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Abstract

Fathers contribute to healthy child development, but there are limited data that provide an in-depth understanding of fathers’ perceptions of the challenges and rewards of fatherhood. We recruited 122 fathers from three different ethnic groups living in Atlanta, Georgia to conduct a mixed-methods research study on fathers’ perceptions of the challenges and rewards of fatherhood. Challenges included financial responsibilities (56%), sleep-deprivation (47%), work-family conflict (44%), negative changes in their relationship with their partner (43%), and children crying and whining (23%). Ninety seven percent of fathers agreed that having children added meaning to their life when asked. Many indicated that having children infused their life with an invaluable sense of meaning and purpose, and inspired them to become better people. The most common spontaneously mentioned rewards included witnessing developmental milestones (38%), experiencing the child as an extension of oneself (26%), witnessing children’s accomplishments (26%), and feeling loved by children (20%). In quantitative analyses, higher self-reported quality of family life was associated with living with children full-time, having fewer children, getting more sleep, having planned the first child, and minimal work-family conflict and financial stress. Finally, fathers reported increases in positive affect and decreases in negative affect over the course of the interviews, suggesting that they benefited psychologically from reflecting on and sharing their experience as fathers.

Keywords

fathers rewards challenges qualitative mixed methods

Introduction

Considerable evidence indicates that fathers are important for healthy child development. Father absence is associated with a host of negative developmental outcomes for children, including substance abuse, aggression and conduct disorder, dropping out of school and risky sexual behavior in adolescence (Ellis et al., 2012; Gray & Anderson, 2010; Lamb, 2010; McLanahan et al., 2013; Sarkadi et al., 2008; Sigle-Rushton & McLanahan, 2004). On the other hand, positive paternal engagement translates into better cognitive, behavioral, social and psychological outcomes for children (Cabrera et al., 2000, 2018; Gray & Anderson, 2010; Lamb, 2010; Pleck, 2010b; Rowe et al., 2017; Schoppe-Sullivan & Fagan, 2020).

While there is abundant evidence that fatherhood impacts child development, a smaller body of research has demonstrated that fatherhood also impacts men’s adult development (Kotelchuck, 2022). The act of becoming a father is a major transition in the life course (Palkovitz, 2002). Fatherhood has been shown to impact men’s health, social lives, and work lives (Eggebeen D et al., 2012). Health-related changes may be both positive and negative. In one study, three-quarters of men reported positive changes to their health-related behaviors. These changes included improved diet, increased physical activity and decreased alcohol usage (Garfield et al., 2010). Another study found that the majority of expectant fathers identified as current smokers tried to quit in the past year, or indicated an intention to quit in the near future (Everett et al., 2005). Changes like these may partially explain reduced mortality rates among married men with children in the home compared with married men without children in the home (Kobrin & Hendershot, 1977; Modig et al., 2017). On the other hand, there is evidence that parents with children consume significantly more fat than adults without children (Laroche et al., 2007), and that men gain weight across the transition to fatherhood (Kotelchuck, 2022; Saxbe et al., 2018). In addition, new fathers suffer depression at twice the rate of non-fathers (Paulson & Bazemore, 2010; Paulson et al., 2006). In the social realm, marital quality tends to decrease after having children (Kowal et al., 2021; Twenge et al., 2003). On the other hand, fathers report more contact with their parents compared with men who are not fathers. Fathers are also more likely to be involved in service and community organizations, but spend less time socializing with friends, going out to bars and playing recreational sports than non-fathers (Eggebeen D et al., 2012; Gray & Anderson, 2010). In the occupational realm, there is evidence that fathers are more likely to be employed, to work longer hours, and to earn higher wages than non-fathers (Glauber, 2008; Hodges & Budig, 2010; Kotelchuck, 2022).

There has been less research on how men experience these changes that accompany the transition to fatherhood. That is, which aspects of becoming a father do men find rewarding or challenging and, importantly, how does this change across child development and how does it vary by socioeconomic status and ethnicity (Parke, 2000)? One notable exception is a detailed qualitative study of 40 American fathers (Palkovitz, 2002). This study identified several themes related to the benefits of fatherhood, including: the satisfaction of watching one’s children grow, a sense of pride in one’s child, love received from one’s child, personal growth, expanded self, extension of the family line, fun, continued learning, additional meaning and purpose, and enhanced marriage. The study also identified several themes related to the costs of fatherhood, including: reduced personal time, personal sacrifice, financial strain, reduced marital closeness, and children growing up and not needing you as much. Overall, the men in this study reported that the benefits of fatherhood outweighed the costs, and that they viewed fatherhood as a generative process that shaped their lives for the better.

The nature and extent of paternal involvement varies considerably across cultures. Among small-scale, non-industrial societies, fathers are quite consistently involved in provisioning, but involvement in direct caregiving is highly variable (M. J. Konner, 2010). Mothers typically receive help from a variety of potential allomothers, including but not limited to fathers (Hrdy, 2009). Fathers are often more involved in caregiving when other allomothers are less available (Fouts, 2008; Meehan, 2005; Winking et al., 2009). Even among the Aka hunter-gatheres from central Africa, where fathers do more caregiving than men in any other known society, mothers hold infants far more than fathers do (Hewlett, 1991).

Among modern nation states, such as China, Russia and India, traditional fathers were strict, emotionally detached, authoritarian breadwinners who were minimally involved in caregiving. However, modern fathers in these and many other nations around the world are now becoming more involved, expressive and affectionate toward their children (Shwalb et al., 2013). Fathers in some countries deviate from the nuclear family model so common in many parts of the world. For example, distributed fathering, in which many fathers have responsibility for children other than their own, is common in South Africa (Townsend, 2013).

Due to increasing rates of divorce and non-marital childbearing, the U.S. has the highest rate of single parenting in the world (Pew Research Center, 2019). That rate is particularly high among Black Americans (United States Census Bureau, 2021). However, many non-resident fathers remain highly involved, and studies show that their children benefit from this involvement (Amato & Gilbreth, 1999; Choi & Pyun, 2014). Among resident fathers, Black fathers reported being more involved in instrumental caregiving activities like bathing, diapering and dressing their children, as well as helping with homework, compared with white and Hispanic fathers (Jones & Mosher, 2013). Due in part to discriminatory criminal justice practices, one in three Black American men will be imprisoned at some point in their lives and this also contributes to high rates of single parenthood in the Black community (Morsey & Rothstein, 2016). On the other hand, grandmothers are more often involved in raising Black children (Wilson, 2021).

Despite high rates of non-resident fathers, resident American fathers have more than tripled their time spent on childcare over the last several decades (Livingston & Parker, 2019), likely because the majority of American mothers now work a full-time job (Horowitz, 2019). As a consequence of shared breadwinning responsibilities, the current American cultural model of fathering is that the care of children should also be shared between men and women (McFadden & Tamis-LeMonda, 2013). Despite this, the U.S. government is an outlier among high income nations in not offering any paid paternity leave (C. C. Miller, 2021), and this likely places limits on paternal involvement and contributes to high levels of work-family conflict experienced by American fathers (Aumann et al., 2011).

