Extending research on self-serving double moral standards (hypocrisy), we examine the reverse pattern of other-serving hypercrisy toward close relationship partners. In three studies (N = 1,019), for various imagined transgressions, people made more lenient moral judgments for their close friends (Studies 1 & 2) and romantic partners (Study 3) compared to themselves. This hypercrisy effect emerged both for transgressions toward third parties (Study 1) and toward each other (i.e., within the relationship; Studies 2 & 3). Moreover, it was moderated by perceptions of the relationship: Participants who more strongly believed their relationship to be a zero-sum game (i.e., needs can only be met competitively) showed greater leniency for themselves and attenuated hypercrisy for mutual transgressions (Studies 2 & 3). Investigating people’s close others rather than strangers as targets of moral judgment thus suggests that other-serving hypercrisy is more prevalent than previously thought, but sensitive to people’s conceptualizations of their relationships.
AmatoP. R.PrevitiD. (2003). People’s reasons for divorcing: Gender, social class, the life course, and adjustment. Journal of Family Issues, 24(5), 602–626. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X03254507
2.
AronA.AronE. N.TudorM.NelsonG. (1991). Close relationships as including other in the self. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60(2), 241–253. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.60.2.241
3.
BallietD.van LangeP. A. M. (2013). Trust, conflict, and cooperation: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 139(5), 1090–1112. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0030939
BocianK.BarylaW.WojciszkeB. (2020). Egocentrism shapes moral judgements. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, Articlee12572. https://doi.org/10.1111/spc3.12572
CrockerJ.CanevelloA. (2015). Relationships and the self: Egosystem and ecosystem. In MikulincerM.ShaverP. R.SimpsonJ. A.DovidioJ. F. (Eds.), APA handbook of personality and social psychology, Volume 3: Interpersonal relations (pp. 93–116). American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/14344-004
8.
CrockerJ.CanevelloA.LewisK. A. (2017). Romantic relationships in the ecosystem: Compassionate goals, nonzero-sum beliefs, and change in relationship quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 112(1), 58–75. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000076
9.
CrockerJ.OlivierM.-A.NuerN. (2009). Self-image goals and compassionate goals: Costs and benefits. Self and Identity, 8(2–3), 251–269. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860802505160
10.
DuX.LiuN.JiaQ.WuJ. (2019). Guilt proneness moderates the after-effects of ego depletion on hypocrisy. Personality and Individual Differences, 151, Article109516. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2019.109516
11.
EarpB. D.McLoughlinK. L.MonradJ.ClarkM. S.CrockettM. (2020, September18). How social relationships shape moral judgment. PsyArXiv. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/e7cgq
12.
EndeveltK.Schori-EyalN.HalperinE. (2021). Everyone should get the same, but we should get more: Group entitlement and intergroup moral double standard. Group Processes & Intergroup Relations, 24(3), 350–370. https://doi.org/10.1177/1368430219896618
GrahamJ.NosekB. A.HaidtJ.IyerR.KolevaS.DittoP. H. (2011). Mapping the moral domain. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 101(2), 366–385. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0021847
15.
HarasymchukC.WalkerD. L.MuiseA.ImpettE. A. (2021). Planning date nights that promote closeness: The roles of relationship goals and self-expansion. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 38(5), 1692–1709. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075211000436
16.
HesterN.GrayK. (2020). The moral psychology of raceless, genderless strangers. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 15(2), 216–230. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691619885840
17.
HofmannW.BrandtM. J.WisneskiD. C.RockenbachB.SkitkaL. J. (2018). Moral punishment in everyday life. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 44(12), 1697–1711. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167218775075
HollanderE. P. (1958). Conformity, status, and idiosyncrasy credit. Psychological Review, 65(2), 117–127. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0042501
20.
HughesJ.CreechJ. L.StrosserG. L. (2016). Attributions about morally unreliable characters: Relationship closeness affects moral judgments. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 38(4), 173–184. https://doi.org/10.1080/01973533.2016.1198979
21.
JordanJ. J.SommersR.BloomP.RandD. G. (2017). Why do we hate hypocrites? Evidence for a theory of false signaling. Psychological Science, 28(3), 356–368. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797616685771
22.
KammrathL. K.PeetzJ. (2012). You promised you’d change: How incremental and entity theorists react to a romantic partner’s promised change attempts. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 48(2), 570–574. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2011.10.015
23.
KarremansJ. C.van LangeP. A. M. (2004). Back to caring after being hurt: The role of forgiveness. European Journal of Social Psychology, 34(2), 207–227. https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.192
LammersJ.StapelD. A.GalinskyA. D. (2010). Power increases hypocrisy: Moralizing in reasoning, immorality in behavior. Psychological Science, 21(5), 737–744. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797610368810
26.
LarzelereR. E.HustonT. L. (1980). The dyadic trust scale: Toward understanding interpersonal trust in close relationships. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 42(3), 595–604. https://doi.org/10.2307/351903
McCulloughM. E.RachalK. C.SandageS. J.WorthingtonE. L.BrownS. W.HightT. L. (1998). Interpersonal forgiving in close relationships: II. Theoretical elaboration and measurement. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75(6), 1586–1603. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.75.6.1586
29.
McManusR. M.Kleiman-WeinerM.YoungL. (2020). What we owe to family: The impact of special obligations on moral judgment. Psychological Science, 31(3), 227–242. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797619900321
30.
