Haring et al. (1987): A Self-Advocate’s Reflection on Adolescent Peer Tutoring and Special Friend Experiences

Adolescent Peer Tutoring and Special Friend Experiences (Haring et al., 1987) is an article about how students with and without disabilities have good outcomes because of programs called Peer Tutors and Special Friends. When students with and without disabilities meet each other in Peer Tutor and Special Friend relationships, they interact more. The authors share that this research shows that having Peer Tutors and Special Friends can help teachers create more inclusion in schools. It is important to research and write about friendships between students with and without disabilities. Students with disabilities should be included with their peers in everything that they do together. It is important that everyone feels included, and being included starts with interacting together. This article was written in 1987. I think it was probably really challenging to be a student with a disability in 1987. There were a lot of separate classrooms for students with disabilities and there probably were not a lot of times when students without disabilities got to know their classmates without disabilities. In the time since this article, more students with and without disabilities are in classes together. But, being in classes together does not always mean you become friends.

High School without Peer Tutors and Special Friends

In high school, some of my classes were in special education classrooms and others were in general education classrooms. Some of it was okay, but some of it was not okay. It was okay because I did have some acquaintances in the general education classes. We did not have Peer Tutoring or Special Friends in high school, so anytime I talked to a student without a disability I had to start the conversation to find out what we had in common. I became acquaintances with some of the students in general education classes because we were able to have the same teachers and we found out we had some things in common. I found out we had things in common because I went up to them and talked to them. I learned how to talk to them by learning from my family and practicing with a Teen Connections group that taught social skills to students with disabilities. My high school classmates were acquaintances, but I would not really call them my friends.

High school was not okay because I got bullied a lot for having a disability and they called me names. It made me lose self-confidence. My brother made sure to include me with his friends by inviting me to hang out and have lunch with me. It helped having a brother in the same high school because it made me feel safe. I did not have the best experience in high school.

I wish my peers in high school knew what it was like to have a friend with a disability like the students in the article did. That way, peers without disabilities in my high school would know how to talk to someone with a disability and how to make friends with a person with a disability. There are people with disabilities who live and work all across the country. When kids grow up, they will most likely need to interact with a person with a disability. Having a friendship with a person with a disability in high school would have prepared my classmates without disabilities to have inclusive relationships when they were older. Practicing inclusion when you are young makes it easier to practice inclusion when you are older. These peers also might have made more friends who they shared common interests with if they knew how to befriend someone with a disability.

College with Peer Tutors and Special Friends

After high school, I knew I wanted to go to college like my brother. I visited him when he was in college and saw him doing fun things like taking interesting classes, going to events, and making friends. I wanted to do that too. My family and I looked at colleges that had inclusive higher education programs for students with an intellectual disability. I toured 10 campuses across the country that had these types of programs. I decided to go to college at Vanderbilt University. I enrolled through a program called Next Steps at Vanderbilt. Next Steps is a 4-year certificate program where students have the opportunity to take classes, work at different internships, and become more independent.

In my college experience, I had strong relationships with people who wanted to be a friend or tutor to me. Other students started conversations with me which made me want to be their friend. They included me in the things they did in their college lives, invited me out to do things, and introduced me to their other friends. In Haring et al. (1987), they found that the students who wanted to volunteer to work with students with disabilities had better attitudes about people with disabilities than students who did not volunteer. Maybe that is why the people that I met in college were more welcoming to me than in my high school. I went to a college where a lot of students without disabilities wanted to get to know other students with disabilities. Here are three examples of Vanderbilt students without an intellectual disability who had good attitudes about meeting me. They had good outcomes after spending time with me, too.

Anna

I do not remember having a friend in a general education classroom until I came to college at Vanderbilt. I met friends in my classes. The first friend I remember meeting was in a class at Vanderbilt in the special education department. Her name was Anna. She sat at my table, and we worked on a group project together. We shared common interests like where we lived and our love for shopping and reading. We would do things like go out to eat with her friends. Anna was close to being like a Special Friend in the article because we did fun things together. In Haring et al. (1987), Special Friends signed up to do social things with students who had a disability. However, Anna did not sign up to be my friend. She just was my friend. I am not totally sure why it was easier to make a friend in college right away, unlike high school. It may have been because I felt more confident in my skills. It may have been because college students are more inclusive. Or maybe it was because I got a fresh start. But, I do know it felt really nice to sit down in a classroom and meet Anna who was warm and inviting.

