Abstract
Parenthood challenges work–life balance, particularly where traditional gender norms persist. Despite policy advancements, disparities in income and career progression remain, with mothers disproportionately assuming childcare and household responsibilities. This study explored the impact of parenthood on professional and personal life through thirty semi-structured interviews with Portuguese mothers and fathers living in Portugal and seven other European countries. Thematic content analysis revealed a dual narrative shaped by gender norms and country contexts. Women perceived motherhood as a career barrier, with some reducing work hours or leaving the workforce to become primary caregivers. In contrast, men assumed the breadwinner role by increasing workloads. Parenthood also had gendered health implications: women, particularly in Portugal, experienced anxiety and guilt, whereas men described physical health effects. The findings underscore how parenthood perpetuates gender disparities, highlighting the need for equitable parental leave policies and workplace reforms that support caregiving responsibilities for both mothers and fathers.
Introduction
Parenting represents a crucial transition in a person’s lifespan. Although parenting arises from a biological ability to reproduce, it is shaped by the social norms and behavior models that regulate the roles and obligations of parents in a particular society. Hence, parenting is not a uniform experience for every individual.
Gender norms significantly affect the ways men and women engage in parenting (Doucette et al., 2021). The family is one of the most significant and robust social institutions, yet it also remains one of the most gender-biased. “Intensive mothering” is a deeply embedded ideology that underscores the link between the family structure and the asymmetrical gender-based expectations and power imbalances (Frosch et al., 2019). It is aligned with Hays’s perspective, describing the mother’s role “child-centered, expert-guided, emotionally absorbing, labor-intensive, and financially expensive” (Ennis, 2014; Langford, 2010). In contrast, the father has been described as the economic provider with a secondary role in childrearing (Dillaway & Paré, 2008).
The increasing presence of women in the labor market, particularly those who are mothers, has not only challenged traditional gender norms but also the traditional boundaries of gendered parental responsibilities, allowing women to pursue both career ambitions and personal fulfillment beyond motherhood and domestic duties (2015). In addition, governments and organizations have increasingly recognized the importance of supporting working mothers through policies such as maternity leave, paternity leave, and childcare support (Bastani et al., 2019), which have made it easier for women to reconcile work and family life.
However, working mothers experience further challenges in their work environments that can impact their career development, such as employment gaps due to maternity leave, inadequate resources to maintain competitiveness in their profession, and the need to shift to part-time work to meet childcare demands (Forbes et al., 2021). Statistical data indicates that employed women in OECD countries take an average of 65 weeks of leave from paid work after giving birth, while men take only 10 weeks (OECD 2024a). After taking parental leave, women tend to reduce their working hours, while men tend to return to full-time work (OECD 2024b). In 2022, the employment rate for women with children was 73.7% (5% lower than women without children), contrasting with the 91% employment rate among men with children (8.5% higher than men without children).
These different working time arrangements determine wages and career progression. The cost associated with motherhood is generally anticipated to lead to a reduction of 5% to 10% per child (Gough & Noonan, 2013). These gaps can be caused by horizontal and vertical segregation (women’s over-representativeness in lower-paying jobs or under-representativeness in more advantageous positions within the organizational hierarchy) (Carranza et al., 2023).
Despite working, on average, fewer hours of paid work than men, women spend a disproportionate amount of time on household duties and dependents’ care, regardless of their cultural background or country of residence (Gaëlle Ferrant, 2014). In the EU, women perform, on average, six fewer hours of paid work but 13 additional hours of unpaid work compared to men, resulting in a total of seven more hours worked per week (European, C., J. Directorate-General for and Consumers, 2018). Portugal has the highest rate of women in Europe who engage in intensive domestic work (36% of Portuguese women) or childcare (50%). Moreover, the disparity in overall working hours is significantly more pronounced in Portugal, where women work an additional 10 hours each week compared to men, with only two fewer hours of paid work and 12 more hours of unpaid work (Heloísa Perista et al., 2016).