Conceptions of fatherhood are changing in the U.S. and in other parts of the world. As women’s educational outcomes have steadily improved, they have achieved access to high-paying jobs that used to be occupied by men and the gender gap in wages has decreased (M. Konner, 2015). The cumulative result is that more families are opting for mothers to be the family breadwinner and more fathers are staying at home as the primary caregiver. In the U.S., the number of stay at home fathers (SAHFs) has more than doubled in the last 20 years to the point that approximately 20% of all stay at home parents are now fathers (Lee et al., 2020).

The primary objective of the current study was to identify the challenges and rewards perceived by a diverse sample of modern American fathers by way of a semi-structured qualitative interview. Conceptually, we envision that the rewards and challenges of fatherhood will vary by the developmental stage of the child, and perhaps, by the social class and ethnicity of the father. We recruited equal numbers of fathers who self-identified as Asian, Black and white fathers from the Atlanta area. We also investigated the effects of participant ethnicity and age of their children on reported challenges and rewards. This allowed us to compare across self-identified sub-groups and across different developmental stages.

A secondary objective of our study was to conduct a quantitative analysis of variables associated with fathers’ self-reported overall subjective quality of family life. Based on a conceptual model that economic, physical and social stressors would impact on father’s quality of life, we made several predictions about factors that would influence fathers’ reported subjective quality of family life. Consistent with previous research (Beutell & Wittig-Berman, 1999; Kowal et al., 2021; Md-Sidin et al., 2010), we predicted that quality of family life would be negatively associated with factors suspected to increase work-family conflict, such as more time spent at work and a greater number of children at home. We also generated a series of novel predictions. We predicted that non-residential fathers would report lower quality of family life compared with resident fathers since non-residential status has been associated with less paternal involvement (Amato et al., 2010; Castillo et al., 2011), although this is not always the case (Amato et al., 2010). We also expected non-residential status to be associated with a greater likelihood of relationship stress with mothers, which would decrease quality of family life. Fathers of unintended children are less likely to live with or visit their children, and are less likely to participate in caregiving activities (Lindberg et al., 2017). As such, we predicted that fathers who did not plan to have their first child would report lower quality family life than fathers whose first child was planned. Similarly, we predicted that fathers who were experiencing financial stress would report lower quality of family life. Given the negative impact of prolonged sleep deprivation on mental health (Roberts & Duong, 2014), fathers who slept fewer hours were also predicted to report worse quality of family life. Finally, we suspected that talking about the challenges and rewards of fatherhood would be therapeutic for fathers, and that men would experience increases in positive affect and decreases in negative affect over the course of the interview.

Methods

This study was approved by the Emory University Institutional Review Board. All data were collected in 2016 to 2017.

Participants

Participants were recruited by posting physical flyers in and around the Emory University community. Interested individuals contacted research staff by phone or email. Study staff would then further explain the study. Interested and qualified individuals were scheduled for an interview. Participants included 40 Asian, 41 Black and 41 white participants. Participants were also roughly evenly distributed across four groups based on the age of their eldest child. Twenty-eight participants had an eldest child between 0 and 2 years of age, 32 had a child between 2 and 5, 31 had a child between 5 and 12, and 31 had a child between 12 and 30. Participants averaged 37.5 years of age (19–59), and had between 1 and 5 children (M = 1.8). Combined years of education for the father and mother ranged from 22 to 44, with a mean of 33 (SD = 4.5). Thus, while many of the fathers in our sample were college-educated or beyond, 13 men had a high school education or less. Another 11 completed some college, but did not earn a degree. Fifty-four participants were research personnel (n = 20), students (n = 15), professors (n = 6), physicians (n = 5), postdoctoral fellows (n = 5) or lawyers (n = 3) from the University.

Combined income ranged from $0 to $750,000, with an average of $104,772 (SD = $92,176). Three of the fathers were unemployed. In addition, fathers who were currently in school often had no income. Seventy-four percent of participants were married to the mother of all of their children. Eight percent of participants were married to the mother of some but not all of their children. One percent were married, but not to the mother of any of their children. The remaining participants were unmarried. Seventy-six percent of participants lived with their children full time. Twelve percent of participants lived with their children some of the time. The remaining 12% lived apart from their children. Sixty-six percent indicated that their first child was planned. Of men with more than one child, 82% had all children with the same mother. Additional demographic information, including annual income, and weekly hours work, are provided in Table 1.

Table 1.

Sample Characteristics.

Continuous variables	n	Minimum	Maximum	Mean	SD
Age (yr)	122	19	59	37.5	8.87
Number of children	122	1	5	1.8	0.95
Combined years of education	121	22	44	33.3	4.47
Regular hours work and school per week	122	0	95	45.2	13.71
Combined annual income (USD)	121	$ 0	$750,000	$104,772	$92,176
Categorical variables	n	%Yes	%Part-time
Does the respondent live with his children?	122	76	12
Did the respondent’s father live with him as a child?	122	76	8
Do all of the respondent’s children have the same mother?	68	82
Was the respondent’s first child planned?	119	65

Protocol

All interviews were conducted by the first author (JR) in his office on the Emory University campus. After providing written informed consent, participants completed the Positive and Negative Affect Schedule (PANAS), to characterize their current affective and emotional state. PANAS is a self-report questionnaire that includes one 10-item scale to measure positive affect and another 10-item scale to measure negative affect. Each item is rated on a 5 point scale from 1(not at all) to 5 (extremely) (Watson et al., 1988). After the PANAS, the interviewer asked the participant 14 demographic-related questions, and recorded their answers. Afterward, participants were asked 26 open-ended interview questions regarding the challenges and rewards of fatherhood (see Supplemental Materials for questionnaires). Interviews lasted between 32 and 122 min (Mean = 72.25, SD = 17.32). After the interview, participants were asked to rate their current overall quality of family life on a 10-point Likert scale, and completed the PANAS a second time. The interviewer left the room while the participant completed both PANAS surveys to provide privacy. Upon returning to the room after the second PANAS, the interviewer compensated the participant with $100. The Likert-scale quality of family life question and the interview question, “Did having children add meaning to your life?” were added part-way through the study, so analyses with these variables have smaller sample sizes (n = 73 and n = 61, respectively).

Analysis

All interviews were audio recorded, transcribed, and imported into MaxQDA software. Themes were defined using a bottom-up approach in which respondents’ voices guided the identification of themes. After conducting the interviews and reviewing the transcripts, the first author (JR) defined a set of themes based on challenges and rewards that were expressed repeatedly across all 122 interviews; these were defined as instances where the respondent manifestly or implicitly discussed the difficulties that come with parenting and the benefits. To allow respondents’ experiences to drive the findings, we did not pre-specify these challenges and rewards, but rather let those come from the interviews (Guest et al., 2012; Ryan & Bernard, 2003). Once the point of theme saturation had been reached, that is, where no new expression of challenges and rewards emerged, these themes were then systematically applied to the transcripts using MaxQDA (Hennink et al., 2017). Themes related to rewards included: witnessing children’s development, experiencing the child as an extension of one’s self, children’s accomplishments, feeling loved by children, the child’s appearance and affective expressions, teaching and preparing children for the world, receiving compliments about the child, emotions surrounding the birth, and improved relationship with one’s partner. Themes related to challenges included financial stress, work-family conflict, worse relationship with partner, lack of sleep, and children crying and whining. Statements that related to multiple themes were double-coded. All coding was carried out by JR, and following Kuckartz (2019), analysis focused on describing key themes and providing illustrative quotes, and exploring the distribution of themes across socio-demographic categories. To further explore the relationship between themes and sociodemographic variables, we coded the absence/presence of each theme for each respondent, and created a binary matrix indicating whether each subject mentioned each reward theme and each challenge theme.

