“We all have Regrets;it doesn’t Mean we are Failures”: Rejecting or Regretting Motherhood

Abstract

A woman’s choice to remain childfree is often met with disapproving comments. This article focuses on pronatalism and the social discourse that promotes and maintains motherhood as the preferred choice for women in a country that has achieved high levels of gender equality. Critical discourse analysis is applied to 30 qualitative interviews with women, trans, and non-binary people in Iceland, who are either childfree by choice or who regret motherhood. The results indicate that despite neoliberalism advocating a woman’s right to freedom of choice, pronatalist ideologies continue to undermine reproductive self-determination, promoting motherhood as the right choice. Unsolicited comments act as powerful mechanisms that serve to shame those who can bear children into becoming mothers or facing regret yet simultaneously condemn women who regret motherhood. Women who choose to remain childfree privately challenge unwanted comments by overturning pronatalist discourses, whereas those who regret their choice to become mothers struggle to express their feelings for fear of being judged and branded as failures.