Blurring the Lines: Exploring the Work Spouse Phenomenon

Abstract

Human social behavior is largely driven by our innate motivation to develop and maintain interpersonal relationships. In the workplace, employees form various types of relationships to fulfill the need to belong and affiliate. The dynamics of today’s work environment, however, are increasingly blurring the lines between work and personal domains. A different type of interpersonal workplace relationship that is drawing more attention is work spouse. A work spouse refers to an exclusive, intimate, nonsexual shared bond with a work colleague. Despite widespread media attention, this phenomenon has not garnered much attention among organizational scholars. Thus, we aim to conceptualize work spouse as a unique interpersonal workplace relationship worthy of scholarly attention. The literature on roles and boundaries helps to enhance our understanding of this unique relationship and offer a novel agenda from which to explore the work spouse relationship and its consequences in the work and personal domain.

Keywords

organizational behavior work life: conflict management or quality human resource management

Get full access to this article

View all access options for this article.

References

Adams

(2012). The state of the office romance. Forbes. Available at https://www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2015/02/13/the-state-of-the-office-romance-2015/#2d76de5163e7.

Allen

T. D.

Eby

L. T.

(2007). Common bonds: An integrative view of mentoring relationships. The Blackwell handbook of mentoring: A multiple perspectives approach (pp. 397-419). Oxford, England: John Wiley & Sons.

Ambrose

(1999). Comrade. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.

Anderson

C. J.

Fisher

(1991). Male–female relationships in the workplace: Perceived motivations in office romance. Sex Roles, 25(3), 163-180.

Anderson

John

O. P.

Keltner

Kring

A. M.

(2001). Who attains social status? Effects of personality and physical attractiveness in social groups. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 81(1), 116.

Ashford

S. J.

Taylor

M. S.

(1990). Adaptation to work transitions: An integrative approach. In Ferris

G. R.

Rowland

K. M.

(Eds.), Research in personnel and human re- sources management (pp. 1-39). Greenwich, CT: JAI Press.

Ashforth

B. E.

Kreiner

G. E.

Fugate

(2000). All in a day’s work: Boundaries and micro role transitions. Academy of Management Review, 25(3), 472-491.

Bahler

(2016). How to make sure your “work spouse” relationship actually works. Money. Available at http://time.com/money/4562676/work-husband-work-wife-career-advice/

Baldwin

(1930). The office wife. New York, NY: Dodd, Mead & Co.

10.

Ballinger

G. A.

Rockmann

K. W.

(2010). Chutes versus ladders: Anchoring event and a punctuated-equilibrium perspective on social exchange relationships. Academy of Management Review, 35(3), 373-391.

11.

Baumeister

R. F.

Leary

M. R.

(1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497.

12.

Baxter

L. A.

(1982). Strategies for ending relationships: Two studies. Western Journal of Communication, 46(3), 223-241.

13.

Berman

E. M.

West

J. P.

Richter

M. N.

(2002). Workplace relations: Friendship patterns and consequences (according to managers). Public Administration Review, 62(2), 217-230.

14.

Berscheid

Walster

E. H.

(1969). Rewards others provide: Similarity. In Berschei

Walster

E. H.

(Eds.), Interpersonal attraction (pp. 69-91). Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley.

15.

Bertram

(2019). Meet Bernie Taupin, the writer behind Elton John’s biggest hits. Biography. Available at https://www.biography.com/news/elton-john-bernie-taupin

16.

Blieszner

Adams

R. G.

(1992). Adult friendship. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.

17.

Bowlby

(1982). Attachment and loss: retrospect and prospect. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 52(4), 664.

18.

Braff

(2017). Are you crossing the line with your work spouse? Chicago Tribune. Available at http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/sc-work-spouses-family-0411-20170331-story.html.

19.

Brown

T. J.

Allgeier

E. R.

(1996). The impact of participant characteristics, perceived motives, and job behaviors on co-workers’ evaluations of workplace romances. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 26(7), 577-595.

20.

Byrne

(1971). The attraction paradigm. New York, NY: Academic Press.

21.

Captivate Network. (2017). Cubicle comradery and the proliferation of the work spouse. Available at http://officepulse.captivate.com/workspouse_2017

22.

Casciaro

Lobo

M. S.

(2011). The primacy of affect in intraorganizational task networks. Paper presented at the Academy of Management Annual Meeting, San Antonio, TX.

23.

