This article reports the results of two studies looking for evidence of social norms governing the behavior of college-age heterosexual men and women toward their friend's romantic partners. Respondents read scenarios describing a protagonist trying to start a relationship with a friend's romantic partner and were asked to rate their approval or disapproval of that behavior. The studies varied information about the sex of the protagonist, friend and romantic partner, and the relationship of the romantic partners. Controlling for respondents' race and social class, we found that for both men and women a social norm exists only when a third party was viewed as interfering with a couple's relationship, which was described as clearly known and shared by all parties. The lack of a norm when there was ambiguity about the level of commitment between romantic partners is interpreted as the result of conflict among three alternative ideologies of loving relationships.
Bank, B.J. (1995) `Friendship in Australia and the United States: From Feminization to a More Heroic Image', Gender and Society9(1): 79-98.
2.
Bellah, R.N. , Madsen, R., Sullivan, W.M., Swidler, A. & Tipton, S.M. (1985) Habits of the Hearts: Individualism Commitment in American Life. New York: Harper & Row.
3.
Duck S.W. & Wright, P.H. (1993) `Reexamining Gender Differences in Same-Gender Friendships: A Close Look at Two Kinds of Data', Sex Roles48(11/12): 709-727.
4.
Handler, L. (1995) `In the Fraternal Sisterhood: Sororities as Gender Strategy', Gender & Society9(2): 236-255.
5.
Jackson, J. (1965) `Social Stratification, Social Norms, and Roles', in I.D. Steiner & M. Fishbein (Eds) Current Studies in Social Psychology. New York: Holt, Rinehart & Winston.
6.
Jackson, J. (1975) `Normative Power and Conflict Potential', Sociological Methods and Research4: 237-261.
7.
Marsiglio, W. & Scanzoni, J.H. (1995) Families and Friends: Applying the Sociological Imagination. New York: HarperCollins.
8.
Moffat, M. (1989) Coming of Age in New Jersey: College and American Culture. New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers University Press.
9.
Nardi, P.M. & Sherrod, D. (1994) `Friendship in the Lives of Gay Men and Lesbians', Journal of Social and Personal Relationships11: 185-199.
10.
Parker, S. & de Vries, B. (1993) `Patterns of Friendship for Women and Men in Same and Cross-Sex Relationships', Journal of Social and Personal Relationships10: 617-626.
11.
Rubin, L.B. (1985) Just Friends: The Role of Friendship in Our Lives. New York: Harper & Row.
12.
Rubin, L.B. (1990) Erotic Wars: What Happened to the Sexual Revolution?New York: HarperCollins.
13.
Shafffer, L.S. (1983) `Toward Pepitone's Vision of a Normative Social Psychology: What Is a Social Norm?', Journal of Mind and Behavior4(2): 275-294.
14.
Tannen, D. (1990) You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New York: Morrow.
15.
Walker, K. (1994) `Men, Women, and Friendship: What They Say, What They Do', Gender and Society8: 2.
