Abstract
This study examined the similarity of partners’ event perceptions of a major life event (i.e., moving in together as a couple) and how similarity relates to relationship satisfaction. Considering event perceptions from multiple individuals can enhance knowledge of the event itself and the relationship dynamics in which it occurs. Using multilevel models, we analyzed data from N = 400 participants (200 couples), who provided self- and partner-reported multidimensional event perceptions and ratings of relationship satisfaction at two assessments. First, we found evidence for similarity of self-reports and similarity of self- and partner reports between partners—higher than in random couples or due to normativeness. Second, higher similarity was related to higher relationship satisfaction. Third, similarity did not increase over time, and fourth, similarity did not co-develop with relationship satisfaction. Similarity of self-reports appears to be most relevant for relationship satisfaction, informing future research and potential intervention programs with couples.
Keywords
Moving in together with a romantic partner is an example of a major life event or transition that, by definition, both partners experience together. In some couples, both partners perceive this transition as largely positive and predictable—their perceptions align closely. In other couples, perceptions differ substantially: One partner might have eagerly anticipated and planned the move, leading to a highly positive and predictable experience, whereas the other partner might have hesitated giving up their own space and, therefore, perceives the move as stressful and uncertain. Such differences in partners’ perceptions of shared events could cause conflicts (e.g., when recounting the experience with others), whereas similar perceptions may foster a sense of shared reality (Echterhoff et al., 2009; Hardin & Higgins, 1996), which might benefit relationship quality. Beyond each individual’s experience of the event (self-report), it may also matter how romantic partners construe each other’s event perceptions (partner report) and how similar these perceptions are, since similarity is linked to intimacy and relationship satisfaction (Luo & Snider, 2009; Swann et al., 1994). Moreover, similarity of event perceptions, defined as the overlap between partners’ event perceptions, may develop over time when partners gradually adapt their perceptions.
These considerations raise important questions about the role of event perceptions in close relationships: First, how similar are partners in their multidimensional perceptions of a shared major life event? Second, how does similarity between partners’ perceptions change across 6 months? Third, is greater similarity in event perceptions associated with higher relationship satisfaction? And finally, do similarity and relationship satisfaction co-develop across 6 months? This study addresses these questions for the major life event “moving in together” in a sample of romantic couples. Romantic partners rated their event perception (self-report) and how they believed their partner perceived this event (partner report) on nine dimensions using the Event Characteristic Questionnaire (ECQ; Luhmann et al., 2021) at two assessments 6 months apart. Moving in together has been scarcely studied compared to other relationship events, such as marriage, yet it is often one of the earliest major transitions couples experience together and can influence future relationship quality (Rhoades et al., 2012) and later events such as parenthood.
Perceptions of Major Life Events
When studying major life events, it is important to consider not only their occurrence but also how individuals perceive these events (e.g., Buecker et al., 2021; Haehner et al., 2022; Luhmann et al., 2021; Rakhshani et al., 2022). Individuals can experience the same major life event very differently (Dohrenwend, 2006; Luhmann et al., 2021; Sarason et al., 1978). Moreover, the perception of the same event may change over time. For example, moving in together might initially feel exciting, but stressful later. Although findings suggest that event perceptions are relatively stable (Haehner et al., 2022), it remains unclear how romantic partners’ perceptions of shared events develop over time—whether they become more or less aligned. Empirical findings further highlight the relevance of subjective perceptions of major life events when predicting changes in outcomes such as depression (Sarason et al., 1978), well-being (Luhmann et al., 2021), or personality development (Schwaba et al., 2023).
Despite the social nature of many major life events such as parenthood or divorce, previous research has focused on the individual level (e.g., Luciano & Orth, 2017; Specht et al., 2011). Still, considering the subjective perceptions of multiple individuals who jointly experienced an event—such as romantic partners—could enhance the understanding of the event itself, as well as the dynamics of the relationship in which it occurs. For instance, the similarity of self- and informant perceptions across various events (e.g., graduation or the death of a loved one) within close dyads such as friends or family members has been examined (Fliedner & Horstmann, 2025). Results showed that dyads differed in their level of similarity and that these differences were partly due to whether they talked about the event. In addition, similarity in situation perception predicted higher relationship satisfaction in romantic couples (Rentzsch et al., 2022).