Chernyak-Hai

Rabenu

(2018). The new era workplace relationships: Is social exchange theory still relevant? Industrial and Organizational Psychology, 11(3), 456-481.

24.

Chun

(2012). Signs you’ve crossed the line with your work spouse. Huffington Post, Small Business. Available at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/26/workspouse_n_1901577.html.

25.

Clark

S. C.

(2000). Work/family border theory: A new theory of work/family balance. Human Relations, 53, 747-770.

26.

Daft

R. L.

(2008). New era of management. Mason, OH: Thomson South-Western.

27.

Daft

R. L.

(2015). Organization theory and design. Boston, MA: Cengage Learning.

28.

Deci

E. L.

Ryan

R. M.

(2000). The “what” and “why” of goal pursuit: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11, 227-268.

29.

Dillard

J. P.

Broetzmann

S. M.

(1989). Romantic relationships at work: Perceived changes in job-related behaviors as a function of participant’s motive, partner’s motive, and gender. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 19(2), 93-110.

30.

Durkheim

(1897/1951). Suicide: A study in sociology. Glencoe, IL: Free Press.

31.

Dutton

J. E.

Heaphy

E. D.

(2003). The power of high-quality connections at work. In Cameron

Dutton

J. E.

Quinn

R. E.

(Eds.), Positive organizational scholarship (pp. 263-278). San Francisco, CA: Berrett-Koehler.

32.

Erwin

(2008). Seven signs you have a work spouse. CNN. Available at http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/worklife/11/10/cb.seven.signs.work.spouse/index.html?eref=rss_us.

33.

Eyler

D. R.

Baridon

A. P.

(1992). More than just friends. Psychology Today. Available at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199205/more-just-friends.

34.

Faris

R. E.

(1934). Cultural isolation and the schizophrenic personality. American Journal of Sociology, 40(2), 155–164.

35.

Ferrazzi

(2017). Why we should all have a work spouse. LinkedIn. Available at https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-we-should-all-have-work-spouse-keith-ferrazzi.

36.

Ferris

G. R.

Liden

R. C.

Munyon

T. P.

Summers

J. K.

Basik

K. J.

Buckley

M. R.

(2009). Relationships at work: Toward a multidimensional conceptualization of dyadic work relationships. Journal of Management, 35(6), 1379-1403.

37.

French

S. M.

(2015). My confidant, my coworker: The interpersonal relationship of work spouses. Available at http://aquila.usm.edu/dissertations/143

38.

Gabarro

J. J.

(1978). The development of trust, influence, and expectations. In Athos

A. G.

Gabarro

J. J.

(Eds.), Interpersonal behavior: Communication and understanding in relationships (pp. 290–303). Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall.

39.

Gaskell

(2016). The changing shape of the modern workplace. Forbes. Available at https://www.forbes.com/sites/adigaskell/2016/08/15/the-changing-shape-of-the-modern-workplace/#f91d6f423e5c.

40.

Gersick

C. J. G.

Bartunek

J. M.

Dutton

J. E.

(2000). Learning from academia: The importance of relationships in professional life. Academy of Management Journal, 43, 1026-1044.

41.

Gompers

P. A.

Mukharlyamov

Xuan

(2016). The cost of friendship. Journal of Financial Economics, 119(3), 626-644.

42.

Hall

D. T.

Richter

(1988). Balancing work life and home life: What can organizations do to help? Academy of Management Executive, 2, 213-223.

43.

Harms

P. D.

(2011). Adult attachment styles in the workplace. Human Resource Management Review, 21(4), 285-296.

44.

Harter

(2014). Should employers ban email after work hours? Gallup Business Journal. Available at https://news.gallup.com/businessjournal/175670/employers-ban-email-work-hours.aspx.

45.

Hartmann

(1991). Boundaries in the mind: A new psychology of personality. New York, NY: Basic Books.

46.

Hayton

J. C.

Carnabuci

Eisenberger

(2012). With a little help from my colleagues: A social embeddedness approach to perceived organizational support. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 33(2), 235-249.

47.

Heaphy

E. D.

Dutton

J. E.

(2008). Positive social interactions and the human body at work: Linking organizations and physiology. Academy of Management Review, 33(1), 137-162.

48.

Hood

A. C.

Cruz

K. S.

Bachrach

D. G.

(2017). Conflicts with friends: A multiplex view of friendship and conflict and its association with performance in teams. Journal of Business and Psychology, 32(1), 73-86.