The persistent gendered divisions of household responsibilities and employment patterns may disproportionately affect women, despite progress in gender roles, leading to a higher risk of work-family conflict and poorer health outcomes, including mental distress such as anxiety and depression, especially in social contexts where intensive mothering ideology is still prevailing. Therefore, it is important to explore and compare the experiences and challenges of parenthood from the perspective of women and men living in countries with different social and political contexts.
Balance Between Work And Parenthood: Theoretical Background
The literature concerning the work–life balance, pre- and post-parenthood, encompasses a broad range of academic disciplines. A paradigm shift can be identified from early perspectives, which characterized professional and personal domains as distinct and separate domains, to contemporary approaches that emphasize their interconnectedness.
Research initially focused on exploring how individuals, especially women, managed paid and unpaid work. Dubin’s Segmentation Theory (1956) hypothesized that each domain’s effects were separated by boundaries, resulting in no impact on the outcomes of the other domain (Dubin, 1956). This perspective was derived from the notion that a worker who allows family matters to disrupt work was not an ideal worker, thus individuals must suppress family-related emotions and concerns at their workplace and vice versa (Piotrkowski, 1980). In its earlier form, segmentation was perceived to occur along a natural or physical boundary, but contemporary authors indicate that it could also be an active psychosocial process (Roy, 2016).
Parsons’s gender-oriented labor model (1959) emphasized fathers as instrumental leaders responsible for providing economic support, and mothers as attuned to the emotional needs of their children and responsible for childcare and housework (Parsons, 1959). Despite its historical influence, this perspective inadequately addressed the evolving gender roles and the variations across cultural and policy contexts. The Effort hypothesis and the Human Capital Theory posited that mothers tend to dedicate less effort to work obligations in comparison to household and childcare responsibilities, leading to diminished productivity levels and lower wages relative to men or childless women (Becker, 1985). While useful in explaining wage gaps, this theory assumed voluntary trade-offs without considering structural barriers such as discrimination, workplace biases, and the societal expectation of intensive mothering.
In line with these theories, the Conflict Theory underscored the incompatibility of work and family demands (Greenhaus & Beutell, 1985), overlooking potential benefits of work-family integration. From a gender-neutral perspective, the authors have identified the conflicting roles of being a parent and an employee among career couples based on time, strain, and behavior-based conflict (Greenhaus & Beutell, 1985). Similarly, Wilensky’s Spillover Theory proposed that attitudes and behaviors experienced in one domain can manifest similarly in another domain, either positively or negatively (Wilensky, 1960). In this regard, Pleck (1995) identified gender spillover patterns whereby women’s work is more affected by family life, whilst men experience the opposite (Pleck, 1995).
More contemporary perspectives focus on the fluidity and adaptability of work-family boundaries. Border and Boundary Theories explored how individuals move daily between various life domains, adjusting their focus and interpersonal strategies to meet the demands of work and non-work domains (Desrochers & Sargent, 2004). Compensation Theory suggested that individuals strive for fulfillment of unmet needs in one area by seeking satisfaction in another (Edwards & Rothbard, 2000). While these theories may provide a possible explanation for the tendency of individuals to increase their involvement in other roles in response to unsatisfactory work or family conditions, they do not sufficiently address the societal expectations that shape these decisions. Within the context of motherhood, the Compensating Differentials theory posited that mothers are often willing to accept lower wages in exchange for mother-friendly job characteristics, such as part-time and flexible schedules, to better integrate childcare and paid work (Becker, 1985).
In the late 20th century, attitudes toward researching parenthood and work shifted. Based on the Enrichment Theory, Beck and Beck-Gernsheim proposed that both male and female parents may strive for a work–life balance that prioritizes the parent-child relationship (Beck & Beck-Gernsheim, 2002). This perspective contributed to the growing recognition of child-parent relationships as enriching and potentially longer-lasting than both marriage and career. However, despite its role in redefining fatherhood, the perception of a balanced working father still largely conforms to the conventional breadwinner role (Doucet, 2018). Research conducted in the United States has demonstrated that individuals who do not conform to traditional gender roles are subject to negative evaluations (Prentice & Carranza, 2002). For instance, Brescoll and Uhlmann found that employed fathers were viewed more positively by the general public than stay-at-home fathers, while working mothers were more negatively evaluated compared to stay-at-home mothers (Brescoll & Uhlmann, 2005).
