Navigating pre-Tenure and COVID-19: A Testimonio of a BIPOC Junior Faculty Mother

Abstract

The challenges BIPOC junior faculty face when preparing for tenure is not a new phenomenon, however doing so during a global pandemic magnifies these issues and requires us to consider the significant impact this has on earning tenure and promotion. Extent literature on pre-tenure BIPOC women faculty highlight their experiences of isolation and added pressures to perform. Women faculty with children encounter additional challenges as they may feel isolated, guilty about their productivity, and added pressure to prove themselves in the academy. Considering these factors influencing tenure, this testimonio provides a brief account of my experiences as a pre-tenure BIPOC junior faculty during the COVID-19 pandemic. I discuss the time constraints and expectations to maintain productivity, while managing my new full-time role as primary caregiver to my daughter. It concludes with implications for supporting pre-tenure BIPOC junior women faculty during COVID-19 as they prepare for tenure.

The challenges Black, Indigenous, People of Color (BIPOC) pre-tenure faculty in academia encounter is not a new phenomenon. BIPOC faculty experience microaggressions, tokenism, invisibility and hyper-visibility, and find the environment competitive, isolating, and lacking a sense of community (Cooke, 2014; Ponjuan et al., 2011). BIPOC women faculty are less likely than men to be appreciated and supported from colleagues, more likely to experience negative behavior from colleagues or administrators, and face demoralizing behavior during the tenure process (Ponjuan et al., 2011). Turner (2002) found women faculty of color feel isolated and the added pressure to perform as they are expected to handle gender and racial inequities, and are often torn between career and home. BIPOC women faculty face “unequal standards of having to work harder and prove themselves more” (Corley, 2020, p. 1). These experiences with covert racism contribute to feelings of helplessness and being an “imposter in higher education” (Woldai, 2021, p. 1). Thus, BIPOC women faculty are “assumed incompetent, until they prove they are competent” (Mitchell & Miller, 2011, p. 198). Further, BIPOC women faculty with children experience additional challenges as they often feel isolated, guilty about their productivity, and added pressure to prove themselves in the academy (Armenti, 2004; Fothergill, & Feltey, 2003; Marquez, 2011).

Disruptions in productivity due to the COVID-19 pandemic have overwhelmingly affected women researchers. Women scientists, those in the ‘bench sciences’ and, particularly scientists with young children, experienced a substantial decline in time devoted to research (Myers et al., 2020). Research shows a larger reduction in paper submissions where women were the first authors compared to those where they were the last authors (Oleschuk, 2020). The proportion of COVID-19 papers with a woman first author was 19% lower than that for papers published in the same journals in 2019 contributing to lower research productivity for early-career women (Andersen et al., 2020). Evidence from research initiation reports, preprint servers, and journal submissions point to clear gendered differences. These differences are expected to become more pronounced over time and impact academic women's career advancement in years to come (Myers et al., 2020). The COVID-19 global pandemic further magnifies the issues pre-tenure BIPOC women faculty experience, who are also mothers, as they are the most penalized in the academic setting and systemic barriers around family and household are particularly exacerbated during COVID-19 (Kramer, 2020). This trend suggests that the pandemic may disproportionately affect women in the early stages of their careers since men typically perform less domestic labor compared to women, and men usually have a partner that help with domestic labor, providing an advantage to them (Oleschuk, 2020). However, these trends are based on the experiences of cisgender women and heterosexual relationships. Therefore, more research is needed to understand the impact of COVID-19 on various family structures.

Considering these factors, this testimonio provides a brief reflection on my experiences as a pre-tenure Chicana junior faculty during the COVID-19 pandemic. Testimonio or personal narratives developed from Latin American human rights struggles and gives voice to injustice and resiliency (Pérez Huber & Villanueva, 2019). One of the most notable testimonios is that of Rigoberta Menchú, an indigenous human rights activist from Guatemala, who wrote about her experiences during the civil war (Menchú & Burgos-Debray, 2009). Menchú and Burgos-Debray (2009, p. 1) states, “my story is the story of all poor Guatemalans. My personal experience is the reality of a whole people.” Essentially, Testimonios center the voices of marginalized individuals and allows them to explore and share their perspectives in order to transform and empower people of color (Latina Feminist Group, 2001; Pérez Huber, 2009).

