Therapists working with couples will likely have opportunities to help couples dealing with affairs. Affairs present significant challenges not only to couples but also to therapists. Using a traditional Buddhist story as a metaphor, a three-stage model for working with couples after an affair is presented. The metaphor and model suggest a perceptual shift from seeing the affair as a relationship-ending event to viewing it as a transformational process and opportunity for growth. Each of the three stages is explained conceptually along with suggested interventions to help couples move through each stage in rebuilding a new, healthier relationship. The importance of mindfulness for both the therapist and couple is outlined, and limitations are suggested.
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