Self-reported quality of family life was tested for associations with continuous variables using the Pearson Product-Moment Correlation Coefficient, and with dichotomous variables using two sample t-tests.

The proportion of participants mentioning each reward or challenge was compared across ethnic groups and child age groups using an Independent-Samples Kruskal-Wallis Test.

Results

Challenges and Rewards of Fatherhood

Fathers are referred to by their ID number below to protect confidentiality. For example, the father with ID = 1 is referred to as FA1, etc.

Challenges

Financial

All men were asked how much pressure they felt to provide economically for their children, and whether this caused any stress or anxiety. Sixty-eight men (56%) answered that they felt financial pressure, stress or anxiety. For some, this was a very significant burden. The following quotes were indicative. “On a scale of 0 to 100%, like I mean like 100%” (FA25), “A ton” (FA28), “it’s, it’s enormous” (FA31), “Immense pressure. Immense pressure” (FA45), “All the pressure. Just all the f_cking pressure, if I can curse. All of it. All of it, all of it” (FA51), “Yes, yes and yes” (FA64), “Yeah, um, tremendous pressure” (FA70); “Oh yea. A ton” (FA84).

Many fathers felt that it was primarily their responsibility to provide for their children, and were willing to make any necessary sacrifices. FA36 was a 47 year-old Black father with a college degree who managed a company. He had three biological children between the ages of 5 and 19. He was separated from his wife and was living with a new partner, who also had three children that he was providing for. He described the responsibility as follows, “Yes, it’s a lot of pressure. I mean, I take… I take that very seriously, and… yeah, I work sun up to sun down if I have to, but it’s stressful, though.”

For some men, the responsibility of providing was all-consuming and negatively impacted their quality of life. FA118 was a 53 year-old Chinese father with a college degree who came to the U.S. as an adult, and then had two children who were now teenagers. He described the weight of financial responsibility as follows, “I remember when I had my second boy when I took on the three jobs … I need to bring more money … I only have like four hours sleep. It’s just like every day is just working … even on Saturdays I took a job.”

Several men indicated that being the sole wage earner in the family exacerbated the stress and pressure they felt to provide. For example, FA56 was a 32 year-old Black father of a 3 year-old girl who he did not currently live with. He expressed this idea as follows, “I’m stressed out all the time, because, yeah, child support, and her mom doesn’t have, like … a real job and so it’s all on me, that’s very stressful, so I have a job I don’t really want to do because I have to do it, you know, and my job’s not very fun, or fulfilling.”

Work-Family Conflict

All fathers were asked if they had difficulty balancing work and family life. Fifty-four fathers (44%) answered in the affirmative. For example, FA2 was a 35 year-old white father of two children under the age of 5. He was an MD/PhD who had completed his medical residency and was in the midst of a postdoctoral fellowship. He noted explicit conflict between time spent at work and time spent with children, saying “a challenge has been to put the family first yet make sure that work is there at a high enough level that I’m going to succeed and sometimes that means you gotta put family second, and that’s been a hard concept for me to deal with.”

FA114 was a 49 year-old Asian accountant with two adolescent sons who described the pressures of tax season on him and his family, “I remember every tax season … My wife was not happy. We always have some arguments … during tax season because that pressure accumulates … When it accumulates to a certain level, maybe when I come home, I really—I don’t look good. I look tired, I look really mad … And maybe when I talk to her, say something maybe I didn’t, you know, sounds very well, and she has so much pressure accumulate as well.”

Some fathers described being physically but not fully psychologically present with their children, as thoughts of work intruded. FA45 was a 35 year-old white MD/PhD student who was focused on finishing his PhD, “And it’s not only the time working, but it’s the attention in your mind, even if you’re not working. If I spend time with my kids, thinking about work, is it time working or is it time with my kids?.” For FA8, a 26 year-old white medical student, it was school that intruded on family life, “…sometimes I’m still like thinking about school. When we were in biochemistry … those two weeks were hard and I felt like I was missing out on my time with her even when I was with her and I couldn’t really focus on her cause I was just stressed.”

In some cases, work intruded on family time more explicitly. Modern technology (i.e., smart-phones) made it challenging for some fathers to separate work from home. FA23, a 30 year-old Black father of two children who worked as a research administrator, provided one good example, “like sometimes I’m with the kids, and then an email comes through and somebody’s like looking for this and that. And even though I have my out-of-office up, they’re still expecting me or they still need me to tell them where it is … So that can be a little bit difficult sometimes” (FA23).

Relationship With Partner

All men were asked how having children affected their relationship with their child’s mother. Fifty-three men (43%) indicated that it had a negative impact on the relationship.

Many fathers noted that the attention and affection they had previously received from their partner shifted to the child after the birth. FA118, a 53 year-old Asian father, noted that after having children, “She is spending more time on child. Yeah, sometime he the center. I feel it, personally. I feel less care, care about me.” FA67, a 59 year-old white accountant and father of two, described this shift in more detail, “so that first year, I mean, she really doted on me, but then my daughter was born … the focus for her became the kids … in a lot of ways, I am looking forward to him going off to college.”

Closely related to this shift in the partner’s focus of attention and affection, many men noted that their relationship with their partner was strained due to a lack of time to devote to it. FA12 was a 37 year-old white physician with three children who was married to a physician. He said, “it’s been very difficult to focus on our specific romantic relationship, and to have any sort of meaningful conversation that doesn’t involve childcare … and it’s hard to have any specific interests outside of the children … And I think that the fatigue is a factor also that contributes to all of that, whether that’s with physical or emotional intimacy.” FA15 was a 33 year-old white assistant professor and father of two children. After having a second child, he lamented, “there is not so much time to have those conversations and learn how each other is doing. We may get 15 minutes a night, which is not enough and that has been problematic and I think we have had more emotional strain with that reduced communication.”

Some fathers alluded more specifically to a loss of physical intimacy. FA1 was a 48 year-old white IT specialist and father of three children, “… intimacy is definitely diminished with children … I mean, it’s like a switch turned off.” FA3, a 34 year-old white father of two, regretted that he and his wife sometimes feel, “more like were roommates that share a bed,” and FA89, a 45 year-old Korean father of one boy, described his wife transforming from a “young, attractive girl” before having children to a “co-worker” afterward.

Sleep

Sleep deprivation was also a pervasive theme. All men were asked if they felt they were getting enough sleep. Forty-three men (35%) said that they were not.

The newborn period, when infants were feeding throughout the night, was a particularly challenging time for some fathers in terms of sleep. Many men said their infants slept through the night from an early age. However, this was not the case for others. Three different Asian fathers noted their struggles with sleep deprivation during this period. FA121 (age 39), “And he is crying so we have to hold him to sleep, and if we put him to bed, in two hours he will stop crying … So either my wife or me will have to hold him. Sometimes you know we get maybe two hours sleep during the night.” FA91 (age 36) said, “The first three months were very tough. My boy just waked up frequently - every three hours … the boy needed to be hugged for sleeping. Not good for that. Yeah, it was very hard..” Finally, FA115 (53 years) noted, “I was deprived of sleep almost every night, you never know when the baby would cry….” Fathers of other ethnicities also struggled. FA60, a 53 year-old white father of two children, exclaimed “sleep deprivation! That’s a big one, that’s probably number one because that was for like six years … very stressful on both of us.” Despite setting aside enough time for sleep, many men complained of disrupted, fragmented sleep and poor sleep quality. FA21, a 34 year-old Black father with a 2-year old son, described his situation as follows, “our two-year-old is in and out of the bed with us and he’s a wild sleeper so even those hours are usually broken, so it almost nothing.”

