 2010). In another study, the lack of communication in the relationship, the failure of the partner’s role, and sexual dissatisfaction due to the ED of the spouses were considered as aggravating factors in the psychological symptoms of menopause (Chedraui et al., 2010).

In addition to the physical dimension, the impact of ED on communication skills can also be interpreted in terms of a negative psychological aspect on the couples. The man withdraws emotionally and physically because of fear of failure in sex. Changes in a man’s sexual behavior could confuse and create negative thoughts in their partner. Women might believe that their husbands are losing interest in them or their men are strong with other people, leaving them with suspicion of treason. Also, these anxious thoughts usually affect their self-esteem and sense of attractiveness. As a result, these negative thoughts can unconsciously affect their sexual relations and general communication with their spouses (H. Li et al., 2016; DiMeo, 2006). Another argument can be made from men’s point of view that men with DE often have a sense of embarrassment and shame at not being able to satisfy their partner and this feeling of copper can have a negative effect on communicating and talking with their partner (Abdo, 2016). Over time, from this cascade of events, the husband and wife begin to become estranged emotionally, communicatively, and physically. Therefore, ED not only harms men’s health but also damages harmonious relationships between couples. A better understanding of these adverse psychosocial and communication effects will aid the clinical management of ED.

Unlike the present study, in other studies, men were more obliqued to have sex (Heyman et al., 2009; Warner & Lyons, 2020). In a study of women, showed that although sexual desire and activity decreased in older adults compared to younger adults, interest in sexual relations was moderate or high in a quarter of women who were 65 years old and older, and more than a third of women in this age group reported being sexually active in the past 3 months (Huang et al., 2009). In another study, there was no difference between men and women in the desire for sexual activity and the verbal and non-verbal behavior (O’Sullivan & Byers, 1992).

In explaining the findings of the current research, it can be said that retirement should be studied as a joint process that affects the couple, and not considering cross-partner effects may underestimate the negative consequences of retirement on mental well-being. Also, communication skills are the ability to perform positive and adaptive behaviors that prepare the elderly to effectively deal with daily demands and challenges. They are a set of psychological and interpersonal skills that help the elderly make informed decisions, solve problems, communicate effectively, create healthy relationships, manage and cope with their lives healthily and productively, and lead to the improvement of their psychological and social abilities.

Limitation

The study has certain limitations, including the use of self-report survey data, which may be subject to response bias. Since the data are correlational and cross-sectional, no direction or causation can be inferred from the results. Additionally, the sample used in the study was relatively healthy, middle-class, and limited to one area in Iran, namely Tabriz, which may limit the generalizability of the findings to other populations with different characteristics. Therefore, the present study’s findings may not represent the entire nation’s population. Future research could address these limitations by conducting more in-depth and longitudinal analyses of the relationships among communication, sexual satisfaction, and marital satisfaction in the elderly. Additionally, research could be conducted on more diverse populations, including those with lower socioeconomic status, and within multicultural settings. The use of multiple methods, including physiological measures, observational measures, and qualitative measures such as diary methods, could also significantly contribute to understanding how retirement affects communication skills and marital satisfaction.

Conclusion

As per the study, there is a strong relationship between communication skills and conflict resolution strategies, as well as the mental well-being of elderly couples after their husbands’ retirement. The study also found that despite the relationship between sexual characteristics and communication skills, the predictors of communication skills are different between wives and husbands. Policymakers and planners can use this information to help retired couples through retirement planning and transitions. However, more research is needed to better understand the relationship between communication, sexual satisfaction, and marital satisfaction in the elderly and retired. Results suggest that models of retirement in couples should pay greater attention to gender and other social stratification factors, spousal interdependence, and length of time since retirement.

Footnotes

Acknowledgements

We would like to sincerely thank all the participants for their active participation and contribution to this research study.

ORCID iDs

Somayeh Azimi

Zeinab Javadivala

Hamid Allahverdipour

Ethical Considerations

The ethics committee at Tabriz University of Medical Sciences (Ethics Code: IR.TBZMED.VCR.REC.1400.035) approved this protocol.

Consent to Participate

Informed written consent was obtained from all the participants before filling out the questionnaire. Those not willing to participate were given the right to do so. Confidentiality of responses was also ensured throughout the research process.

Author Contributions

All authors read and approved the final manuscript. ZJV, MI, HA, SA, and NG designed the study. Data were analyzed by ZJV, MI, NG. SA and ZJV wrote the manuscript.

Funding

The author(s) received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Declaration of Conflicting Interests

The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Data Availability Statement

Data sharing not applicable to this article as no datasets were generated or analyzed during the current study.

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Communication Skills and Their Socio-Sexual Predictors After Husbands’ Retirement: Gender Differences

Abstract

Plain language summary

Keywords

Introduction

Method

Participants and Design

Sampling and Data Collection

Measurements

Socio-Demographic Variables

Perceived Sexual Characteristics

Queendom Communication Skills Inventory

Statistical Analysis

Ethical Considerations

Results

Discussion

Limitation

Conclusion

Footnotes

Acknowledgements

ORCID iDs

Ethical Considerations

Consent to Participate

Author Contributions

Funding

Declaration of Conflicting Interests

Data Availability Statement

References