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Abstract

Practitioners of non-monogamy are queering relationships by challenging the dominant relational script of monogamy. Despite the prevalence and queering potential of non-monogamy, there is limited research that focuses on the ways in which non-monogamous individuals navigate their identities in a world built on heteronormative logics. Guided by symbolic interactionism, the purpose of this grounded theory study was to examine the intrapersonal processes of unlearning monogamy. In-depth interviews were conducted with 29 polyamorous participants, ranging in age from 22 to 43 years. We developed a grounded theory that explains unlearning monogamy as comprised of three cognitive processes (cultivating an abundance mindset; challenging rigid relationship categories; defying linear relationship progression) and three emotional processes (facing jealousy; learning compersion; accepting transience and impermanence). We discuss our findings in context of extant literature on romantic relationships, and we theorize our findings using a symbolic interactionist framework. We conclude with a discussion of implications for future research.

Keywords

intrapersonal processes non-monogamy polyamory relational scripts

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A grounded theory of unlearning monogamy: Polyamory and the deconstruction of dominant relational scripts

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