Crying and Whining

Several fathers (n = 28, 23%) described stress and frustration surrounding their children’s crying and whining. FA22 was a 35 year-old Asian PhD student with a 2 year-old son who woke up crying several times at night, “so he cried really hard and he try to find us. We have to put him in our bed. That may happen like three times or four times at night so, it was pretty bad.” He went on, “Horrible time. Nightmare.”

FA24 was a 32 year-old white father and Captain in the Army who was currently a graduate student. He had four children ages 6 and under. He described his frustration with infant crying as follows, “he’s just screaming cause we try to feed him but we can’t hold him. That’s all he wants is to be held by mommy right now. So it’s just aggravating cause he’s just very loud, very, he won’t give up.” FA48, a 40 year-old Black father of three, and his wife were similarly frustrated, “High pitched noise all night, crying, but everything whining. Oh, my goodness. It was a very tough time. Even my wife. She was like ‘ahh boy I am gonna fight him’.”

Infant crying was particularly challenging when inconsolable, as described by FA6, a 30 year-old white father of a newborn boy, “when I couldn’t console him when he was crying…like I couldn’t figure out the problem, I was just frustrated.” FA 50, a 33 year-old white father of two girls, similarly expressed frustration, “She would go to bed and then wake up and cry. She would cry when you changed her clothes, gave her a bath, if she sat in a seat for too long. And you just couldn’t console her - it was like screaming crying.”

Some men viewed their inability to console their infant as a personal failure. FA71, a 31 year-old Black father with a newborn daughter, felt rejected by her inconsolable crying, “When she’s crying and crying and I can’t get her to stop crying, it makes me feel bad like she doesn’t like me or something.” Inconsolable crying made FA19, a 29 year-old Asian father with a 2 year old daughter, feel inept, “I don’t have any power. What she needed was just mother’s hugging and also feeding … I was very disappointed with my powerlessness.” FA3, a 34 year-old white father with two sons, including a newborn, conveyed a similar idea, “it stresses me out a lot when I’m trying to take care of him and let her rest because he does so much better with her than with me.”

For a few men, the crying pushed them to the brink of physically harming their infant. FA 13 was a 34 year-old Black father with three daughters, “I just remember like wanting her to be quiet and I’m squeezing harder like a hug but this is like out of anger, like what am I doing. Like, this is not good. You know?.” FA57, a 56 year-old white father with five adult children, provided another example, “you know, a couple of three times over 20 years or so, I got to where I didn’t do the shaking, but I was … I mean I never succumbed, I never hurt them. But there were … maybe 3 or 4 times over the whole rearing period I might’ve gotten to a place where I didn’t want to be,” as did FA59, a 38 year-old Asian father of an infant boy, “And he keep on crying. It just gets to me, you know, you almost become little bit more rough with him because you will just try to hold him down more. Say, ‘Stop it,.’ I now can realize why people will have Shaken Baby Syndrome.”

Challenges Summary Statistics

Fathers mentioned an average of 2.1 total challenges (SD = 1.3). For three of the five challenge categories, there was no difference among the three ethnic groups in the proportion of fathers who endorsed the challenge. “Worse relationship with partner” was mentioned more by both white (63%) and Asian (45%) compared with Black (22%) fathers (p < .05). Financial challenges were mentioned more by white (66%) than by Asian (40%) fathers. There was a similar trend for Black (61%) fathers to mention this challenge more than Asian fathers (Supplemental Table 1). For four of the five challenge categories, there was no difference among the child age groups in the proportion of fathers who endorsed the challenge. Only “infant crying and whining” differed by child age group, with fathers of children in age group 1 (0–2 years old, 46%) mentioning this challenge more than those with children in each of the other age groups (age group 2 = 22%, age group 3 = 19%, age group 4 = 7%; Supplemental Table 2). To assess whether class or SES was associated with endorsement of specific challenges, we compared combined years education between men who did and did not endorse each challenge. There was no difference in combined years of education between fathers who did and did not endorse any of the challenge themes (Supplemental Table 3).

Rewards

Meaning and Purpose

A sub-set of fathers (n = 61) were specifically asked if having children added meaning to their life. Fifty-nine (97%) answered in the affirmative. FA71, a 31 year-old Black father with a 3 months-old daughter, articulated the idea most explicitly, “Before my wife was pregnant, I was having this on-going philosophical debate about how life HAS no meaning in the grand scheme of things on this one planet, this one universe … But after I had [my daughter], I was like, I mean everything to this kid and she means everything to me, and it’s a solid meaning. You can’t really toss it out the window. It’s crazy. Never thought something could mean so much.”

Other men noted the sense of purpose fatherhood provided them. According to FA20, a 34 year-old white Ph.D. student with one infant son, stated, “… being a dad…gave me like another sense of purpose … If all things fall apart …, but I can provide and keep him happy, I’ll be okay.” This idea was echoed by FA81, a 33 year-old Asian Ph.D. student and father of a newborn infant boy, “if you have no other purpose in life … you can still go home and take care of your kid and that is a great thing. So, that definitely adds purpose.”

FA87 was a 45 year-old Asian father of a 15 year old girl and a 9 year old boy who immigrated from China 15 years ago, and now worked as a research scientist. He became overwhelmed by emotion when talking about what his children meant to him, “I’m not in any religion, but one word from my friends … he said that having child is a prayer from… [subject crying, interviewer asks, “from God?” and subject affirms, “Yeah”].

Several men said that having children motivated or inspired them to become better people. One 35 year-old white father with an infant daughter (FA92) said, “I feel like I became a better person now that I’m a dad … Definitely think about, you know, your actions before you take them and um, something about how they would impact her.”

FA96 was a 26 year-old Black father who worked as a merchandizer. He was unmarried, but lived with the mother of his infant daughter., He discussed how having his daughter helped him shift his life in a positive direction, to stop “partying” and to settle his legal troubles “[becoming a father] gave me a reason to stop with all the bull and get my life together.” He continued, “I had some warrants .. and I … finally went to court and got everything situated … So now, I’m back, legit, and I got my license back and everything now.”

Some men felt a need to take fewer risks, and to take better care of themselves so that they would be available for their children. FA97 was a 23 year-old Black father of an infant son, “I’m not taking risks that I would, had I not had a child. I know he’s gonna need me and stuff, so I gotta think about myself in order to think about him, too.”

Witnessing Development

This theme was defined as being rewarded by witnessing any aspect of the child’s physical, cognitive or social development, including the attainment of developmental milestones. Forty-six fathers (38%) spontaneously endorsed this theme. Several fathers expressed fascination with this process. FA5 was a 40 year-old white father of two boys who worked for the federal government, “To me it was really fascinating to see these young babies … suddenly they can open their eyes and look around and focus, and the next day they can smile, and the next day they can sit up on their own … it’s really amazing just to watch through the first 18 months of life.”

