Simply ‘Yes’. Response to Stuart Stevenson: ‘The impact of homophobic trauma on gay men’

Abstract

Stuart Stevenson has vividly described the way in which being left alone with homosexuality in a homophobic world as a child creates a specific and lasting trauma. Stevenson captured a specific kind of trauma. However, group responses to his generous insights show that something important also happens to recipients of his insights. In groups, people listening want to identify with him and to join him to a point of drowning him out. These acts of joining, ‘me too’, ‘yes, butting’ and ‘whataboutery’ show that it is deeply uncomfortable to hear someone else’s painful experiences, take them in and not respond immediately. A group discussion at the Group Analysis North Barbara Dick Lecture where Stevenson presented his paper came to the clear conclusion that the best response to hearing painful experiences is simply ‘Yes’. Simply listening to the story of the ‘other’ opens up a painful place that is also enriching and empowering. This is the nature of intersectionality.