Similarity of Event Perceptions in Close Relationships
Event perception in dyads can be studied from at least two perspectives: By assessing self-reports (i.e., asking participants how they perceived the event themselves) and by assessing partner reports (i.e., asking participants how they think that their partner perceived the event). Analyzing the similarity between these reports can provide unique insights into outcomes relevant to the dyad, such as relationship satisfaction (e.g., Hudson & Fraley, 2014). Throughout this manuscript, we use the terminology outlined in Figure 1 to refer to the different similarity indices. This study focuses on self-report similarity (Figure 1, Path A) and self-partner agreement (Path B). In addition, perceived similarity (Path C) was included, as this index has been shown to be relevant in the context of personality similarity (e.g., Tidwell et al., 2013). For completeness, we report the results for partner report similarity (Path D) in the Supplemental Materials.

Similarity indices of event perception profile
Self-Report Similarity
Most similarity research has focused on self-report similarity as an indicator of similarity (From et al., 2025), examining whether individuals in close relationships report similar characteristics, such as personality traits, and if this similarity relates to relationship quality. Romantic partners tend to show high similarity in demographic characteristics like age or education, as well as personal attitudes (e.g., Feng & Baker, 1994; George et al., 2015; Leikas et al., 2018; Luo & Klohnen, 2005; Watson et al., 2004). By comparison, similarity in self-reported personality traits is typically small to modest (e.g., Feng & Baker, 1994; Gattis et al., 2004; Leikas et al., 2018; Lewis & Yoneda, 2021; van Scheppingen et al., 2025), with some studies reporting effects no greater than those found in randomly matched couples (Gonzaga et al., 2007; Klohnen & Mendelsohn, 1998; Luo & Klohnen, 2005).
Furthermore, some evidence suggests that higher similarity of self-reported personality between romantic partners is linked to beneficial outcomes, including higher relationship quality (Decuyper et al., 2012; Gaunt, 2006; Gonzaga et al., 2007; Luo & Klohnen, 2005; Russell & Wells, 1991; in contrast to Weidmann et al., 2023), well-being (Chopik & Lucas, 2019), and perceived support (Lewis & Yoneda, 2021; van Scheppingen et al., 2019). Importantly, some studies found that similarity explains differences in outcomes after controlling for the individual self-ratings of partners (Arránz Becker, 2013; Barelds, 2005; Chopik & Lucas, 2019; Decuyper et al., 2012; Dyrenforth et al., 2010; Luo et al., 2008; van Scheppingen et al., 2019; Wu et al., 2020; in contrast to Brauer et al., 2022; Robins et al., 2000; Weidmann et al., 2017). While most research focuses on personality traits, researchers argued that situation perception—and possibly also event perception—may rely on similar mechanisms as person perception (e.g., Nystedt, 1972; Rauthmann et al., 2014).
Self-Partner Agreement
Besides research on self-report similarity within close relationships, personality psychology has long examined the association of self- and informant reports between individuals (i.e., self-partner agreement). Within this literature, self-partner agreement is typically interpreted as one indicator of accuracy, alongside other benchmarks such as consensus (i.e., the similarity of informant reports across different informants) or correspondence with behavioral measures (e.g., Biesanz, 2010; Funder, 1995). Findings indicate that individuals have insight into their close others’ self-perceived personality (Biesanz et al., 2007; Furler et al., 2014; Lenhausen et al., 2021; Schaffhuser et al., 2014; Vazire, 2006; Watson et al., 2000) and their perceptions of major life events (Fliedner & Horstmann, 2025)—even when those events were not jointly experienced. Like self-report similarity, some findings suggest that higher self-partner agreement is related to positive outcomes, including relationship satisfaction (Decuyper et al., 2012; Letzring & Noftle, 2010; Luo & Snider, 2009), life satisfaction (Moore et al., 2017), and feelings of intimacy (Swann et al., 1994).
Perceived Similarity
In addition to similarity between partners, similarity within individuals—or the extent to which a person believes their partner shares similar views or characteristics (i.e., perceived similarity)—is important. Perceived similarity is linked to outcomes such as attraction (Tidwell et al., 2013) and relationship satisfaction in both romantic relationships and friendships (Decuyper et al., 2012; Furler et al., 2014; Murray et al., 2002). Notably, perceived similarity can exceed self-report similarity (e.g., Byrne & Blaylock, 1963) and may better predict certain outcomes, like attraction (Tidwell et al., 2013). Although self-report similarity and perceived similarity are positively correlated, both can show unique associations with relationship outcomes when considered simultaneously (Hudson & Fraley, 2014; Klohnen & Luo, 2003).
