Abstract
But tricky as the art of contemporary censorship may seem, plenty of modern despots with no apparent technical inclination are doing it brilliantly – and with this how-to guide, you can, too. It may seem complicated at first, but remember: you’re a strongman. You’ve got this.
The internet has been called history’s greatest democratising force, so obviously you’ll want to get on top of that. But how? Fortunately, training seminars are available, courtesy of China’s President Xi Jinping, the original digital authoritarian. He’s already put on events to help 50 countries including Saudi Arabia, Thailand and Libya crack down online. So throw a few tonnes of rare earth minerals or a big arms contract his way and you, too, could soon be learning how to set up your very own version of the Great Firewall (the vast security and surveillance apparatus that governs online life in China).
DNS interception… packet filtering… URL blocking… this could be an IT nightmare, and you’ve got a feeling your generals are only pretending to understand the jargon. Luckily, plenty of companies are happy to give technical support in exchange for a little of the national wealth you’ve looted. Canadian company Netsweeper, for example, creates the software used by Kuwait, UAE, Yemen and others to filter news and political opinion and block LGBT content. The company points out it takes no responsibility for how its products are used – but that’s fine. Neither will you.
A record-setting Olympic squad and elite personal guard are all very well, but the ultimate strongman status symbol these days is a platoon of trolls. They may not look like much at your birthday parade but just wait until you put them to work. Maybe you’d like to prank other countries’ electorates in the mode of Russia’s Vladimir Putin, or flood your domestic audience with WhatsApp propaganda like India’s Narendra Modi. Either way, a shit-posting special unit is this decade’s despot must-have.
Owning the media channels in your country is Despotting 101, but with innovative new corporate structures, an even more cunning move is available: doing it in secret. Earlier this decade, mysterious front companies bought up leading Venezuelan news providers Ultimas Noticias and El Universal. Even now it’s not 100% clear who was behind the purchases but, conveniently for President Nicolas Maduro, the papers quickly moved to a markedly more pro-government line. The most challenging thing about pulling off such a manoeuvre? As someone used to slapping your portrait on every available surface, you’ll have to resist the urge to take credit for once.
CREDIT: Otto Dettmer/Ikon
You can’t police everything that happens online, but don’t worry. Gentle but consistent pressure is often enough to get overseas platforms to take up the slack on your behalf. As usual, China’s Xi makes it look easy. Witness how, during the Hong Kong protests, Blizzard Entertainment ejected a popular video-gamer who voiced his support for the protesters, while Apple removed the Quartz news app for its coverage of the unrest – all without the Chinese authorities seeming to have to lift a finger. If you want to get a company to cravenly abandon its corporate values at your behest, just let the head honchos know you’ve been thinking of withdrawing their market access. Then let self-interest do the rest.
When you’re fighting trade wars and terrorists, it’s important to remember who your real enemy is: any journalist who tries to question you. Take a leaf from US President Donald Trump’s book and never miss an opportunity to address the reporters at your next five-hour press conference as “fake news”, “the enemy of the American people” or the “lamestream media”. After all, if you can successfully delegitimise the entire profession, no one will believe them when it comes to your various impeachable offences.
With so many new formats to gag, it’s easy to forget about books – those conveniently flammable things still found in the classrooms and libraries of most nations. Don’t. Controlling textbooks is still a key part of the 21st century strongman’s repertoire, enabling leaders like Recep Tayyip Erdogan of Turkey to trash evolution, deny genocide and strengthen his chokehold on the country. This summer, his forces seized and destroyed more than 300,000 books. So if you think a traditional book-burning could work for your administration, go for it! Just don’t forget to torch the Kindle versions as well.
No one ever said being a modern strongman would be easy. But who knows? Once you’ve tried a few of these tips in the nation over which you preside, you might conclude we’re living through a secret golden age of censorship and suppression, after all.