My testimonio aligns with the extent literature on the challenges BIPOC pre-tenure women faculty face, who are also mothers. Like Anzaldúa (2012), who wrote from her own lived experiences to help her construct her own view of the world, I write from my own lived experiences to provide a glimpse into the challenges I have endured during the COVID-19 pandemic. Adjusting to this “new normal,” I offer implications for supporting pre-tenure BIPOC women faculty as we prepare for tenure while navigating multiple roles in the pandemic, scholar, researcher, instructor, partner and mother.

Testimonio

I just finished teaching my online 7.5-week semester course when the news broke that major cities were shutting down in response to the COVID-19 pandemic. I have to admit I wasn't following it too closely since I was consumed with my teaching and writing at the time. It wasn't until our courses were moved to remote learning and conferences and graduation ceremonies were postponed or canceled, that I began to realize the gravity of the situation. I was fortunate that my course had just wrapped up for the semester and I did not have to pivot to remote teaching. However, I witnessed my colleagues’ anxiety and stress as they shifted to this new modality, with little time to prepare. While my teaching responsibilities ended for the semester, my writing and research projects were ongoing. This was supposed to be the year I finished final manuscripts to submit for publication before my tenure and promotion review, a year from now. I was immediately aware of the impact this would have on my productivity as I struggled to balance my professional and personal life during this major pandemic.

At the same time, my roles as a mother and partner would be tested as well. My daughter's school closed, and like many other students, she was forced to finish the school year online. Unfortunately, her school did not have the resources to provide synchronous remote learning and only provided worksheets and some class assignments on Google Classroom to work on independently. My partner is an essential worker and since my schedule is more flexible, I took on this new role of primary caretaker and fifth grade teacher. While we were fortunate my partner retained his employment, it was very stressful to try to meet the needs of my daughter, while also trying to balance my workload expectations as an assistant professor. My partner is and has been an essential worker in the service industry since we met over twenty years ago. He does not have the privilege of working remotely and engages with the public daily. Latinx workers are overrepresented in the lowest-paying essential industries (Perez & Caceres, 2020) and as a result have been disproportionately impacted by COVID-19 (Rodriguez-Diaz et al., 2020). In addition to the daily stress of parenting during a pandemic and my expectations as a pre-tenure faculty member, we both worried about his exposure to COVID-19 on a daily basis and the possibility of contracting it and passing it on to my daughter and myself. Like many new faculty members, we moved to a different state for my position away from our family and support system. I often thought about what would happen if we became ill and could not provide for our daughter. Who would we call for help, who is our “family” here that could step in if we needed support.

The stress of worrying about my partner as an essential worker, taking on the role of full-time teacher for my daughter and still maintaining my productivity was overwhelming. Many thoughts went through my mind daily and I experienced multiple emotions. I wondered if I was failing my child and not providing adequate educational support, and at the same time was I producing enough scholarship to make sure I was in a position to secure tenure. I often felt lonely, isolated, anxious, scared and angry. The weight of all of these questions and emotions was difficult, but the hardest part was the unknown. How long would this pandemic last, how long would I have to endure this, and how long could I remain positive for the benefit of my daughter and my own sanity. After talking to several colleagues, I found these were shared experiences. While I had no answers to these questions, I turned to the one thing that has always helped me when I have faced challenges, writing. The power of writing to process emotions and make some sense of my experiences would help manage these emotions and keep me on track for tenure.

Several months have passed since the COVID-19 pandemic began and I’ve been forced to adjust to this “new normal.” I have always been aware of the inequities of caretaking responsibilities between men and women, particularly for those of us in heterosexual relationships, however adding a pandemic to this inequity compounds this issue even further. As Kramer (2020) states, “the issues that women in academia are now facing are not new. Instead, they are more severe versions of longstanding gender gaps that already cause universities to hemorrhage female faculty, particularly women of color.” (p. 1). While adding a pandemic to my pre-tenure path has been the greatest challenge I’ve endured, I also recognize the privileges I have been afforded as an assistant professor. My family and I have access to quality healthcare, my partner and I have retained our employment and I have the flexibility and added layer of protection against COVID-19, since I am able to work from home. Moreover, I have the skillset and resources to support my child emotionally and academically. I have spent time reflecting on my experiences during the pandemic and I felt it was important to document them, while also sharing my implications for supporting pre-tenure BIPOC women faculty.