49.

Horan

S. M.

Chory

R. M.

(2011). Understanding work/life blending: Credibility implications for those who date at work. Communication Studies, 62(5), 563-580.

50.

Janis

I. L.

Janis

I. L.

(1982). Groupthink: Psychological studies of policy decisions and fiascoes (Vol. 349). Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin.

51.

Jehn

K. A.

Shah

P. P.

(1997). Interpersonal relationships and task performance: An examination of mediation processes in friendship and acquaintance groups. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 72(4), 775-790.

52.

Johnson

Z. V.

Young

L. J.

(2015). Neurobiological mechanisms of social attachment and pair bonding. Current Opinion in Behavioral Sciences, 3, 38-44.

53.

Kanter

R. M.

(1977). Some effects of proportions on group life: Skewed sex ratios and responses to token women. American Journal of Sociology, 82(5), 965-990.

54.

Kirby

E. L.

Wieland

S. M.

Chad McBride

(2013). Work-life conflict. In Oetzel

J. G.

Ting-Toomey

(Eds.), The SAGE handbook of conflict communication: Integrating theory, research, and practice (pp. 337-402). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications. Available at http://dx.doi.org/10.4135/9781452281988.n16

55.

Kirchmeyer

(1995). Managing the work-nonwork boundary: An assessment of organizational responses. Human Relations, 48(5), 515-536.

56.

Kleeman

(2015). Your “work spouse” is one of the most meaningful relationships in your life – here’s why. Connections.Mic. Available at https://mic.com/articles/115126/your-work-spouse-is-one-of-the-most-meaningful-relationships-in-your-life-here-s-why#.n3hb8ZYyL.

57.

Kram

K. E.

Isabella

L. A.

(1985). Mentoring alternatives: The role of peer relationships in career development. Academy of Management Journal, 28(1), 110-132.

58.

Kreiner

G. E.

Hollensbe

E. C.

Sheep

M. L.

(2009). Balancing borders and bridges: Negotiating the work–home interface via boundary work tactics. Academy of Management Journal, 52, 704-730.

59.

Kuwabara

Luo

Sheldon

(2010). Multiplex exchange relations. In Thye

S. R.

Lawler

E. J.

(Eds.), Advances in group processes (pp. 239-268). Bingley, UK: Emerald Publishing.

60.

Laurenceau

J. P.

Barrett

L. F.

Rovine

M. J.

(2005). The interpersonal process model of intimacy in marriage: A daily-diary and multilevel modeling approach. Journal of Family Psychology, 19(2), 314.

61.

Lazega

Pattison

P. E.

(1999). Multiplexity, generalized exchange and cooperation in organizations: A case study. Social Networks, 21, 67-90.

62.

Levine

I. S.

(2010). The work spouse: Indispensable friend or playing with fire? Available at http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-friendship-doctor/201012/the-work-spouse-indispensable-friend-or-playing-fire.

63.

Lewicki

Bunker

(1996). Developing and maintaining trust in work relationships. Trust in Organizations: Frontiers of Theory and Research, 1, 114.

64.

Lewis

K. R.

(2013). The risks (and rewards) of having a work spouse. Fortune. Available at http://fortune.com/2013/02/14/the-risks-and-rewards-of-having-a-work-spouse/.

65.

Louis

M. R.

Sutton

R. I.

(1991). Switching cognitive gears: From habits of mind to active thinking. Human Relations, 44, 55-76.

66.

Mainiero

L. A.

(1989). Office romance: Love, power, and sex in the workplace. New York, NY: Rawson Associates.

67.

Marks

S. R.

MacDermid

S. M.

(1996). Multiple roles and the self: A theory of role balance. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 58(2), 417-432.

68.

Martin

C. A.

(2005). From high maintenance to high productivity: What managers need to know about Generation Y. Industrial and Commercial Training, 37(1), 39-44.

69.

Maslach

(1993). Burnout: A multidimensional perspective. In Schaufeli

W. B.

Maslach

Marek

(Eds.), Series in applied psychology: Social issues and questions. Professional burnout: Recent developments in theory and research (pp. 19-32). Philadelphia, PA: Taylor & Francis.

70.

Maslow

A. H.

(1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review, 50(4), 370-396.

71.

Maslow

(1954). Motivation and personality. New York, NY: Harper.

72.

Maslow

A. H.

(1968). Toward a psychology of being. New York, NY: D. Van Nostrand Company.

73.

