Abstract

Public opinions on same-sex marriage and gay adoption get researched and reported regularly, because issues such as these loom large in the American culture wars. They have been highly visible markers of the evolving definition of family during the last few decades when household structures have become more diversified. The definition of family has important implications for numerous policy issues affecting women (child custody, health insurance coverage, welfare payments, social security benefits, etc.). Counted Out sets out to examine the way Americans characterize the concept of family.
The book analyzes the results of the authors’ research asking over 1,500 people to explain their views on gay marriage and adoption, single mothers, unmarried partners, child development, religion, and related issues. For those interested in Americans’ current attitudes toward same-sex marriage, this book will undoubtedly be a tremendous resource. Although, as with any book that is built upon opinion poll results, its usefulness is likely to diminish as time passes and opinions change.
Although the book is transparent about its focus on same-sex relations, it simultaneously claims to have larger goals. Throughout the book, the authors position their work as being broader than merely focused on same-sex couples—they claim to look at a multiplicity of family structures. The authors state, “The overriding objective of this book, then, is to explore people’s definitions of family,” and they repeatedly write about their research as if they had addressed a wide range of family structures. Yet this feels disingenuous. In actuality, they focused on a narrow range of family structures, and, unfortunately, this study is perhaps most notable for the households it excluded.
We live in a country where, increasingly, women are living together as they age (ala The Golden Girls), serving as each other’s caregivers. Millions of children live in kinship care (living with relatives other than their parents, such as grandmothers). We also have tens of millions of Americans living in family households that contain multiple adult generations (including adult children caring for their parents)—and these families are more likely to be Hispanic, African American, or Asian. Thousands of immigrant households include various combinations of relations. All of these family structures are either ignored or merely given lip service by the authors. These (and other) exclusions are not insignificant. They end up reinforcing white, middle-class conceptions of family.
The book does, however, offer detailed information for same-sex marriage advocates as it describes comprehensively who does and does not support them. It also includes a fascinating chapter about the attitudes that Americans hold toward women taking their husbands’ last names upon marriage, which will interest anyone concerned with contemporary gender roles.
The authors state that their findings prove that Americans’ definitions of family are becoming more expansive. Yet, by focusing on households that are based upon conjugal or parental relationships, and marginalizing almost all of the other forms of caregiving arrangements in which millions of Americans actually live, this study, in effect, narrows the definition of family and the surrounding discourse.