Why Does Similarity Occur in Close Relationships?
Researchers typically differentiate between two sources of similarity in close relationships: assortative mating—the tendency for individuals to engage in social relationships with those who share similar characteristics (Buss, 1985)—and convergence, becoming more similar over time (Gonzaga et al., 2007). Evidence suggests that similarity in personality, values, or attitudes is rather a consequence of initial assortment rather than convergence (Luo, 2017; van Scheppingen et al., 2025), though individuals show convergence in their emotional experience and expression (Anderson et al., 2003).
Various psychological theories, such as Balance Theory (Heider, 1958; Newcomb, 1968) or Shared Reality Theory (Echterhoff et al., 2009; Hardin & Higgins, 1996), offer insights into why similarity may develop in relationships. The more recent Shared Reality Theory posits that individuals strive to create shared inner states—such as feelings or thoughts—about a target (e.g., a person or an event) with others to gain confidence in their perceptions (epistemic motive) and to strengthen social connection (relational motive). Consistent with this theory, individuals who experience a stronger sense of shared reality feel more connected and have increased confidence in their perceptions (Rossignac-Milon et al., 2021). Applied to the perception of major life events, individuals should be motivated to achieve both a shared reality of the event itself (i.e., self-report similarity) and of how one partner perceived the event (i.e., self-partner agreement). We examined these processes through longitudinal analyses of event perceptions and relationship satisfaction. Notably, Shared Reality Theory speaks to similarity at a more abstract, subjective level rather than directly addressing overlap in detailed perception profiles. Nevertheless, individuals’ subjective impressions of being similar to another are positively related to profile similarity (e.g., Wortman et al., 2014).
Beyond these specific theoretical explanations, a more general reason for observed similarity may be normativeness, defined as the association between an individual profile and the average profile of the reference group (Furr, 2008). For example, if both partners rate moving in together as highly emotional, their agreement might reflect a shared normative belief that this event should be highly emotional, rather than from genuine shared perceptions. However, findings suggest that even after controlling for normativeness, substantial couple-specific similarity remains (e.g., Fliedner & Horstmann, 2025; Wu et al., 2020).
The Present Study
This study aims to extend previous findings regarding similarity of event perceptions in close dyads (Fliedner & Horstmann, 2025) by (a) considering not only self-partner agreement but also self-report similarity and perceived similarity, (b) examining their associations with relationship satisfaction, and (c) investigating their co-development with relationship satisfaction across 6 months. By focusing on a specific shared major life event (i.e., moving in as a couple), variability due to different event types is minimized. In a multimethod assessment, both partners provided self- and partner reports, enabling direct comparisons of different similarity indices. Moreover, this study adopts a profile-centered approach, as partners’ shared meaning-making of an event as a whole may be more informative for studying similarity than isolated event aspects or characteristics. Consistent with this reasoning, profile-based similarity tends to be a better predictor of relationship satisfaction than variable-centered similarity (Gaunt, 2006; Luo et al., 2008; Luo & Klohnen, 2005).
Drawing on prior empirical evidence of similarity, particularly research on similarity in event and situation perceptions (Fliedner & Horstmann, 2025; Rentzsch et al., 2022), we expected partners to show similarity in event perceptions (Table 1, H1a–H1b). Based on findings linking similarity to positive relationship outcomes (e.g., Luo & Watson, 2021; Rentzsch et al., 2021) and on Shared Reality Theory (Echterhoff et al., 2009; Hardin & Higgins, 1996), why such similarity may be beneficial, we also predicted a positive association between similarity and relationship satisfaction (H2a–H2b). These hypotheses (H1a–H2b) concern between-couple differences at a single assessment, whereas the remaining hypotheses (H3a–H4b) address intra-couple changes across 6 months. We further expected that similarity would increase from the first to the second assessment (H3a–H3b), as partners have more time to discuss the event, and verbal exchange has been linked to higher similarity in event perceptions (Fliedner & Horstmann, 2025).
Hypotheses Regarding Similarity of Event Perceptions in Romantic Couples.
