Would-be-daters are surrounded by media messages that both target one gender and pit men and women against each other in the dating game (i.e., gendered relationship messages). How do these messages influence relationship initiation? In the present research, we focus on the consequences of being primed with gendered dating messages via actual book titles. We propose that such messages should have mixed consequences depending on (a) whether the reader’s gender is congruent with the message’s target gender and (b) the dating outcome. In two experiments, we tested how exposure to gendered dating messages influences emotions, motivation, and self-presentation. Individuals exposed to gender-incongruent messages exhibited higher self-protection motives. Conversely, those exposed to gender-congruent messages experienced reduced feelings of vulnerability, yet had the counterproductive consequence of creating less likeable self-presentations. Would-be-daters should be cautious in their exposure to both gender-congruent and gender-incongruent dating messages.
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