This article uses qualitative interviews with 135 Japanese in their 20s to discover the meanings and purposes they associate with tsukiau (“going steady”) relationships. Relating our findings to Sternberg's triangular theory of love, we find that all three components of intimacy, commitment, and passion are emphasized in tsukiau relationships, though in culturally specific ways. The findings suggest that in a society in which people marry later than before, dating relationships can be a new type of comfort zone for young Japanese adults redefining the boundaries of the “inner” and “outer” self, often replacing or displacing family ties as the context for displaying a backstage “true self.” The tsukiau relationship thus represents a transitional life stage for heterosexual Japanese young people.
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