Expanding intimacy theory: Vulnerable disclosures and partner responding

Abstract

Intimacy—a sense of closeness between individuals—is a fundamental component of healthy relationships and promotes mental and physical health. Theorists agree that intimacy increases when individuals’ vulnerable disclosures are met with partners’ supportive responses. The present research expands theory by examining two qualities of vulnerable disclosures that may alter their function within intimacy processes: (1) the extent to which the disclosure includes/implicates the partner and (2) the extent to which the disclosure describes specific, rather than general, vulnerable experiences. We hypothesized that specific, partner-exclusive vulnerable disclosures (i.e., disclosures that do not implicate the partner) would support proximal outcomes of intimacy processes (i.e., higher responsiveness and reinforcement and lower punishment). In contrast, specific partner-inclusive vulnerable disclosures (i.e., disclosures that implicate the partner in feelings of vulnerability) would be associated with lower perceived partner responsiveness and reinforcement and higher perceived punishment. Eighty-two cohabiting couples participated in two randomly assigned video-recorded vulnerability discussions (either partner-inclusive or -exclusive). Trained coders rated the extent to which the disclosing individual described their vulnerability specifically rather than generally. Couples then rated how responsive, reinforcing, and punishing their partner was during each discussion. Hypotheses were tested with multilevel modeling. Individuals perceived lower responsiveness and reinforcement and higher punishment when disclosing specific, partner-inclusive vulnerabilities compared to partner-exclusive vulnerabilities. Vulnerable disclosures function differently and can either support or hinder the intimacy process. To enhance relationship functioning, a more complete understanding of the intimacy process is imperative.