Labouring to Love

Abstract

South Africa is 10 years into its new democratic order. An aspect of the country's political transformation has been an official political commitment to gender trans-formation. While great strides have been made towards greater gender equality at the institutional and legal level of society, the present article suggests that highly unequal power relations between men and women continue to be perpetuated in unexpected ways among those whom we would most expect to be capable of resistance. This paper is about how subtle yet deeply embedded ideologies and practices within heterosexual relationships serve to keep highly educated, apparently empowered and liberated women ‘in their place’, ensuring that they do not fulfil their potential. Traditionally women were socialised into assuming their positions in the home as caregivers and unpaid household labourers. The hope of feminism was that education, economic empowerment and an ideology of ‘can do’ independence would liberate women. However, for many women, it is in the most intimate aspects of their lives—in their sexual relationships with men—that this hope continues to be thwarted.