FA124 was a 44 year-old Black father of two who described witnessing their development as deeply gratifying, “Just watch them grow, it’s a most beautiful thing you can see. When they take their first step. They cut they first tooth. They say they first word. Aye man, it just make your heart big.”

Child as an Extension of Self

This theme was defined as the father being rewarded by feeling that his children were an extension of himself, either in the present or into the future. This theme was endorsed by 32 fathers (26%). Men expressed this theme in a variety of ways. Some were able to see aspects of themselves in their children. For example, FA77, a 35 year-old white professor and father of two young children, noted “…you see yourself in the children. I’m raising myself … I see time bending back at me, I see, you know, an image of myself when I was a boy, … so you see your ego, you see yourself.” Others described a sense of re-birth through their children. FA29 was a 31 year-old unmarried Black father of two children who worked as a custodian, “Like, anything that I do is for my kids, like they, having them was like me being rebirthed. Like I was reborn twice ….”

Related to the theme of rebirth, several fathers viewed raising a child as an opportunity to “start over” in life. They hoped that their children would lead a better life than they had, or that they would eclipse their own accomplishments. FA25 was a 30 year-old white Ph.D. student and father of two young children, “you do get to kind of live vicariously through, I mean, kids have a clean slate. … They can literally be an astronaut, be the president, you have just got to guide them. It’s just such a wonderful thing. You look at all the mistakes that you’ve made … they can really grow up to be great, great people.” Others echoed this sentiment. FA31, a 28 year-old Black father of three, had his first child at age 19 before he felt ready to be a father. For him, one of the rewards of being a dad was helping his children to, “have a chance to be better, and make better choices than I did.” Similarly, FA21 was a 34 year-old Black father with a 2-year old son who described one of the “biggest rewards” of being a father as, “having a hand in influencing someone that can influence the world. To me that’s amazing, that I may never have this huge impact in the world but he has the potential to.” Similarly, FA35 was a 29 year-old Black father of four children who said, “I want my guys to be better and do bigger things that I did, and … do better and accomplish more goals that I didn’t accomplish because that would make me feel pride as a father.”

Children’s Accomplishments

This theme was defined as witnessing a child’s accomplishments, beyond simple developmental milestones. Perhaps in part because fathers often viewed their children as an extension of themselves or as opportunities to relive, or improve on, their own childhoods, they often reported finding their children’s accomplishments rewarding (n = 32, 26%). Some fathers described this reward in a general fashion. FA36 was a 47 year-old Black father of three whose daughter attended The United States Military Academy at West Point, “Seeing ‘em accomplish something that they were working hard at and really wanted. Those are the some of the best feelings, best rewards you will ever see.” Others discussed their children’s specific achievements. FA35, a 29 year-old Black father of four, focused on his children’s scholarly achievements. “When your kid come, and they be like, ‘Dad I got all A on my report card!’, … that is the most, that’s it right there” For others, it was athletic achievements that they found rewarding. FA29, a 32 year-old Black father of two children, noted, “… it was his first year playing football, he practiced 4 weeks and worked his way up to the starting team and his first game out there he got the interception, oh my god.”

Feeling Loved by Children

This theme was defined as the father feeling that his child loved him. Many fathers (n = 25, 20%) noted that the simple act of being loved brought immense reward. This theme was succinctly stated by FA23, a 30 year-old white father of two boys, “I feel like there’s nothing more rewarding than—it’s just having your child, someone that looks up to you and the love that they show; there’s no way to really describe it. Like there’s nothing that you have that’s comparable.” Others agreed, stating “to be loved by someone I love so much, yeah, that’s, that’s very rewarding” and that this was true even when “I’m not the best dad in the world, but [my children] still love me and that feels good.” (FA56). Not surprisingly then, many fathers mentioned the reward of simply hearing their child say, “I love you” or feeling loved by their child’s actions. Several fathers described the reward they felt when they arrived home from work and their children ran excitedly to greet them. FA12, a 37 year-old physician and father of three, said, “when you open up that door, running up to you and giving you a hug, like there’s no, there’s nothing that I’ve encountered in life that really can replicate that.”

Child’s Appearance and Affective Expressions

This theme was defined as being rewarded by visual cues from the child, including their appearance and their facial expressions of emotion. Several fathers (n = 19, 16%) endorsed this theme as a reward. FA111 was a 56 year-old Asian father of two children who worked as a CPA. Referring to his 5 year old daughter, he said, “when she smiles, you know, this is the whole world to me.” FA71 was a 31 year-old Black graduate student and first-time father of a 3 month-old infant girl. He described a transformation in his feelings for his daughter when she began to smile, “For the first month and a half, she was kind of like, I don’t want to say empty, but there wasn’t much there in her eyes. Like there was nothing behind there … she started smiling a couple of weeks ago. Just makes my heart fall out.”

Teaching Skills, Knowledge and Values

This theme was defined as teaching the child skills, knowledge or values. Many fathers took pleasure in teaching their children (n = 19, 16%). Some emphasized the knowledge that they imparted to their children, while others referred to the values they instilled. FA2, a 35 year-old white father, delighted in successfully teaching his son the difference between left and right, when his son “had it down cold”; “those things are so gratifying.” FA5, a 40 year-old white father, took joy in his ability “to teach and train and meld” his two sons “into the kind of person that I knew they would become.”

Some fathers felt that they could give their child an advantage by passing on their hard-earned knowledge; that their child would not need to learn everything on their own from scratch.

FA37, a 29 year-old Black father of three who worked as a chef said, “…I wanna give him all the keys to everything that I had to figure out through life, through all these different situations … So, I felt like I had a lot to teach them.”

Relationship With the Child’s Mother

This theme was defined as improved quality of the relationship between the father and the child’s mother. Men were specifically asked how having a child influenced their relationship with their child’s mother. Forty-four men (36%) said that it improved aspects of their relationship. Many spoke of the strong sense of partnership it created—“My daughter was the bridge between us” (FA28), “It was the glue. It was the cement that bonded” (FA49)—that they were embarking together on a life project with enormous significance and that they would need to work together. Some men expressed sympathy and appreciation for what their partner had endured during childbirth, as well as increased respect, and this drew them closer. Witnessing childbirth led some fathers to have increased respect for women and their partners in particular. FA76 was a 27 year-old Black father of two young children and an amateur boxer who worked at a gym, “actually being there, seeing my children born … it made me see her (his wife) in a different light. She’s … now I see how powerful a woman is.” FA89 was a 45 year-old Korean father with a 9-year old son who said that before his wife gave birth, he loved her “90%” and respected her “10%,”“but after having a baby…it’s 50/50.”

Rewards Summary Statistics

Fathers mentioned an average of 2.2 total rewards (SD = 1.3). For eight of the nine reward categories, there was no difference among the three ethnic groups in the proportion of fathers who endorsed the reward. Only “viewing the child as an extension of the self” differed by ethnicity, with white fathers (10%) mentioning this reward less often than both Black (39%) and Asian (30%) fathers (p < .05, Supplemental Table 1). For eight of the nine reward categories, there was no difference among the child age groups in the proportion of fathers who endorsed the reward. Only “children’s accomplishments” differed by child age group, with fathers with older children (age groups 3 (36%) and 4 (42%)) mentioning this reward more than those with children in age group 1 (4%) (p < .05, Supplemental Table 2). To assess whether class or SES was associated with endorsement of specific rewards, we compared combined years education between men who did and did not endorse each reward. Fathers who endorsed children’s accomplishments as a reward had lower combined years of education than fathers who did not endorse this reward (t(119) = 2.62, p = .01). Similarly fathers who endorsed feeling loved by their children as a reward had lower combined years of education than fathers who did not endorse this reward (t(119) = 2.20, p = .03). There was no difference in combined years of education between fathers who did and did not endorse the other reward themes (Supplemental Table 3).

