The difficulties men have with intimacy issues are documented within clinical lore as well as a growing body of empirical research. This paper traces these difficulties to the disidentification process and suggests that there are some specific ways in which this emotionally traumatic process manifests itself. This is expounded upon using an object relations perspective, in particular the work of Melanie Klein and Margaret Mahler. Implications for treatment are discussed.
AbelinE. (1971). The role of the father in the separation-individuation process. In McDevittJ. B. & SettlageC. F. (Eds.), Separation individuation (pp. 52–69). New York: International Universities Press.
2.
BenjaminJ. (1998). The bonds of love. New York: Pantheon Books.
3.
BergmanS. J. (1995). Men's psychological development: A relational perspective In LevantR. F. & PollackW. S. (Eds.), A new psychology of men (pp. 33–67). New York: Basic Books.
4.
BetcherR. W., & PollackW. S. (1983). In a time of fallen heroes: The re-creation of masculinity. New York: Atheneum.
5.
BlazinaC. (1997). The fear of the feminine in the western psyche and the masculine task of disidentification: Their effect on the development of masculine gender role conflict. The Journal of Men's Studies, 6, 55–68.
6.
BlazinaC. (2001a). Gender role conflicted men's poor parental attachment and separation/individuation difficulties: Knights without armor in a savage land. The Journal of Men's Studies, 9, 257–265.
7.
BlazinaC. (2001b). Analytic psychology and gender role conflict: The development of the fragile masculine self. Psychotherapy, 38, 50–59.
8.
BlazinaC., & WatkinsC. E.Jr. (1996). Masculine gender role conflict: Effects on men's scores of psychological well-being, substance usage, and attitudes toward help-seeking. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 43, 461–465.
9.
BlazinaC., & WatkinsC. E.Jr. (2000). Separation/individuation, parental attachment, and male gender role conflict: Attitudes towards the feminine and the fragile masculine self. Psychology of Men and Masculinity, 2, 126–132.
10.
BlyR. (1990). Iron John: A book about men. Reading, MA: Addison Wesley.
11.
ChodorowN. (1989). Feminism and psychoanalytic theory. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
12.
FairbairnW. R. D. (1954). An object relations theory of personality. New York: Basic Books.
13.
FreudS. (1963). Analysis terminable and interminable. In RieffP. (Eds.), Freud: Therapy and technique (pp. 233–272). New York: Collier. (Original work published in 1937)
14.
GilliganC. (1982). In a different voice. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
15.
GreensonR. (1968). Disidentifying from mother: Its special importance for the boy. International Journal of Psychoanalysis, 49, 370–374.
16.
HinshelwoodR. D. (1989). A dictionary of Kleinian thought. Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson.
17.
HinshelwoodR. D. (1994). Clinical Klein: From theory to practice. New York: Basic Books.
18.
HornerA. J. (1984). Treating the Oedipal patient in brief psychotherapy. New York: Jason Aronson.
19.
KernbergO. (1976). Object relations theory and clinical psychoanalysis. New York: Jason Aronson.
20.
MahalikJ. R.CournoyerR.DeFrancW.CherryM.NapolitanoJ. M. (1998). Gender role conflict: Predictors of men's utilization of psychological defenses. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 45, 247–255.
21.
MahlerM. S., & GoslinerR.J. (1955). On symbiotic child psychosis; genetic, dynamic, and restitutive aspects. Psychoanalytic Study Child, 10, 195–212.
22.
MahlerM. S.PineF., & BergmanA. (1975). The psychological birth of the infant: Symbiosis and individuation. New York: Basic Books.
23.
MeerlooJ. A. M. (1968). The psychological role of the father: The father cuts the cord. Child and Family, 102–116.
24.
OgdenT. (1982). Projective indentification and psychotheraputic technique. New York: Jason Aronson.
25.
O'NeilJ. M.HelmsB. J.GableR. K.DavidL., & WrightsmanL. S. (1986). Gender role conflict scale: College men's fear of femininity. Sex Roles, 14, 335–350.
26.
OshersonS. (1986). Finding our fathers: How a man's life is shaped by his relationship with his father. New York: Fawcett Columbine.
27.
PleckJ. H. (1981). The myth of masculinity. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.
28.
PollackW.S. (1990). Men's development and psychotherapy: A psychoanalytic perspective. Psychotherapy, 27, 316–321.
29.
PollackW.S. (1995). No man is an island: Toward a new psychoanalytic psychology of men. In LevantR. F. & PollackW. S. (Eds.), A new psychology of men (pp. 33–67). New York, New York: Basic Books.
30.
SegalH. (1957). Notes on symbol formation. International Journal of Psychoanalysis, 38, 391–397.
