Previous research demonstrates a gender difference in the strategies that people use to initiate heterosexual romantic relationships, with men typically playing a more active role than women (Clark, Shaver, & Abrahams, 1999). The current research tests whether bolstering women’s personal control can eliminate this prevalent gender difference. Across three studies, one correlational and two experimental, results revealed that when women’s sense of personal control is heightened, they become just as willing as men to exert effort and to use direct strategies to initiate relationships. Our findings suggest that the gender difference in participation in the initiation process may be more malleable than previously thought and that feelings of personal control may underlie this gender divide.
Ajzen, I. ( 1991). The theory of planned behavior. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes. Special Issue: Theories of Cognitive Self-Regulation, 50(2), 179-211.
3.
Astin, A.W., Parrott, S.A., Korn, W.S., & Sax, L.J. ( 1997). The American freshman: Thirty year trends. Los Angeles: Higher Education Research Institute, UCLA.
4.
Bandura, A. ( 1982). Self-efficacy mechanism in human agency. American Psychologist, 37(2), 122-147.
5.
Baumeister, R.F., & Vohs, K.D. ( 2004). Sexual economics: Sex as female resource for social exchange in heterosexual interactions. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 8, 339-363.
6.
Berger, C.R. ( 1988). Planning, affect and social action generation . In R. L. Donohew, H. Sypher, & E. T. Higgins (Eds.), Communication, social cognition, and affect (pp. 93-116). Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.
7.
Berger, C.R., & Bell, R.A. ( 1988). Plans and the initiation of social relationships . Human Communication Research, 15, 217-235.
8.
Berscheid, E., & Graziano, W. ( 1979). The initiation of social relationships and interpersonal attraction. In R. L. Burgess & T. L. Huston (Eds.), Social exchange in developing relationships. New York: Harcourt Brace Janovich.
9.
Bryant, A.N. ( 2003). Changes in attitudes toward women’s roles: Predicting gender-role traditionalism among college students. Sex Roles , 48, 131-142.
10.
Buss, D.M., & Schmitt, D.P. ( 1993). Sexual Strategies Theory: An evolutionary perspective on human mating. Psychological Review, 100(2), 204-232.
11.
Charvoz, L., Bodenmann, G., Bertoni, A., Iafrate, R., & Giuliani, C. ( 2009). Is the partner who decides to divorce more attractive? A comparison between initiators and noninitiators. Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, 50, 22-37.
12.
Clark, C.L., Shaver, P.R., & Abrahams, M.F. (1999). Strategic behaviors in romantic relationship initiation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 25(6), 709-722.
13.
Couch, D., & Liamputtong, P. (2008). Online dating and mating: The use of the Internet to meet. sexual partners. Qualitative Health Research, 18(2), 268-279.
14.
Cunningham, M.R., & Barbee, A.P. ( 2008). Prelude to a kiss: Nonverbal flirting, opening gambits, and other communication dynamics in the initiation of romantic relationships . In S. Sprecher, A. Wenzel, & J. Harvey (Eds.), Handbook of relationship initiation (pp. 97-120). New York: Psychology Press.
15.
Eastwick, P.W., Finkel, E.J., Mochon, D., & Ariely, D. ( 2007). Selective versus unselective romantic desire: Not all reciprocity is created equal. Psychological Science , 18(4), 317-319.
16.
Fein, E., & Schneider, S. ( 1995). The Rules: Time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr. Right. New York: Warner .
17.
Finkel, E.J., & Eastwick, P.W. (2009). Arbitrary social norms influence sex differences in romantic selectivity. Psychological Science, 20(10), 1290-1295.
18.
Finkel, E.J., Eastwick, P.W., & Matthews, J. ( 2007). Speed-dating as an invaluable tool for studying romantic attraction: A methodological primer. Personal Relationships , 14(1), 149-166.
19.
Fiske, S.T., Morling, B., & Stevens, L.E. ( 1996). Controlling self and others: A theory of anxiety, mental control, and social control. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 22(2), 115-123.
20.