Quantitative Predictors of Self-Reported Quality of Family Life

Self-reported quality of family life (10 point Likert-scale) was generally high (M = 8.3, SD = 1.4). We predicted that this variable would be negatively correlated with number of children and number of hours per week at work, since these variables would be expected to increase work-family conflict. While there was no significant correlation between quality of family life and the number of hours per week worked (r = −.05, p = .68), quality of family life was significantly negatively correlated with number of children (r = −.30, p = .01; Figure 1a). We also predicted a positive correlation between amount of sleep and quality of family life, which was confirmed (r = .29, p = .02). Contrary to predictions, the total number of endorsed rewards was not positively correlated with quality of family life (r = .15, p = .20). On the other hand, there was a marginally significant negative correlation between quality of family life and the number of endorsed challenges of fatherhood (r = −.23, p = .05) (Table 2).

Figure 1.

Variables associated with fathers’ self-reported quality of family life. Quality of family life was: (a) negatively associated with number of children, (b) higher in fathers who lived with their children full-time, and (c) lower in fathers reporting financial stress.

Table 2.

Associations Between Quality of Family Life and Continuous Variables.

How happy are you with your family life in general?
	r	p	N
Average hours of work or school per week	−0.05	.68	73
Number of children	−0.30	.01	73
Average hours of sleep per night	.29	.02	70
R-sum	.15	.20	73
C-sum	−0.23	.05	73

Bold indicates that results are significant at p < .05.

As predicted, quality of family life was higher in men who lived with their children full-time versus part-time or not at all (equal variances not assumed; t(22) = 2.54, p = .02; Table 3, Figure 1b). Quality of family life was also significantly impacted by the marital status of the participants. Men who were married to the mother of all of their children were significantly happier with their family life than other participants (equal variances not assumed; t(26) = 2.42, p = .02; Table 3). Also as predicted, men who endorsed financial stress as a challenge reported lower quality family life than men who did not (t(71) = 2.95, p = .004, Table 3, Figure 1c), and the same was true for fathers who endorsed work-family conflict as a challenge (t(71) = 2.16, p = .03, Table 3). On the other hand, fathers who said their relationship with their partner improved after having children reported higher quality of family life (t(71) = 3.19, p = .002, Table 3), as did fathers who endorsed “child as extension of themselves” as a reward of fatherhood (t(71) = 2.17, p = .03, Table 3). Our prediction that quality of family life would be higher for men whose first child was planned (vs. unplanned) was also confirmed (t(71) = 2.90, p = .01, Table 3).

Table 3.

Associations Between Quality of Family Life and Dichotomous Variables.

	Yes		No		Mean difference	t	df	p	Cohen’s d
	Mean	SE	Mean	SE	Mean difference	t	df	p	Cohen’s d
Does the respondent live with his children?	8.6	0.14	7.5	0.42	1.1	2.54	22	.018	0.73
Was the respondent’s first child planned?	8.6	0.18	7.7	0.30	1.0	2.90	71	.005	0.71
Do all the respondent’s children have the same mother?	8.5	0.14	7.0	0.78	1.50	1.89	9	.09	0.81
Is the respondent married to the mother of all of his children?	8.6	0.15	7.6	0.39	1.0	2.4	70	.02	0.68
Did the respondent’s father live with him as a child?	8.6	0.14	7.4	0.63	1.1	1.76	12	.10	0.70
R-Accomplishment	8.0	0.38	8.4	0.18	−0.4	−0.98	71	.33	0.28
R-Mind Off Work	8.5	0.50	8.3	0.17	0.2	0.19	71	.85	0.17
R-Develop	8.3	0.29	8.4	0.19	−0.1	−0.21	71	.83	0.05
R-Partner	8.9	0.17	8.0	0.23	0.9	3.19	71	.002	0.72
R-Teaching	8.4	0.26	8.3	0.18	0.0	0.09	71	.93	0.03
R-Smile	8.1	0.30	8.4	0.19	−0.2	−0.51	71	.61	0.18
R-Love	8.1	0.34	8.4	0.18	−0.2	−0.46	71	.65	0.16
R-Birth	8.3	0.76	8.3	0.17	0.0	0.03	71	.97	0.01
R-Compliment	8.4	0.75	8.3	0.17	0.1	0.09	71	.93	0.04
R-Extension	8.9	0.28	8.1	0.19	0.8	2.17	71	.033	0.57
R-Meaning	8.5	0.43	8.3	0.17	0.2	0.34	71	.74	0.16
C-Work Family	8.0	0.28	8.7	0.17	−0.7	−2.16	71	.034	0.50
C-Partner	8.4	0.26	8.3	0.21	0.1	0.29	71	.77	0.07
C-Sleep	8.3	0.23	8.4	0.23	−0.1	−0.32	71	.75	0.08
C-Crying	8.5	0.32	8.3	0.19	0.2	0.50	71	.62	0.17
C-Financial	7.9	0.24	8.8	0.18	−0.9	−2.95	71	.004	0.71

Bold indicates that results are significant at p < .05.

Changes in Mood and Affective State Across the Interview (PANAS Results)

Pre and post-interview PANAS ratings were compared using paired t tests. Fathers reported significant increases from pre to post interview in several positive affect items, including “excited,”“strong,”“enthusiastic,”“proud,”“inspired,” and “determined.” In addition, they reported significant decreases from pre to post interview in several negative affect items, including “irritable,”“nervous,” and “jittery.” There was no significant change in the remaining items. For comparison, we examined pre to post changes in PANAS ratings from a previous experiment in our lab that involved monetary compensation, but did not involve an interview. This experiment involved imaging brain function with functional MRI while subjects played a dyadic social interaction task (Chen et al., 2016; Feng et al., 2015). In contrast to the current study, participants in our fMRI study reported pre to post experiment decreases in several positive affect items, including “interested,”“excited,”“enthusiastic,”“alert,”“determined,” and “attentive,” as well as significant decreases in several negative affect items, including “scared,”“nervous,”“jittery,” and “afraid” (Figure 2).

Figure 2.

Pre and post study PANAS ratings for: (a) the current study and (b) a previous fMRI study in our lab.