MillsJ.ClarkM. S. (2001). Viewing close romantic relationships as communal relationships: Implications for maintenance and enhancement. In HarveyJ. H.WenzelA. (Eds.), Close romantic relationships: Maintenance and enhancement (pp. 13–25). Lawrence Erlbaum.
31.
MoninB.MerrittA. (2012). Moral hypocrisy, moral inconsistency, and the struggle for moral integrity. In MikulincerM.ShaverP. R. (Eds.), The social psychology of morality: Exploring the causes of good and evil (pp. 167–184). American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/13091-009
32.
MurrayS. L.PinkusR. T.HolmesJ. G.HarrisB.GomillionS.AloniM.DerrickJ. L.LederS. (2011). Signaling when (and when not) to be cautious and self-protective: Impulsive and reflective trust in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 101(3), 485–502. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0023233
33.
NicholsonS. B.LutzD. J. (2017). The importance of cognitive dissonance in understanding and treating victims of intimate partner violence. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 26(5), 475–492. https://doi.org/10.1080/10926771.2017.1314989
34.
PolmanE.RuttanR. L. (2012). Effects of anger, guilt, and envy on moral hypocrisy. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 38(1), 129–139. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167211422365
35.
RaiT. S.FiskeA. P. (2011). Moral psychology is relationship regulation: Moral motives for unity, hierarchy, equality, and proportionality. Psychological Review, 118(1), 57–75. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0021867
36.
RighettiF.BallietD.VissermanM.HofmannW. (2015). Trust and the suppression of emotions during sacrifice in close relationships. Social Cognition, 33(5), 505–519. https://doi.org/10.1521/soco.2015.33.5.505
37.
RusbultC. E.KumashiroM.FinkelE. J.WildschutT. (2002). The war of the roses: An interdependence analysis of betrayal and forgiveness. In NollerP.FeeneyJ. A. (Eds.), Understanding marriage: Developments in the study of couple interaction (pp. 251–282). Cambridge University Press. https://doi.org/10.1017/CBO9780511500077.014
SeltermanD.KolevaS. (2015). Moral judgment of close relationship behaviors. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 32(7), 922–945. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407514554513
40.
SeltermanD.MoorsA. C.KolevaS. (2018). Moral judgment toward relationship betrayals and those who commit them. Personal Relationships, 25(1), 65–86. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12228
41.
StaffordL.CanaryD. J. (2006). Equity and interdependence as predictors of relational maintenance strategies. The Journal of Family Communication, 6(4), 227–254. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327698jfc0604_1
42.
SteigerJ. H. (2004). Beyond the F test: Effect size confidence intervals and tests of close fit in the analysis of variance and contrast analysis. Psychological Methods, 9(2), 164–182. https://doi.org/10.1037/1082-989X.9.2.164
43.
ThompsonA. E.O’SullivanL. F. (2016). I can but you can’t: Inconsistencies in judgments of and experiences with infidelity. Journal of Relationships Research, 7, Articlee3. https://doi.org/10.1017/jrr.2016.1
ValdesoloP.DeStenoD. (2008). The duality of virtue: Deconstructing the moral hypocrite. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 44(5), 1334–1338. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2008.03.010
46.
VissermanM. L.RighettiF.KumashiroM.van LangeP. A. M. (2017). Me or us? Self-control promotes a healthy balance between personal and relationship concerns. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 8(1), 55–65. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550616662121
47.
WangX.ChenZ.PoonK. T.JiangT. (2021). Perceiving a lack of social justice: Lower class individuals apply higher moral standards to others. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 12(2), 186–193. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550619898558
48.
WaytzA.YoungL. (2018). Morality for us versus them. In GrayK.GrahamJ. (Eds.), Atlas of moral psychology (pp. 186–192). Guilford.
49.
WeidmanA. C.SowdenW. J.BergM. K.KrossE. (2020). Punish or protect? How close relationships shape responses to moral violations. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 46(5), 693–708. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167219873485
50.
WeissA.BurgmerP.MussweilerT. (2018). Two-faced morality: Distrust promotes diverging moral standards for the self versus others. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 44(12), 1712–1724. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167218775693
51.
WeissA.MichelsC.BurgmerP.MussweilerT.OckenfelsA.HofmannW. (2020). Trust in everyday life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000334
52.
WhitingJ. B.OkaM.FifeS. T. (2012). Appraisal distortions and intimate partner violence: Gender, power, and interaction. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 38(1), 133–149. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1752-0606.2011.00285.x
53.
WieselquistJ.RusbultC. E.FosterC. A.AgnewC. R. (1999). Commitment, pro-relationship behavior, and trust in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77(5), 942–966. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.77.5.942
54.
ZoppolatG.VissermanM. L.RighettiF. (2020). A nice surprise: Sacrifice expectations and partner appreciation in romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 37(2), 450–466. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407519867145
Supplementary Material
Please find the following supplemental material available below.
For Open Access articles published under a Creative Commons License, all supplemental material carries the same license as the article it is associated with.
For non-Open Access articles published, all supplemental material carries a non-exclusive license, and permission requests for re-use of supplemental material or any part of supplemental material shall be sent directly to the copyright owner as specified in the copyright notice associated with the article.