Note. Hypotheses 1a to 2b were tested separately for the first assessment (T1) and the second assessment 6 months later (T2). In addition to the examination of the hypotheses for self-report similarity (Path A) and self-partner agreement (Path B), the same hypotheses were additionally examined for perceived similarity (Path C) and similarity of partner reports (Path D), which were preregistered later. Please note that we deviate from the preregistration by using the term similarity rather than convergence to describe the overlap of event perception profiles. This adjustment was made to clearly distinguish static overlap (similarity) from longitudinal increases in overlap (i.e., convergence over time; Gonzaga et al., 2007), and thereby avoid terminological ambiguity.
To rule out that similarity simply reflects normativeness (Furr, 2008), all hypotheses were also tested using distinctive perception profiles, controlling for normativeness. Focusing on one specific major life event—moving in together with your partner—allowed us to control for an event-specific normativeness, providing a more conservative test than prior work using a general normativeness across different events (Fliedner & Horstmann, 2025).
Method
This study analyzed data that have been assessed within the CoUple’s Personality In Daily Life (CUPID) study, a larger project examining personality–relationship dynamics. However, the data on the perceived event characteristics have not yet been analyzed.
Transparency and Openness
An overview of the variables assessed in the CUPID project is available on the Open Science Framework (OSF): https://osf.io/bfkta/overview. This study’s first author, who performed the analyses, gained access to the data only after preregistering hypotheses and the analysis plan. Additional analyses, informed by the revision of a project using a similar multilevel approach, were preregistered subsequently. All analysis preregistrations and R scripts are available at https://osf.io/mak5u. Due to the unique nature of the sample—couples who recently moved in together—data are not public to maintain confidentiality but can be requested from the first author.
Sample and Exclusions
For this study, we analyzed all available data of perceived event characteristics collected within the CUPID project, which aimed to recruit at least 210 opposite-sex couples who were in a relationship for at least 3 months and who had recently moved in together. The initial dataset included N = 415 participants. As preregistered, only couples with data from both partners were retained, yielding a final sample of N = 400 participants (200 couples; age: M = 25.63 years, SD = 2.15; Supplemental Tables S1–S3 include detailed sample characteristics) at the first assessment. Most participants were students or trainees (93.8%), in unmarried partnerships (94.2%), and had been cohabiting for less than 4 weeks (78.3%). At the second assessment, the sample shrank to N = 286 participants (143 couples), corresponding to an attrition rate of 28.5%. Participants who discontinued the study reported lower relationship satisfaction on average, but attrition was unrelated to similarity (Supplemental Tables S4 and S5).
Measures
Measures were assessed at baseline (T1) and 6 months later (T2). Table 2 summarizes the measures used in this study, with further details, including scale reliabilities, provided in Supplemental Tables S6–S9.
Measures Used in This Study.
Note. All measures were assessed in the German language.
The respective original item of the ECQ (Luhmann et al., 2021) is “The event was positive.”
Data Analysis
Data analyses were performed with R Studio (R Core Team, 2022), using the psych (Revelle, 2023), lme4 (Bates et al., 2015), and lmerTest (Kuznetsova et al., 2017) packages.
Multilevel Models
We estimated various multilevel models to analyze similarity in partners’ event perception profiles and its association with relationship satisfaction. Due to the nested data structure—self- and partner reports nested within one partner, two partners nested within one dyad at each assessment—multilevel models were appropriate (see Table 3 for model specification).
Overview of Multilevel Models Testing Similarity of Event Perceptions and Their Interactions.
Note. Event perceptions were assessed with the ECQ (Luhmann et al., 2021). Detailed model specifications are available in the preregistration or HTML file on OSF. For each hypothesis, we estimated (a) a model without predictors, (b) a model incorporating fixed effects for the predictor variables, and (c) a model with random effects for these predictors. Competing models were compared using the anova function from the R base package (R Core Team, 2022) to identify the best-fitting model. If convergence issues occurred, the number of iterations was increased, and a more parsimonious model was chosen if the problem persisted. Separate models were estimated for each assessment for H1a–H2b. Following Kenny et al. (2006), we combined dyad number and assessment into one nesting variable for analyses across both assessments (for H3a–H4b), yielding a two-level instead of a three-level structure.
