The impact of complex and unwanted feelings evoked in foster carers by traumatised children in long-term placements

Abstract

When looked after children who have been exposed to substantial trauma enter foster care, the manner in which they present can be extremely challenging for the carers and can persist for a substantial period of time. In response, foster carers may attempt to create a nurturing environment for the children. However, the way the children behave can evoke powerful and unwelcome feelings in carers, such as rage and hatred towards those they look after. The manner in which the children present and the frightening feelings this may trigger can overwhelm the foster carers’ capacity to sustain a nurturing stance in relation to the children and jeopardise the placement. In this article, two case studies chart such a dynamic and show that if carers are able to reflect upon the painful and unwanted feelings evoked in them, and acknowledge and take responsibility for what has become enacted in the placement, there may be an opportunity for this harmful dynamic to be processed and repaired. Moreover, there may be a change in the nature of the relationship between carers and children, creating a renewed hope for the life of the placement. The child, too, may benefit from an experience where the frightening, hated aspects of him- or herself are finally felt to be understood and are less overwhelming, enabling them to tolerate these perceptions and contain their enactment in the placement, so increasing their trust and belief in the nurture offered.