Personal Reflections

The expectations that are placed on faculty to create a sense of “normalcy” for students, is unrealistic. Just as students are struggling to manage during the pandemic, faculty are as well. Further, it is important to acknowledge the inequities BIPOC women faculty experience, specifically during a global pandemic, and how their path to tenure is affected by these inequities. Offering an extended year to our tenure clock is a good idea in theory, however it does not account for these inequities and does not decrease the publication, teaching and service expectations. For example, we are still required to produce the same amount of publications, maintain the same teaching load, and provide advising and mentoring to students, which is often sought out more from BIPOC women faculty. Another significant consequence of delaying tenure for a year, is the income increase many of us depend on will never be replaced. As the primary provider for my family, this engenders a substantial impact.

If we are serious about closing the gender pay gap and implementing an anti-racist approach in our higher education institutions, we must begin by changing the tenure and promotion requirements that perpetuate inequities among BIPOC women faculty. Jones and Williams (2020) argue we must begin with a larger discussion of systemic racism and radical restructuring of U.S. higher education. To this end, I offer the following implications and recommendations for supporting BIPOC junior women faculty during the COVID-19 pandemic as they prepare for tenure.

Implications for Supporting Pre-Tenure BIPOC Junior Women Faculty During COVID-19

Arguments for considering teaching and service beyond research for tenure are not new (Turner, 2002); however, during a devastating pandemic this needs to be appropriately addressed and considered. It is important to note there are many different types of academic settings where teaching and service affect tenure and promotion decisions, however for research intensive institutions that place more weight on scholarship, teaching and service should be weighed more heavily than it traditionally is. Faculty have taken on extra work to adjust teaching modalities and more students are relying on us for academic and emotional support, particularly our BIPOC students who have been disproportionately impacted by the pandemic. I have spent numerous hours attending trainings on remote teaching, and learning new technology to implement in my courses. Learning these new modalities was a large learning curve and left less time for my research and writing. In addition, this has been the most trying time for my students, since I have been an instructor. The stress that impacted my students’ efforts and quality of work was evident as many turned in subpar assignments, and struggled to attend class weekly. Students and peer teaching evaluations during the pandemic, which are required at this time for tenure and promotion, should not be included in our tenure requirements. Research demonstrates these reviews do not provide a realistic measure of our teaching capacity, particularly for BIPOC women faculty (Anderson & Smith, 2005; Huston, 2005) and evaluations during the pandemic may only reflect how instructors respond during a crisis and not how effective their teaching is.

Providing course releases for BIPOC junior women faculty as they prepare to submit for tenure would be extremely beneficial. While the pandemic has impacted faculty at all levels, the impact on pre-tenure junior faculty has different consequences. Pre-tenure faculty need to be engaged in ongoing research, maintain productivity in their scholarship and provide school service to ensure their indefinite academic appointments. This has been challenging for me, as my research is community-based and requires engagement with the Latinx community, which has been severely impacted by COVID-19 (Rodriguez-Diaz et al., 2020). My research is on pause while we focus on helping BIPOC communities meet their basic needs. This may also be the case for BIPOC women faculty who are more likely to be engaged in community-based research. While our research is on hold, there is still an expectation to present at national conferences which is a critical part of our tenure process. Conferences provide an opportunity to network with senior scholars in our field that may be asked to review our tenure files. Finally, our service to the school and students is ongoing. I continue to serve on several school committees, advise our Latinx student group, write letters of recommendation, review student applications for scholarships and fellowships, and serve on several doctoral committees. Research shows that BIPOC women faculty provide more school service and support to students than their white men colleagues (Social Sciences Feminist Network Research Interest Group, 2017). This service continues and is heightened by the pandemic.

As I prepare to submit my tenure dossier, I am most thankful that my family and I are healthy and we are managing as best we can during this pandemic. At the same time, these inequities are ever present in my mind, yet I will put them aside as I prepare to justify in writing why I am worthy of a permanent position as a faculty member. I will remain laser focused on the work that has brought me to this point in my career and the even more important work that still needs to be addressed. My external tenure reviewers will remain unaware of the challenges I have faced. While I offer these implications for supporting BIPOC women faculty as they prepare for tenure in the academy, I also provide the following reminders to myself and offer them to other BIPOC women faculty, who may also be mothers.

Be kind to yourself and take breaks when you need to. Do not feel guilty for taking care of yourself in order take care of others. It is okay to say no if it is not in your best interest. Find a friend or colleague you trust to check-in with, it will make it feel less isolating. Try and find time for yourself each day and do something that is not related to your role as an academic, partner or mother. Finally, you are doing the best you can given the extenuating circumstances, give yourself some grace and celebrate all that you have accomplished thus far.