Respect is one of the cornerstones of healthy relationships. The article features the Couple’s Respect Questionnaire as a tool for couples to explore specific examples and qualities of respect in their relationship. The four Rs are presented as core components of respect. They consist of Respect for differences, Responsibility (ability to respond respectfully), Review (a willingness to review), and Release (a willingness to release). Following a profile of the assessed behaviors, a stepwise procedure is outlined to increase a couple’s respect and understanding of behavioral and personality differences.
BertoniA.BodenmannG. (2010). Satisfied and dissatisfied couples: Positive and negative dimensions, conflict styles, and relationships with family of origin. European Psychologist, 15, 175–184.
2.
BöhmR.SchützA.RentzschK.KörnerA.FunkeF. (2010). Are we looking for positivity or similarity in a partner's outlook on life? Similarity predicts perceptions of social attractiveness and relationship quality. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 5, 431–438. doi: 10.1080/17439760.2010.534105
CarlsonR. (1997). Don’t sweat the small stuff… and it’s all small stuff: Simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life. New York, NY: Hyperion.
5.
DreikursR. (1999). The challenge of marriage. Philadelphia, PA: Accelerated Development Program.
6.
EcksteinD. (2012). The couple’s match book: Activities for lighting, re-kindling, or extinguishing the flame. Bloomington, IN: Trafford.
7.
ElliottR.BohartA. C.WatsonJ. C.GreenbergL. S. (2011). Empathy. Psychotherapy, 48, 43–49.
8.
FennellD. L. (1993). Characteristics of long-term first marriages. Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 15, 446–460.
9.
FinchamF. D.HallJ. H.BeachS. R. H. (2005). “Til lack of forgiveness doth us part:” Forgiveness and marriage. In WorthingtonE. L., Jr. (Ed.), Handbook of forgiveness (pp. 207–226). New York, NY: Routledge.
10.
GarciaF. (2012). Healing good-byes and healthy hellos: Learning and growing from painful endings and transitions. Transactional Analysis Journal, 42, 53–61.
11.
GottmanJ. M.GottmanJ. S.DeClaireJ. (2006). Ten lessons to transform your marriage: America’s love lab experts share their strategies for strengthening your relationship. New York, NY: Random House.
12.
GottmanJ. M.SilverN. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide from the country’s foremost relationship expert. New York, NY: Crown.
13.
HaleyJ. (1973). Uncommon therapy. New York, NY: W.W. Norton.
14.
HaleyJ. (1980). How to be a marriage therapist without knowing practically anything. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 6, 385–391. doi:10.1111/j.1752-0606.1980.tb01330.x
15.
HarrisT. A. (1969). I’m OK-you’re OK. New York, NY: Harper & Row.
16.
JohnsonS.LebowJ. (2000). The “coming of age” of couple therapy: A decade review. Journal of Marital & Family Therapy, 26, 23–38. doi:10.1111/j.1752-0606.2000.tb00273.x
17.
Kiecolt-GlaserJ. K.BaneC.GlaserR.MalarkeyW. B. (2003). Love, marriage, and divorce: Newlyweds’ stress hormones foreshadow relationship changes. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 71, 176–188.
18.
O’RourkeN.ClaxtonA.ChouP. H. B.SmithJ. Z.HadjistavropoulosT. (2011). Personality trait levels within older couples and between-spouse trait differences as predictors of marital satisfaction. Aging & Mental Health, 15, 344–353. doi:10.1080/13607863.2010.519324
WorthingtonJr., E. L.LernerA. J.SharpC. B. (2005). Repairing the emotional bond: Marriage research from 1997 through early 2005. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 24, 259–262.
