The present study examines greater use of the word “you” (i.e., you-talk) during couple’s conflict as linked to conflict behaviors and relational aggression. The way couples navigate relationship conflict is a key risk factor for relational aggression, and investigating conflict microprocesses can inform intervention efforts. In this study, 184 target participants (86 men, 98 women; 58% White, 29% African American, 8% mixed race/ethnicity, 5% other groups) were observed interacting with their parents at age 13 and with romantic partners at ages 20 and 27 to examine origins of you-talk usage and its links to romantic relationship dysfunction. Links were explored in a series of hierarchical linear regressions. Adverse conflict navigation behaviors established in one’s family-of-origin during adolescence (i.e., autonomy-relatedness undermining behavior) predicted target’s use of you-talk during conflict with their romantic partners at age 20. You-talk was concurrently associated with autonomy-relatedness undermining behavior and relational aggression, and you-talk in turn predicted a relative increase in both undermining behavior and relational aggression at age 27. Use of you-talk is discussed as disrupting key features of conflict navigation and having potential developmental origins which may serve as targets in efforts to reduce relational aggression.
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