To test whether similarity reflected more than normative agreement, we repeated all analyses using distinctive profiles (Furr, 2008), estimated by grand-mean centering each of the 18 ECQ items. For instance, the average self-reported ECQ item 1 at T1 was subtracted from each individual’s self-reported ECQ item 1 at T1. Moreover, all analyses were conducted separately for each of the nine ECQ dimensions. For example, one partner’s self-reported valence score was predicted by the other partner’s self-reported valence score.
As an addendum to the original preregistration, further analyses were preregistered and conducted: First, regression coefficients were compared with those from randomly matched dyads (Supplemental Table S10). Second, correlation coefficients were estimated (Supplemental Table S11). Third, normativeness was assessed across report types (self- and partner reports) and assessments (T1 and T2; Supplemental Table S12). Fourth, hypotheses were re-examined using regression models that simultaneously predict the overall profile from normative and distinctive profiles (Supplemental Table S13). Finally, we additionally examined perceived similarity as an indicator of similarity.
Exploratory Analyses
After completing the preregistered analyses, additional exploratory analyses were conducted, including (a) an attrition analysis examining dropout of couples from the first to the second assessment (Supplemental Tables S4 and S5), (b) an analysis of the cross-lagged association of similarity and relationship satisfaction (Supplemental Table S14), (c) regression analyses incorporating all three similarity indices to examine their unique contributions (Supplemental Table S15), and (d) an analysis controlling for perceived valence when examining the association of similarity and relationship satisfaction (Supplemental Table S16). As suggested by a reviewer, we additionally (e) investigated whether time since event occurrence moderated similarity (Supplemental Tables S17 and S18), (f) controlled for main effects of both event perception profiles when predicting relationship satisfaction (Supplemental Table S19), and (g) conducted robustness checks comparing models with and without random slopes, since simpler models were used when convergence issues occurred (Supplemental Tables S20–S23).
Results
Research Question 1: Similarity Between Partners’ Event Perceptions
Supporting Hypotheses 1a to 1b, both overall and distinctive profiles were significantly and positively associated (Table 4). Regarding the separate analyses of the nine ECQ characteristics (Supplemental Tables S24–S27), self-report similarity was significant and positive for challenge, external control, predictability, and social status change—but not for emotional significance, extraordinariness, and impact. Self-report similarity in change in world views was only significant at the first assessment, whereas valence was only significant at the second assessment. For self-partner agreement, all characteristics except external control were significantly and positively associated.
Similarity of Event Perception Profiles.
Note. Significant effects at a preregistered alpha level of α = .05 are shown in bold. “T1” refers to the first assessment and “T2” to the second assessment. B denotes the unstandardized multilevel regression coefficient (see Method section for details). Further details on this analysis, including R code and additional effects (e.g., fixed effect of intercept), can be found in the HTML file on OSF. Please see Table S28 in the Supplemental Materials for the results regarding partner report similarity for Research Questions 1 to 4.
A model with two nesting variables encountered difficulties with singularity. Therefore, a simpler model containing only one nesting variable (controlling for the items nested within one individual) instead of two nesting variables was chosen.
Research Question 2: Similarity and Relationship Satisfaction
As shown in Table 5, similarity was positively related to relationship satisfaction for all similarity indices for the overall profiles (see also Figure 2), but unrelated to the distinctive profiles—thereby partially confirming Hypotheses 2a to 2b.
Similarity of Event Perception Profiles and Relationship Satisfaction.
Note. Significant effects at a preregistered alpha level of α = .05 are shown in bold. “T1” refers to the first assessment and “T2” to the second assessment. B denotes the unstandardized multilevel regression coefficient (see Method section for details). Further details on this analysis, including R code and additional effects (e.g., fixed effect of intercept or main effect for relationship satisfaction), can be found in the HTML file on OSF.
A model with two nesting variables encountered difficulties with singularity. Therefore, a simpler model containing only one nesting variable (controlling for the items nested within one individual) instead of two nesting variables was chosen. bA model with a random slope encountered difficulties with singularity. Therefore, a simpler model containing only a random intercept was chosen.

Similarity of overall event perceptions and relationship satisfaction
Research Questions 3 and 4: Similarity Across 6 Months and Co-Development With Relationship Satisfaction
Contrary to Hypotheses 3a to 4b, neither overall nor distinctive similarity increased from the first to the second assessment (Table 6) nor generally co-developed with relationship satisfaction (Table 7).