Glick, P., & Fiske, S.T. ( 2001). An ambivalent alliance: Hostile and benevolent sexism as complementary justifications for gender inequality. American Psychologist, 56(2), 109-118.
21.
Goldberg, L.R. ( 1999). A broad-bandwidth, public domain, personality inventory measuring the lower-level facets of several five-factor models. In I. Mervielde, I. Deary, F. De Fruyt, & F. Ostendorf (Eds.), Personality psychology in Europe, Vol. 7 (pp. 7-28). Tilburg, The Netherlands: Tilburg University Press.
22.
Green, S.K., & Sandos, P. ( 1983). Perceptions of male and female initiators of relationships . Sex Roles, 9, 849-852.
23.
Greer, A.E., & Buss, D.M. ( 1994). Tactics for promoting sexual encounters. Journal of Sex Research, 31(3), 185-201.
24.
Houser, M.L., Horan, S.M., & Furler, L.A. ( 2008). Dating in the fast lane: How communication predicts speed-dating success. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships , 25(5), 749-768.
25.
Johnston, A.M., Lanter, J.R., & Diekman, A.B. ( 2008). Feeling the pressure: Gender role flexibility in men and women. Poster presented at the annual meeting of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, Albuquerque.
26.
Jost, J.T., & Kay, A.C. ( 2005). Exposure to benevolent sexism and complementary gender stereotypes: Consequences for specific and diffuse forms of system justification . Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , 88(3), 498-509.
27.
Judge, T.A., Erez, A., Bono, J.E., & Thoresen, C.J. (2002). Are measures of self-esteem, neuroticism, locus of control, and generalized self-efficacy indicators of a common core construct?Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83(3), 693-710.
28.
Kay, A.C., Gaucher, D., Napier, J.L., Callan, M.J., & Laurin, K. ( 2008). God and the government: Testing a compensatory control mechanism for the support of external systems. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95, 18-35.
29.
Keltner, D., Gruenfeld, D.H., & Anderson, C. ( 2003). Power, approach, and inhibition. Psychological Review, 110(2), 265-284.
30.
Kelley, K., Pilchowicz, E., & Byrne, D. ( 1981). Responses of males to female-initiated dates. Bulletin of the Psychonomic Society, 17(4), 195-196.
31.
Kelley, K., & Rolker-Dolinsky, B. (1987). The psychosexology of female initiation and dominance. In D. Perlman & S. Duck (Eds.), Intimate relationships: Development, dynamics, and deterioration (pp. 63-87). Newbury Park, CA: Sage.
32.
Korabik, K. ( 1982). Sex-role orientation and impressions: A comparison of differing genders and sex roles. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 8(1), 25-30.
33.
Laner, M.R., & Ventrone, N.A. (1998). Egalitarian daters/traditionalist dates. Journal of Family Issues, 19, 468-477.
34.
Laurin, K., Fitzsimons, G.M., & Kay, A.C. ( 2011). Social disadvantage and the self-regulatory function of justice beliefs. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , 100, 149-171.
35.
Maccoby, E.E., & Jacklin, C.N. ( 1974). The psychology of sex differences. Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press.
36.
McCrae, R.R., & Costa, P.T. ( 1987). Validation of the five-factor model of personality across instruments and observers. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(1), 81-90.
37.
McKenna, K.Y.A. ( 2008). MySpace or your place: Relationship initiation and development in the wired and wireless world. In S. Sprecher , A. Wenzel, & J. Harvey (Eds.), Handbook of relationship initiation (pp. 235-247). New York: Psychology Press.
38.
Miller, R.S., & Perlman, D. ( 2009). Intimate relationships (5th ed.). New York: McGraw Hill. Millet, K. (1970). Sexual politics. Garden City, NY: Doubleday.
39.
Moore, M.M. ( 1985). Nonverbal courtship patterns in women: Context and consequences . Ethology and Sociobiology, 6, 237-247.
40.
Muehlenhard, C.L., & Scardino, T.J. (1985). What will he think? Men’s impressions of women who initiate dates and achieve academically. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 32(4), 560-569.
41.
