Waiting for Daybreak

Abstract

This performance narrative is an exploration of the trauma after the trauma: the days and weeks following a sexual assault I experienced in college. As an assault victim, I encountered the initial violence of the attack, but afterward, I continued to encounter violence in the forms of silence, banality, dismissal, and the inability to connect with others. In this offering, I attempt to present the fierce collision of emotions I drove through on the road to recovery. The unwelcome company of painful memories almost always pervaded my isolation and loneliness. This performance raises questions on the types of responses a survivor encounters from friends, family, and the broader society. Finding help isn’t as simple as picking up the phone, because first and foremost, the victim must call.