Similarity of Event Perception Profiles and Interaction With Assessment Timepoint.
Note. “T1” refers to the first assessment and “T2” to the second assessment. B denotes the unstandardized multilevel regression coefficient (see Method section for details). Further details on this analysis, including R code and additional effects (e.g., fixed effect of intercept), can be found in the HTML file on OSF.
A model with two nesting variables encountered difficulties with singularity. Therefore, a simpler model containing only one nesting variable (controlling for the items nested within one individual) instead of two nesting variables was chosen.
Similarity of Event Perception Profiles and Interaction With Relationship Satisfaction and Assessment Timepoint.
Note. Significant effects at a preregistered alpha level of α = .05 are shown in bold. “T1” refers to the first assessment and “T2” to the second assessment. B denotes the unstandardized multilevel regression coefficient (see Method section for details). Further details on this analysis, including R code and additional effects (e.g., fixed effect of intercept or the main effects of the predictors), can be found in the HTML file on OSF.
A model with two nesting variables encountered difficulties with singularity. Therefore, a simpler model containing only one nesting variable (controlling for the items nested within one individual) instead of two nesting variables was chosen.
Discussion
This study examined whether partners’ multidimensional event perceptions of a shared major life event—moving in together as a couple—align, how this similarity changes over 6 months, whether it relates to relationship satisfaction, and how both constructs co-develop. We analyzed data from 200 heterosexual romantic couples (N = 400 participants), who reported on their event perception (self-report), how they thought their partner perceived the event (partner report), and their relationship satisfaction at two assessments 6 months apart. As predicted, partners’ self-perceptions—as well as self- and partner perceptions between partners—were more similar than in random couples or based on normativeness. Greater similarity in event perception profiles was also related to higher relationship satisfaction. However, similarity of event perceptions did not increase from the first to the second assessment or co-develop with relationship satisfaction. Similar results emerged for the similarity of self- and partner reports within individual partners. These findings underscore the value of examining multiple perceptions of shared major life events.
Do Partners Align in Their Event Perceptions?
As predicted, romantic partners had a similar general perception of the event of moving in together across different aspects of the event (Figure 1, Path A), and romantic partners had general insights into how their partner perceived that event (Figure 1, Path B). Importantly, this similarity exceeded that of randomly paired dyads, indicating that the observed alignment reflected meaningful interpersonal similarity rather than methodological artifacts. These findings support the Shared Reality Theory (Echterhoff et al., 2009; Hardin & Higgins, 1996), suggesting that couples create a shared reality in their event perceptions.
Notably, couples aligned not only in the event aspects commonly shared across individuals (i.e., normative aspects) but also in their idiosyncratic experiences, as indicated by the substantial distinctive similarity. These results extend previous findings (Fliedner & Horstmann, 2025) by showing that there is also distinctive similarity in self-reported perceptions and that the effects are robust when controlling for event-specific normativeness (e.g., moving in tends to be perceived positively across individuals).
In addition, individuals tend to rate their partner’s perception similar to their own—an extension of previous research on perceived similarity (e.g., Byrne & Blaylock, 1963; Furler et al., 2014; Hudson & Fraley, 2014) from person to event perception (Figure 1, Path C). Notably, all similarity indices were significant in a joint model, suggesting that they hold unique information about event perceptions in dyads (Supplemental Table S15).
Is the Similarity of Event Perceptions Related to Relationship Satisfaction?
As expected, partners were more satisfied with their relationships when they perceived the event more similarly (Figure 1, Path A) and when they had a good sense of how their partner perceived the event (Figure 1, Path B). This finding aligns with previous findings on situation perception and relationship satisfaction (Rentzsch et al., 2022) and suggests that similarity in event perceptions is a useful construct itself, as it is associated with relevant outcomes. Similarly, perceiving the event more in line with how one believed their partner perceived it (Figure 1, Path C) was related to greater relationship satisfaction. Given the generally high relationship satisfaction among couples, these effects may be estimated conservatively due to restricted variance. However, the link between similarity and relationship satisfaction did not hold for the distinctive profiles, except for one effect using an alternative analytical approach (Supplemental Table S13). This suggests that alignment in normative or culturally shared event aspects may be more consequential for relationship satisfaction than alignment in distinctive or unique perceptions.
