This article emphasizes the importance of accessing children’s perspectives as part of the decision-making process in relation to the placement of siblings in foster or adoptive homes. Two case examples illustrate a proposed assessment model in which the children were seen together and separately. This model provided a predictable structure in which to observe the children’s interactions, their verbal and non-verbal communication and play, and to begin to think about their shared and individual needs. The case examples also illustrate one aspect of sibling relationships that can be overlooked - the children’s deep sense of relatedness and belonging to each other. The importance of a systematic approach to this difficult, and often painful, area of work cannot be overestimated.