Maslow

A. H.

(1970). Motivation and personality. New York, NY: Harper & Row.

74.

McBride

M. C.

Bergen

K. M.

(2015). Work spouses: Defining and understanding a “new” relationship. Communication Studies, 66(5), 487-508.

75.

McBride

M. C.

Kirby

E. L.

(2009). “You’re totally her work husband”: Managing misperceptions of the “work-spouse” relationship. In Kirby

E. L.

McBride

M. C.

(Eds.), Gender actualized: Cases in communicatively constructing realities (pp. 133-140). Dubuque, IA: Kendall Hunt.

76.

McGregor

(2014). The average work week is now 47 hours. The Washington Post. Available at https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/on-leadership/wp/2014/09/02/the-average-work-week-is-now-47-hours/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.24cd5cc73c02.

77.

McRady

(2015). Jennifer Lawrence: Bradley Cooper’s my work husband, but there’s no sex. Us Magazine. Available at https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/jennifer-lawrence-bradley-cooper-work-husband-no-sex-2015223/

78.

Methot

J. R.

LePine

J. A.

Podsakoff

N. P.

Christian

J. S.

(2016). Are workplace friendships a mixed blessing? Exploring tradeoffs of multiplex relationships and their associations with job performance. Personnel Psychology, 69(2), 311-355.

79.

Michaelsen

Johnson

D. E.

(1997). Border theory: The limits of cultural politics. Minneapolis, MN: University of Minnesota Press.

80.

Nel

(2007). Winston Churchill by his personal secretary: Recollections of the great man by a woman who worked for him. New York, NY: iUniverse Inc.

81.

Nippert-Eng

(1996). Calendars and keys: The classification of “home” and “work.” Sociological Forum, 11, 563-582.

82.

Noah

(2004). Condoleezza Rice’s promotion creates a void. Slate. Available at http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/chatterbox/2004/11/prexy_sks_wrk_wf.html

83.

Pierce

C. A.

(1998). Factors associated with participating in a romantic relationship in a work environment. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 28(18), 1712-1730.

84.

Pierce

C. A.

Aguinis

(1997). Bridging the gap between romantic Incubator relationships and sexual harassment in organizations. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 18, 197-200.

85.

Pierce

C. A.

Aguinis

(2001). A framework for investigating the link between workplace romance and sexual harassment. Group & Organization Management, 26(2), 206-229.

86.

Pierce

C. A.

Aguinis

(2003). Romantic relationships in organizations: A test of a model of formation and impact factors. Management Research: Journal of the Iberoamerican Academy of Management, 1(2), 161-169.

87.

Pierce

C. A.

Aguinis

(2005). Legal standards, ethical standards, and responses to social–sexual conduct at work. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 26(6), 727-732.

88.

Pierce

C. A.

Aguinis

(2009). Moving beyond a legal-centric approach to managing workplace romances: Organizationally sensible recommendations for HR leaders. Human Resource Management, 48(3), 447-464.

89.

Pierce

C. A.

Byrne

Aguinis

(1996). Attraction in organizations: A model of workplace Romance. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 17(1), 5-32.

90.

Pierce

C. A.

Muslin

I. S.

Dudley

C. M.

Aguinis

(2008). From charm to harm: A content-analytic review of sexual harassment court cases involving workplace romance. Management Research: Journal of the Iberoamerican Academy of Management, 6(1), 27-45.

91.

Powell

G. N.

(2001). Workplace romances between senior-level executives and lower-level employees: An issue of work disruption and gender. Human Relations, 54(11), 1519-1544.

92.

Quinn

R. E.

(1977). Coping with cupid: The formation, impact, and management of romantic relationships in organizations. Administrative Science Quarterly, 22(1), 30-45.

93.

Quinn

R. W.

Dutton

J. E.

(2005). Coordination as energy-in-conversation. Academy of Management Review, 30(1), 36-57.

94.

Ray

E. B.

(1987). Supportive relationships and occupational stress in the workplace. In Albrecht

T. L.

Adelman

M. B.

, & Associates (Eds.), Communicating social support (pp. 172-191). Newbury Park, CA: Sage Publications.

95.

Rayasam

(2016). Having a work spouse makes you happier. BBC Capital. Available at http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20161106-having-a-work-spouse-makes-you-happier.

96.

Rosenbaum

M. E.

(1986). The repulsion hypothesis: On the nondevelopment of relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 51(6), 1156-1166.