Importantly, only higher similarity of self-reported event perception was uniquely (i.e., when controlling for the other similarity indices and their association with relationship satisfaction) related to higher relationship satisfaction at both assessments (Supplemental Table S15). Prior research on personality found that perceiving one’s partner as similar to oneself is typically a stronger predictor of outcomes (i.e., perceived similarity; e.g., Hudson & Fraley, 2014; Klohnen & Luo, 2003; Tidwell et al., 2013). For major life events, however, perceiving events similar to one’s partner (i.e., self-report similarity) seems most relevant, suggesting that shared meaning-making of joint experiences may play a critical role in relationship functioning.
Does the Similarity of Event Perceptions Change Across 6 Months?
Contrary to our hypotheses, partners did neither become more similar in their self-reports (Figure 1, Path A) nor did self- and partner-reported event perception (Figure 1, Path B) converge more over 6 months, supporting findings that event perceptions are relatively stable (Haehner et al., 2022). Moreover, personality similarity tends to precede, rather than result from, friendship formation (Bahns et al., 2017). Similarly, it could be that individuals tend to engage in relationships with individuals who perceive their environment, including major life events, in a similar manner—consistent with assortative mating (Buss, 1985) rather than convergence (Gonzaga et al., 2007).
Although most couples had moved in within the past month, convergence may have occurred even earlier. Partners may have discussed the event shortly after it occurred, potentially leading to a higher similarity of their reports (Fliedner & Horstmann, 2025). Testing this possibility would require assessing data on the day of and surrounding the event, using higher-frequency measurements. Consistent with this possibility, additional analyses examining differences of a few weeks in time since the event suggested that similarity may reorganize over time, with greater time since occurrence linked to lower overall similarity in self-reports but higher distinctive similarity in self- and partner reports (Supplemental Table S17). However, the latter finding was not robust in an alternative analytical approach (Supplemental Table S18).
Do Similarity and Relationship Satisfaction Co-Develop Across 6 Months?
Contrary to our hypothesis, changes in the similarity of event perception profiles were not accompanied by changes in relationship satisfaction. However, it remains possible that changes in similarity occurred before our first measurement point (up to 4 weeks after the event for most couples), potentially alongside changes in relationship satisfaction.
An alternative explanation could be selective attrition, where couples with lower levels of similarity and relationship satisfaction dropped out. However, while lower relationship satisfaction predicted dropout, similarity did not (Supplemental Tables S4 and S5), suggesting that attrition alone does not explain these null findings. Nonetheless, the longitudinal results still overrepresent more satisfied couples, and the development of similarity among those who dropped out remains unclear.
Limitations
One limitation of this study is the lack of relationship-satisfaction data prior to the event. It is possible that couples who were already less satisfied with their relationship differed more strongly in their perceptions. Future research should incorporate pre-event measures of relationship satisfaction to clarify whether satisfaction drives similarity in event perceptions or vice versa—an important distinction with both theoretical and practical implications, such as for interventions in couple therapy.
A second limitation concerns the wording of two partner report items on external control, which did not clearly reflect the partner’s perception (e.g., “The move in was caused by my partner. [reversed]” instead of “My partner thought that he or she caused the move in. [reversed]”). This may explain why external control was the only characteristic with a negative self-partner association. The effect seemed driven by low variance in the two self-reported external control items (e.g., “The move in with the partner was caused by other people. [not reversed]”), which may not have captured the intended construct well, since the event of moving in is typically caused by both partners themselves rather than by external causes. Nevertheless, excluding the two external control items did not change the overall results.
This study examined one specific shared major life event within romantic relationships. While findings may generalize to other major life events (see Fliedner & Horstmann, 2025) or relationship types (see e.g., Bahns et al., 2017 for personality similarity in friendships), this remains to be tested. Some events, like childbirth, may evoke more divergent perceptions between partners than moving in together, as only one partner undergoes the physical demands of giving birth. However, research (Fliedner & Horstmann, 2025) and theory (Echterhoff et al., 2009; Hardin & Higgins, 1996) suggest that similarity may also emerge for events experienced by only one partner. Future studies should test whether the present findings on similarity of event perceptions differ between shared and non-shared events and across event or relationship types.
