“I always check if the bassoon is OK . . . it’s the last thing I do before sleep”: A phenomenological approach to the musician–instrument relationship and self-identity of professional classical musicians

Abstract

As the result of the musician’s repeated experiences of feeling merged with their instrument, it disappears from their consciousness, like an unnoticed body part. This research investigated the phenomenon of merging with the instrument among professional classical musicians, aiming to understand how these musicians experience their relationship with their instrument, including the relationship’s impact on their self-identity. Six musicians took part in semi-structured interviews. Data were analyzed using Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis to explore participants’ lived embodied experiences. Four themes emerged from the data: Intertwined identity, Personifying and nurturing the instrument, Monogamous relationship, and Transcending intimacy. In conclusion, musicians’ self-identity relies heavily on their instruments, which they often humanize. Their embodied relationships are characterized by experiences ranging from out-of-body states when playing the instrument, to mistakes in performance, and responses to the endangerment of the instrument.