97.

Rosenbury

L. A.

(2013). Work wives. Harvard Journal of Law & Gender, 36, 345-404.

98.

Shah

P. P.

Dirks

K. T.

Chervany

(2006). The multiple pathways of high performing groups: The interaction of social networks and group processes. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 27(3), 299-317.

99.

Shah

P. P.

Jehn

K. A.

(1993). Do friends perform better than acquaintances? The interaction of friendship, conflict, and task. Group decision and negotiation, 2(2), 149-165.

100.

Shaver

Hazan

Bradshaw

(1988). Love as attachment. In Sternberg

R. J.

Barnes

M. L.

(Eds.), The psychology of love (pp. 68-99). New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.

101.

Sias

P. M.

Cahill

(1998). From co-workers to friends: The development to peer friendships in the workplace. Western Journal of Communication, 62, 273-299.

102.

Sias

P. M.

Gallagher

(2009). Developing, maintaining and disengaging from workplace friendships. In Friends and Enemies in Organizations (pp. 78-100). London: Palgrave Macmillan.

103.

Sias

P. M.

Heath

R. G.

Perry

Silva

Fix

(2004). Narratives of workplace friendship deterioration. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 21(3), 321-340.

104.

Sias

P. M.

Gallagher

E. B.

Kopaneva

Pedersen

(2012a). Maintaining workplace friendships: Perceived politeness and predictors of maintenance tactic choice. Communication Research, 39(2), 239-268.

105.

Sias

P. M.

Pedersen

Gallagher

E. B.

Kopaneva

(2012b). Workplace friendship in the electronically connected organization. Human Communication Research, 38(3), 253-279.

106.

Singh

S. Y.

(2000). Attitudes and attraction: A new test of the attraction, repulsion and similarity-dissimilarity asymmetry hypotheses. British Journal of Social Psychology, 39(2), 197-211.

107.

Sloat

(2017). Why scientists think it’s a great idea to have a work spouse. Inverse Science. Available at https://www.inverse.com/article/35392-work-spouse-wife-husband-office-psychology

108.

Spector

(2017). You may be surprised at how many people have crossed the line with their “work spouse.” NBC News. Available at https://www.nbcnews.com/business/consumer/more-employees-have-work-spouses-it-can-get-complicated-n722886

109.

Sprecher

Felmlee

Metts

Fehr

Vanni

(1998). Factors associated with distress following the breakup of a close relationship. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 6, 791-809.

110.

Stevenson

(2013). How to score an office wife. GQ. Available at https://www.gq.com/story/get-an-office-wife

111.

Thibaut

J. W.

Kelley

H. H.

(1959). The social psychology of groups. Oxford, England: John Wiley & Sons.

112.

Totaljobs Group Ltd. (2017). Married 9 to 5: The world of work spouses. Available at https://www.totaljobs.com/insidejob/work-spouse/#first-dates.

113.

Umphress

E. E.

Labianca

Brass

D. J.

Kass

Scholten

(2003). The role of instrumental and expressive social ties in employees’ perceptions of organizational justice. Organization Science, 14(6), 738-753.

114.

Van Dam

Morath

. (2016). Changing times: How Americans spend their day reflects a shifting economy and population. Wall Street Journal. Available at https://graphics.wsj.com/time-use/

115.

Venkataramani

Dalal

R. S.

(2007). Who helps and harms whom? Relational antecedents of interpersonal helping and harming in organizations. Journal of Applied Psychology, 92(4), 952.

116.

Venkataramani

Tangirala

(2010). When and why do central employees speak up? An examination of mediating and moderating variables. Journal of Applied Psychology, 95(3), 582.

117.

Wasserman

Faust

(1994). Social network analysis: Methods and applications. Cambridge, England: Cambridge University Press.

118.

Williams

J. R.

Catania

K. C.

Carter

C. S.

(1992). Development of partner preferences in female prairie voles (Microtus ochrogaster): The role of social and sexual experience. Hormones and Behavior, 26(3), 339-349.

119.

Young

L. J.

(2003). The neural basis of pair bonding in a monogamous species: A model for understanding the biological basis of human behavior. In Wachter

K. W.

Bulatao

R. A.

(Eds.), Offspring: Human fertility behavior in biodemographic perspective. Washington, DC: National Academies Press. Available at https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK97287/

120.

Zerubavel

(1991). The fine line: Making distinctions in everyday life. New York, NY: Free Press.