Lauren

I also met friends through the Ambassa’Dore peer mentor program. Ambassa’Dores are Vanderbilt students without disabilities who volunteer to help students in Next Steps succeed in college. They are like the Peer Tutors in the article. I met my friend Lauren at a mixer for Ambassa’Dores and Next Steps students. I knew she would be my peer mentor. When she joined my peer mentor Circle of Support, she was my tutor. She also helped me with being organized and with my college goals. We became so close. She included me. She invited me. She wanted to be my friend. After I graduated, we texted each other, FaceTimed, and went to get coffee together when she was near my home. My time with Lauren helped her decide to major in Special Education and taught her how to advocate for people with disabilities. She is still my friend today.

Lauren says,

Cat’s self-advocacy, ambition, and persistence inspired me to help other students reach their post-secondary goals like Cat did. It can be challenging for students with IDD to find a path after high school. Cat showed me that with the right support and advocacy, a student’s goals can be achieved. Because of Cat, I worked in high school education and now I am a law student so I can continue to advocate for students’ futures.

Abby

I met Abby when I was at the Ambassa’Dore mixer, too. She is another example of a Peer Tutor. I liked that Abby was kind and open to working with me. Abby also wanted to include me in everything. Abby and I both love pets, cooking, reading, and being outside. If I did not understand a task, Abby would make a task analysis and walk me through how to do things. She would focus on me when we were together. I appreciated this. Abby and I would go for walks outside, go to the library, pick out books to read, and go get coffee together. We spoke on a panel at a local restaurant about Next Steps and our friendship. It was nice having her there to help me because she made me feel safe and comfortable. Abby says,

Cat and I worked together through the time we were in college. I truly loved our time together, especially our workouts and walks to Starbucks! After graduating from Next Steps, Cat was one of the first to try a program in Tennessee allowing adults with disabilities to employ their support providers. I felt privileged that Cat asked me to be a provider for her. That experience, as well as Cat’s work and writing at Next Steps, showed me how Cat and others with disabilities can be excellent self-advocates. In addition, Cat was a true friend to me too during difficult times, and encouraging me during exciting times. I am grateful to have Cat as a friend.

Conclusion

When students without disabilities spend time with students with a disability, they learn how to make friends, how to include them, and how to keep friendships. I stayed friends with Peer Tutors Lauren and Abby but lost touch with Anna. It is okay to lose touch with people sometimes even if you both like each other. I think I stayed closer with Lauren and Abby because we spent more time together when they tutored me, and we got to learn even more about each other that way. They were tutors who turned into friends.

Programs like Peer Tutors and Special Friends are important. These programs help all students because students with and without disabilities get to know each other and help each other. Friendships like Anna’s are important, too. It should be normal to have a friendship without being paired up for support. Haring et al. (1987) said that students without disabilities had interactions that were “beneficial and enjoyable” when they were part of programs like Peer Tutors and Special Friends (p. 285). The authors also found that students who were part of Special Friends and Peer Tutors had positive attitudes about people with disabilities and were more likely to start conversations with them because of their experiences. I think people like Anna, Abby, and Lauren benefited from knowing me, and I know they enjoyed their time with me. I think they learned about including people with disabilities because they worked with me. I also taught them to speak up for themselves because they saw me speak up for myself.

What I think other people should know is that people with and without disabilities should be treated equally. People with disabilities need to be included just like any other human being. Programs like Peer Tutors and Special Friends can help students with disabilities be included. Haring et al. (1987) showed these programs can also help peers without disabilities become better people because they get to know their classmates with disabilities. When I was with Lauren, Abby, or other friends that I made in my Vanderbilt classes, we showed each other what inclusion looked like and felt like. Lauren, Abby, Anna, and I are better people because we got to know each other. That is what inclusion means to me.