Discussion

Challenges

Provisioning is a cross-culturally consistent responsibility of human fathers, and has likely been so throughout human history (M. J. Konner, 2010). This responsibility was felt acutely by the fathers in our sample, with many men describing significant stress and pressure related to adequately performing this role, especially those who were the sole wage-earner in their family. This may be related to the tendency of American men to endorse ideals of traditional masculinity to a greater extent than men in other Western nations (Gattario et al., 2015; Shafer et al., 2021). Indeed, traditional, hegemonic masculine ideals dictate that fathers should be breadwinners and helpers to primary caregiving mothers. However, many scholars have posited a shift in ideology among Western fathers toward more “caring” or “nurturing” masculinities that emphasize caregiving, father-child relationship quality, positive emotions, and gender equality rather than male dominance (Cherry & Gerstein, 2021; Elliott, 2016; Pleck, 2010a). Attempts to fulfill both traditional and contemporary father roles that encompass both provisioning and caregiving responsibilities has resulted in increased work-family conflict (Aumann et al., 2011; Galinsky et al., 2011; Harrington, 2022; Lewington et al., 2021; Machin, 2015; T. Miller, 2010), another commonly endorsed theme in our study. Several fathers indicated that the demands of work prevented them from spending as much time with their children as desired, and some reported thoughts of work intruding on their time with children. Work-family conflict was associated with lower self-reported quality of family life (Table 3).

Another major challenge frequently cited by fathers was the loss of physical and emotional intimacy with their partners (the child’s mother). This was attributed to insufficient time and energy for spousal interactions after parenting responsibilities had been fulfilled, and to a shift in the focus of their partner’s affection and attention from father to child.

Some parents struggled with sleep deprivation and infant crying, especially during the newborn period when infants would wake frequently throughout the night to feed or be held. Many parents co-slept with the infant, and these fathers seemed to report fewer problems related to infant sleep and crying, which is consistent with the published literature (McKenna & McDade, 2005). A few men described extreme frustration in response to inconsolable infant crying and acknowledged transient, though un-realized, impulses to harm the infant. Inconsolable infant crying is a known trigger for Shaken Baby Syndrome, and men are more often perpetrators than women so these are potentially dangerous impulses (Barr, 2012).

Most of these challenges showed similar distributions across ethnicity, SES, and age of eldest child. However, Black fathers were less likely to report decreased relationship quality with their partners. Black fathers were also less likely to be married to the mother of all of their children (equal variances not assumed; t(55) = −5.40, p < .001), and less likely to have planned their first child (equal variances not assumed; t(68) = −4.20, p < .001). One speculative possibility is that these unmarried couples who had unplanned children had less time to develop a close relationship with their partner before the child was born, and as such experienced less decline in relationship quality across the transition. However, Black fathers also had lower average years education (t(119) = −5.6, p < .001), raising the possibility that lower SES drove this relationship rather than ethnicity. This possibility is supported by the fact that those fathers endorsing decreases in relationship quality had a trend (p < .10) for more years of education on average than those not endorsing this theme (Supplemental Table 3). Another ethnic difference was that Asian fathers were less likely to report financial challenges. Several of the Asian fathers in our sample were immigrants from China who had grown up in, and perhaps adapted to, a lower standard of living in China. This may have led them to experience their current financial situation in the U.S. as relatively good. Finally, infant crying and whining was endorsed more often by fathers of infants than by fathers of older children, as would be expected.

The themes that were identified as challenges in this study echo themes identified in an earlier study of 40 American fathers by Palkovitz (2002). These included the financial obligations of fatherhood, loss of marital intimacy, sleep loss, and work-family conflict. More generally, Palkovitz emphasizes how the diverse demands of involved fatherhood can be at odds with demands of the partner, worker, or community member roles, and that fathers must work to balance these competing, and ever shifting, demands.

Rewards

These challenges of fatherhood were balanced by a number of rewards. Ninety-seven percent of fathers said that having children added meaning to their life. This finding is consistent with previous research showing that parents score higher than nonparents on life-meaning, even though they score lower on affective and life satisfaction measures of well-being (Umberson & Gove, 1989). It is also consistent with recent research showing that becoming a parent increases eudaimonic well-being, which refers to meaning, purpose and self-growth, in both parents. Interestingly, however, increases are reportedly larger in fathers (Brandel et al., 2018). This increase in meaning and purpose may help explain why men continue to have children despite the many challenges it entails (Shenkman & Shmotkin, 2014).

Many men considered their child to be an extension of themselves. They found it gratifying to see some of their own traits in their children, and rewarding to relive aspects of their own childhood through their children. They viewed their child as a legacy that they would leave into the future. They saw their child as a way of “starting over” in life, and they valued the opportunity to assist this younger version of themselves to achieve more than they had. As such, they also took great pleasure in the accomplishments of their children, and the compliments they received about their children.

Many fathers were fascinated by their child’s development and found witnessing this process to be rewarding and satisfying. Physical, psychological and linguistic development were all of great interest.

While many fathers described decreases in relationship satisfaction after having children and this is the predominant theme in the published literature (Twenge et al., 2003), a smaller but significant number of fathers emphasized that their relationship improved after having children, either because both parents were working together toward a common and meaningful goal, or because they developed increased appreciation and respect for their partner after witnessing them overcome the challenges and demands of childbirth and motherhood.

Fathers in our study were rewarded by their child’s smile, laughter, and by their behavioral and verbal expressions of love. Children have likely been designed by evolution to make adults emotionally bond with them and want to care for them. They do this by way of both their appearance and their actions (Hrdy, 2009).

Most of these rewards showed similar distributions across ethnicity, SES and age of eldest child. However, white fathers were less likely to endorse “viewing the child as an extension of the self.” This finding raises the possibility that white fathers are less likely to live vicariously through their children and to consider them as their legacy into the future. Fathers of other ethnicities seemed to experience more hardship throughout their childhood, and believed their children were likely to have a better life and achieve more than they had. This may have led them to emphasize living vicariously through their children as more of a reward. Related to this, fathers who endorsed children’s accomplishments as a reward had lower combined years of education than fathers who did not endorse this reward. Again, this may relate to the perception that their children would have more opportunities to achieve than they did. Finally, children’s accomplishments was endorsed more by fathers with children over the age of 5, suggesting that accomplishments in later developmental stages, such as academic and athletic accomplishments, are more salient to fathers.

As with the challenges, Palkovitz (2002) identified reward themes that overlap significantly with those outlined here. These included the amazement that fathers experience as they watch their children develop, being loved by their children, personal growth, an expanded self, increased life meaning, and, infrequently, an enhanced marriage. Palkovitz studied 40 fathers from the Eastern U.S. nearly two decades ago, 23% of whom were not white fathers. The similarity between our results and those of Palkovitz suggests that the challenges and rewards that men experience as fathers have not changed much in the past two decades, and are consistent across geographic region and ethnicity within the U.S.

Quality of Family Life

Self-reported quality of family life was significantly associated with several variables. Fathers with more children reported lower quality of family life, likely because the demands of parenthood increase with additional children. Fathers who lived with their children full-time reported higher quality of family life than those who did not. For the latter, this probably reflects strained relationships with the child’s mother, as well as challenges in arranging to spend time with the child. In addition, fathers whose first child was planned reported higher quality of family life. We might expect that men who become a father intentionally and deliberately do so because they are amenable to the idea of family life, whereas this may not be true of men with unintended children. Financial stress and work-family conflict were very significant challenges for many men, so it is understandable that both variables were related to decreased quality of family life (Table 3). Unsurprisingly, quality of family life was also positively correlated with hours of sleep. This association might result from parenting challenges interfering with sleep, or from sleep deprivation interfering with the ability to enjoy family life.

