This article analyses and discusses the emotivist goal of capturing the subjective self as well as the poststructuralist quest to grasp the social self produced by discourses. It argues that both of these positions are predicated on the classical notion of a ‘subject’ that ‘knows’ the subjective self and its desires and/or its social ramifications. The downside of this understanding of the self is illustrated by the way in which the experience, research and treatment of eating disorders are all driven by a similar elusive, gendered ideal of a subject who knows itself and the world and how they both work. This article argues for a more ambivalent or ‘agonistically dialogic’ way of approaching the self that acknowledges that the subjective is always confounded by the social, and that the social can only be grasped from a subjective point of view. This mode of studying the self paves the way for a less judgemental and more conversational way of relating to our selves, others and the social world, leading to a more dialogic (inter)personal and political life.
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