Fathers,Sons,Loss,and the Search for the Question

Abstract

As part of his continuing inquiry into fathers and loss, the author weaves between—felts together—stories from several sessions of working with a counseling client, “Terry,” and stories of the author’s relationship with his father. Through these narratives he explores the experience of relating to and losing a father, not necessarily in that order. The particular focus of the piece is on areas of relational dissonance, which he finds are often more difficult to surface and are certainly more problematic to articulate publicly. Suspicious of writing, writing, however inadequate, feels the only response he can make to these as, pace Cixous, he searches for questions rather than answers. He is not sure whether this is a hopeful essay or whether this writing “helps,” either the writer or the reader/witness.