Ethnic Group Comparisons

Previous research has described difference in ideals of fatherhood among the three ethnic groups that were the focus of this study. One study of U.S. College students compared Black, white and Asian men’s perceptions of their paternal relationships. The study determined that Black students often valorized their fathers as distant role models of “laid-back” or “cool” masculinity. White students were more likely to describe their fathers as “friends” who they shared activities with and asked for advice. Asian American students were more likely to criticize their fathers for excessive emphasis on breadwinning and lack of intimacy and seemed to embrace norms of more involved fatherhood typically endorsed by white Americans (Ide et al., 2018). Other scholars have suggested that social fatherhood, which includes men who are not biological fathers but who provide significant nurturance, moral guidance and emotional support, is more common in the Black community (Connor & White, 2007). Although the above studies might lead to the expectation that there would be differences in the endorsement of themes across ethnic groups, our study was not specifically designed to expose differences in fatherhood ideology across ethnic groups. Furthermore, these ideals may now be converging, perhaps especially among certain social classes. For example, many of the Asian fathers in our study were immigrants from China, where there has been a redefinition of the fatherhood ideal to include both provisioning (yang) and raising confident, competitive, independent, happy children (jiao) (Cao & Lin, 2019), which is quite similar to modern American ideals of fatherhood. As such, it may less surprising that there was no quantitative difference in the expression of most themes, nor were there obvious qualitative differences in the types of statements that were made. This is evidenced by our ability to extract relevant quotes from each of the ethnic groups for most themes. Thus, our data suggest that many of the challenges and rewards experienced by U.S fathers seem to generalize across class and ethnicity.

Interview-Induced Changes in Mood and Affective State

Men experienced marked increases in positive affect and decreases in negative affect from pre to post interview. Notably, there were no increases in any positive affect items in another study from our lab that also involved financial compensation, but did not involve an interview about fatherhood. Therefore, the increases in positive affect in this study are not likely attributable to financial compensation or generalized social interaction with experimenters. Three positive affect items showing increases in the current study actually showed significant decreases in our comparison study, including “excited,”“enthusiastic” and “determined.” A few men spontaneously offered that they found the interview therapeutic. These findings suggest that men benefit psychologically from having the opportunity to reflect upon and share their experience as a father with an attentive listener.

Limitations

One limitation of our study is the potential for bias in our sample of fathers. Fathers were recruited by posting flyers in and around the Emory University area. Emory University is an expensive private college surrounded by middle-class to affluent neighborhoods, and our sample includes a large number of highly educated fathers. Although the sample also included several lower SES fathers from outside the University community, results may have been different if we had sampled more fathers from other parts of Atlanta. Interested fathers took the initiative to contact study personnel and express interest in the study. This may have biased our sample toward fathers who had more positive experiences with fatherhood and wanted to share those. It also may have biased the sample toward fathers who had more time outside of work and family responsibilities. In addition, since this was a paid study, our sample may have been biased toward fathers who were motivated by financial compensation. As such, our findings may not fully generalize to the population of fathers at large. Another limitation is that all interviews were conducted by the first author, who is a white male. Therefore, only white fathers were interviewed by a member of their own ethnic group. It is possible that Asian and Black fathers felt less comfortable with the interviewer and may have been less candid in revealing their perspective and feelings about fatherhood to him. As a final limitation, we note that the large-scale nature of our study limited our ability to provide detailed qualitative exploration of the meaning of individual participants’ statements in their context.

Summary and Conclusion

Paternal involvement has well-documented benefits for children. However, our study suggests that fatherhood also brings many rewards to fathers themselves, including increased meaning and purpose. In many cases, fatherhood inspires men to become better people and take fewer risks. Therefore, society is likely to benefit in multiple ways from facilitating positive paternal experiences that keep men supportively involved. Our data suggest that this can be accomplished in part by limiting excessive work demands that compete with family time, limiting financial stress, and by devoting effort to sustain physical and emotional intimacy between mothers and fathers in support of a healthy relationship. Work-family conflict could be ameliorated in the infancy period through more generous paternal leave policies. This is particularly important in the U.S. which is an outlier as the only high income country lacking state-supported paternity leave. It is also important to recognize that fathers are more likely to physically abuse infants compared with mothers, and that abuse mostly occurs in response to frustration induce by inconsolable infant crying. It is therefore important that educational programs about Shaken Baby Syndrome be particularly targeted at fathers. Sleep-deprived fathers may be at particular risk since sleep-deprivation can interfere with emotion regulation, further underscoring the need for paternal leave that might allow fathers more opportunities to sleep throughout the day. At later ages, work-family conflict could be further ameliorated by companies permitting shorter work weeks. Financial stress can be limited by programs that provide fathers with employment opportunities. Most fathers consider provisioning their primary paternal responsibility, and will embrace the opportunity to do so when given the opportunity. Finally, couples could be better educated about the risk that having children poses to their marital relationship and the need to invest in sustaining some level of intimacy to preserve a healthy relationship.

Supplemental Material

sj-doc-1-sgo-10.1177_21582440231193939 – Supplemental material for A Mixed Methods Study of the Challenges and Rewards of Fatherhood in a Diverse Sample of U.S. Fathers

Supplemental material, sj-doc-1-sgo-10.1177_21582440231193939 for A Mixed Methods Study of the Challenges and Rewards of Fatherhood in a Diverse Sample of U.S. Fathers by James K. Rilling and Craig Hadley in SAGE Open

Supplemental Material

sj-docx-2-sgo-10.1177_21582440231193939 – Supplemental material for A Mixed Methods Study of the Challenges and Rewards of Fatherhood in a Diverse Sample of U.S. Fathers

Supplemental material, sj-docx-2-sgo-10.1177_21582440231193939 for A Mixed Methods Study of the Challenges and Rewards of Fatherhood in a Diverse Sample of U.S. Fathers by James K. Rilling and Craig Hadley in SAGE Open

Supplemental Material

sj-docx-3-sgo-10.1177_21582440231193939 – Supplemental material for A Mixed Methods Study of the Challenges and Rewards of Fatherhood in a Diverse Sample of U.S. Fathers

Supplemental material, sj-docx-3-sgo-10.1177_21582440231193939 for A Mixed Methods Study of the Challenges and Rewards of Fatherhood in a Diverse Sample of U.S. Fathers by James K. Rilling and Craig Hadley in SAGE Open

Supplemental Material

sj-docx-4-sgo-10.1177_21582440231193939 – Supplemental material for A Mixed Methods Study of the Challenges and Rewards of Fatherhood in a Diverse Sample of U.S. Fathers

Supplemental material, sj-docx-4-sgo-10.1177_21582440231193939 for A Mixed Methods Study of the Challenges and Rewards of Fatherhood in a Diverse Sample of U.S. Fathers by James K. Rilling and Craig Hadley in SAGE Open

Supplemental Material

sj-docx-5-sgo-10.1177_21582440231193939 – Supplemental material for A Mixed Methods Study of the Challenges and Rewards of Fatherhood in a Diverse Sample of U.S. Fathers

Supplemental material, sj-docx-5-sgo-10.1177_21582440231193939 for A Mixed Methods Study of the Challenges and Rewards of Fatherhood in a Diverse Sample of U.S. Fathers by James K. Rilling and Craig Hadley in SAGE Open

Footnotes

Declaration of Conflicting Interests

The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Funding

The author(s) disclosed receipt of the following financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article: This study was supported by a grant from the Emory College Program to Enhance Research and Scholarship (PERS)

ORCID iD

James K. Rilling

Supplemental Material

Supplemental material for this article is available online.

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