Implications
While prior research highlighted the value of subjective event perceptions over checklist approaches (e.g., Luhmann et al., 2021), this study further extends those findings by showing that a dyadic approach—assessing self- and partner-reported event perceptions and their similarity—is useful for studying major life events and social relationships. All similarity indices were linked to relationship satisfaction, demonstrating that subjective perceptions of major life events matter. However, in combined models, only partners’ similarity in self-reported event perceptions (Figure 1, Path A) was consistently related to relationship satisfaction (Supplemental Table S15), highlighting the usefulness of considering multiple similarity indices simultaneously. The relevance of the specific similarity index may depend on the studied construct: While perceived similarity (Figure 1, Path C) of personality traits seems more important for attraction or satisfaction (e.g., Hudson & Fraley, 2014; Tidwell et al., 2013), self-report similarity (Figure 1, Path A) seems more relevant in the context of major life events (and potentially other experiences such as situations or daily events).
The next step is to better understand why similarity in perceptions is beneficial in relationships. Proposed mechanisms linking similarity and relationship outcomes include fewer conflicts and feelings of safety or familiarity (e.g., Brauer et al., 2022; Luo et al., 2008). Empirical work showed that similarity is associated with reduced tension or conflicts (Acitelli et al., 2001). Moreover, feeling validated mediated the link between attitude similarity and attraction (Singh et al., 2017). Finally, similarity in emotional experiences mediated the link between personality similarity and relationship satisfaction (Gonzaga et al., 2007). Future research could examine similarity in perceptions of shared daily events, which occur more frequently than major life events (Haehner et al., 2024) and may better capture short-term processes—such as conflict dynamics—through which similarity might influence relationship quality.
Regarding major life events, perceiving events similarly across both partners was most strongly associated with relationship satisfaction. Assuming a hypothetical causal link from similarity to satisfaction, interventions aiming to strengthen interpersonal connections—such as in couple therapy or workplace settings—may benefit more by fostering shared event perceptions than by focusing on detailed mutual understanding of each individual’s perception. Beyond dyadic outcomes, assessing event perceptions from multiple individuals who jointly experienced an event may provide a more accurate picture of the event itself (see approximation corollary; Rauthmann et al., 2015), thereby improving predictions of individual changes—such as personality change—following major life events.
Conclusion
This study advances understanding of how romantic partners’ shared multidimensional perceptions of the major life event “moving in together” relate to their relationship dynamics. Partners’ event perceptions aligned, and this similarity was related to higher relationship satisfaction—highlighting the relevance of considering the perception of both (or potentially even more) individuals who jointly experienced a major life event. Moreover, partners also aligned in their unique event perceptions, showing that similarity extends normative aspects. The findings also suggest that event perceptions and their similarity can provide valuable insights for other areas of psychology, such as research on attraction and relationship satisfaction, and potentially also clinical psychology. Future work should explore the (causal) processes underlying the emergence of the similarity of major life events.
Supplemental Material
sj-docx-1-spp-10.1177_19485506261445677 – Supplemental material for Similarity of Major Life-Event Perceptions and Relationship Satisfaction Among Romantic Couples: The Case of Moving in Together
Supplemental material, sj-docx-1-spp-10.1177_19485506261445677 for Similarity of Major Life-Event Perceptions and Relationship Satisfaction Among Romantic Couples: The Case of Moving in Together by Karla Fliedner, Janina Larissa Bühler, Cornelia Wrzus, Louisa Scheling and Kai T. Horstmann in Social Psychological and Personality Science
Footnotes
Handling Editor: Girme, Yuthika
Ethical Considerations
The CoUple’s Personality In Daily Life (CUPID) project received ethical approval from the Ethics Committee of the Faculty of Behavioral and Cultural Studies at Heidelberg University, Germany (IRB proposal: AZ Wrzu 2020 1/1). An overview of the variables assessed in the CUPID project (including those used in this study) can be found on the Open Science Framework (OSF): https://osf.io/bfkta/overview. The preregistration of the hypotheses and analysis plan for this study, as well as the preregistration of additional robustness checks, and an HTML file with detailed results and R code are available at the following OSF link:
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Funding
The authors disclosed receipt of the following financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article: The study was supported by Heidelberg University and by a grant from the Swiss National Science Foundation (SNSF; P2BSP1_188102) awarded to Janina Larissa Bühler.
Declaration of Conflicting Interests
The authors declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.
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