Parks-Stamm, E.J., Heilman, M.E., & Hearns, K.A. ( 2008). Motivated to penalize: Women’s strategic rejection of successful women. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin , 34(2), 237-247.
42.
Peplau, L.A., & Campbell, S.M. (1989). The balance of power in dating and marriage. In J. Freeman (Ed.), Women: A feminist perspective (4th ed.) (pp. 121-137). Mountain View, CA: Mayfield.
43.
Peplau, L.A., Rubin, Z., Hill, C.T. ( 1977). Sexual intimacy in dating relationships. Journal of Social Issues, 33(3), 86-109.
44.
Perper, T. ( 1985). Sex signals: The biology of love. Philadelphia, PA, US: ISI Press.
45.
Ramirez, A. Jr., & Zhang, S. ( 2007). When online meets offline: The effect of modality switching on relational communication. Communication Monographs , 74(3), 287-310.
46.
Richardson, D., Bernstein, S., & Hendrick, C. ( 1980). Deviations from conventional sex-role behavior: Effect of perceivers’ sex-role attitudes on attraction. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 1(4), 351-356.
47.
Rose, S., & Frieze, I.H. ( 1989). Young singles’ scripts for a first date . Gender & Society, 3(2), 258-268.
48.
Rose, S., & Frieze, I.H. ( 1993). Young singles’ contemporary dating scripts . Sex Roles, 28(9/10), 499-509.
49.
Ross, C.E., & Mirowsky, J. ( 2002). Age and the gender gap in the sense of personal control . Social Psychology Quarterly, 65(2), 125-145.
50.
Sandnabba, N.K., & Ahlberg, C. ( 1999). Parents’ attitudes and expectations about children’s cross-gender behavior. Sex Roles, 40(3-4), 249-263.
51.
Scharlott, B.W., & Christ, W.G. ( 1995). Overcoming relationship-initiation barriers: The impact of a computer-dating system on sex role, shyness, and appearance inhibitions . Computers in Human Behavior, 11(2), 191-204.
52.
Schmitt, D.P. ( 2008). An evolutionary perspective on mate choice and relationships initiation. In S. Sprecher, A. Wenzel, & J. Harvey (Eds.), Handbook of relationship initiation (pp. 55-74). New York: Psychology Press.
53.
Serewicz, M.C.M., & Gale, E. ( 2008). First-date scripts: Gender roles, context and relationship . Sex Roles, 58, 149-164.
54.
Snodgrass, S.E. ( 1985). Women’s intuition: The effect of subordinate role on interpersonal sensitivity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 49(1), 146-155.
55.
Sprecher, S., & McKinney, K. ( 1987). Barriers in the initiation of intimate heterosexual relationships and strategies for intervention. Journal of Social Work & Human Sexuality . Special Issue: Intimate relationships: Some social work perspectives on love, 5(2), 97-110.
56.
Sprecher, S., Schwartz, P., Harvey, J., & Hatfield, E. ( 2008). TheBusinessofLove.com: Relationship initiation at Internet matchmaking services. In S. Sprecher , A. Wenzel, & J. Harvey (Eds.), Handbook of relationship initiation (pp. 249-265). New York: Psychology Press.
57.
Sprecher, S., Wenzel, A. , & Harvey, J. (Eds.), Handbook of relationship initiation (pp. 55-74). New York: Psychology Press.
58.
Trivers, R. ( 1972). Parental investment and sexual selection. In B. Campbell (Ed.), Sexual selection and the descent of man (pp. 136-179). Chicago: Aldine-Atherton .
59.
Twenge, J.M. ( 1997). Changes in masculine and feminine traits over time: A meta-analysis. Sex Roles, 36, 305-325.
Supplementary Material
Please find the following supplemental material available below.
For Open Access articles published under a Creative Commons License, all supplemental material carries the same license as the article it is associated with.
For non-Open Access articles published, all supplemental material carries a non-exclusive license, and permission requests for re-use of supplemental material or any part of supplemental material shall be sent directly to the copyright owner as specified in the copyright notice associated with the article.
