“Don’t I Have a Say?”: A Critical Autoethnography on Choice and Essentiality-of-Being

Abstract

In this autoethnography, I reflect on the last 72-hours of telephonic experiences with my godmother’s decision to live or die before entering a nursing facility. “Don’t I have a say” is a broader critical reflection about older adults’ lack of personal choices with regard to their health care without advance directives and the caregiver’s best interest decision-making approach. The central ideas in this autoethnography illuminate choice theory and the essentiality of being. From my godmother’s point of view, choice theory and essentiality of being highlight the need for her “owning” her health care decision. From my perspective, choice theory offers new perspectives and solutions to best interest decision-making as a potential caregiver. While in the final hours of my godmother’s life, she “owned” the decision; however, years later, I am still processing what happens when a person wills death to have the final say.