Doubts and Fears

Abstract

This submission is meant to explore the care giver's concerns with respect to her husband's Parkinson's Disease and her role as the care giver in a long term marriage. As every relationship is tested through time and circumstance, the author's writing attempts to articulate the self-reflective concerns she has regarding her husband's disease and what it means to her life going forward in the relationship. The excerpt from her journals is a snapshot from her writings prior to his passing. Predominantly, the article explores her doubts and fears with respect to her own strength and ability to come to terms with the disease and her having lived with his diagnosis for 17 years. The sudden and unexpected passing of her husband in April 2014 catapulted her into the hitherto unforeseen position of being a widow. The poem “Not Yet” explores the sense of dislocation and “unpreparedness” for this new psychological and emotional state of this sudden singularity.