The concept of work–life balance has increasingly been associated with individual’s and family’s well-being (Eby et al., 2005) and negatively associated with psychological strain and work-related stress (Haar et al., 2014). However, there remains a gap in analyzing the intersectionality of well-being, gender, and work–life balance during the post-parenthood transition, particularly in different cultural and societal contexts. Addressing this gap, the present study aimed to investigate the impact of parenthood on the personal and professional lives of 30 Portuguese mothers and fathers living in Portugal, a southern European country with a traditionally conservative approach to family life, but with progressive policies (Marques et al., 2021), and in seven other European countries. Specifically, it explored the short-term impact of parenthood on income, career development, work–life balance, and well-being, as well as the perceptions regarding the adequacy and effectiveness of policies that support families with children. By contrasting parents’ narratives and lived experiences, this qualitative research contributes to evidence-based policymaking and a more nuanced understanding of work–life balance beyond deterministic theoretical models.
Method
This study employed a qualitative research design to explore the mothers’ and fathers’ professional and personal lives and well-being after parenthood. The qualitative approach is recognized in the literature as appropriate for obtaining a comprehensive view on the norms, motivations, and values of actors. It considers how broader social contexts, including country, time, social class, and social actions, shape outcomes (Silva & Fraga, 2012). In keeping with this approach, the use of in-depth semi-structured interviews was considered the most suitable method of data collecting, as it allows interviewees to express their own perspective, without the strict format imposed by structured interviews (Adams, 2015).
This study was part of the MERIT-MothER Income InequaliTy project, which was promoted by the Portuguese Commission for Citizenship and Gender Equality and funded by the EEA Grants. The main objective of the project was to research the impact of parenthood on the income of both mothers and fathers. To enhance comprehension of this impact and recognize parenthood as a multidimensional phenomenon, diverse methodologies have been used, combining quantitative and qualitative approaches (Leão et al., 2024).
Participants
Fifteen mothers and 15 fathers of dual-income households with dependent children took part in the qualitative study. We conducted interviews with parents of children up to the age of seven to ensure that their experiences were shared while reducing memory biases (Gemignani, 2014). Additionally, caring for young children is highly demanding and time-consuming, which may lead to increased levels of conflict between work and personal life. We included Portuguese citizens living in Portugal and abroad in several European countries to comprehend if and how individuals’ perspectives and strategies for work–life balance may vary based on the macro contexts. The following inclusion criteria were thus established: (1) having at least one child, (2) the first child being under the age of seven, (3) living with the child at least 50% of the time, (4) having been in paid employment since the birth of the first child, and (5) having Portuguese nationality.
Participants were recruited through the snowballing method, that is, initial participants were identified from the research team’s contacts and the subsequent sample was built by asking them for further participants (Naderifar et al., 2017). To ensure the confidentiality required for the collection of data that may be perceived as sensitive or intimate, any prior contact between the participants and the research team was excluded. The final sample met the methodological requirement of sample saturation, the point where no further codes, dimensions, or insights into issues could be identified (Hennink & Kaiser, 2022).
This study relied on purposive sampling, wherein eligible participants were recruited based on their potential to provide valuable data to achieve the research objectives and enhance the following profiles: mothers living in Portugal, mothers living outside Portugal, fathers living in Portugal, and fathers living outside Portugal. Parents were aged between 27 and 42 years, with 53% having one child and the rest having two children. Ninety per cent of the participants had tertiary-level education. Although not a prerequisite for participation in the study, each interviewee was in an opposite-sex relationship with the biological father or mother of their children. Half of the sample were parents of the same child or children. Parents living in the following countries were interviewed: Portugal (seven fathers and seven mothers), Sweden (one father and one mother), Norway (one father and one mother), Germany (one father and two mothers), the United Kingdom (UK) (two fathers and two mothers), the Netherlands (one father), Italy (one father and one mother), and Spain (one father and one mother). The interviewees who have emigrated have lived outside of Portugal for at least 5 years, with an average of 10 years.
Data Collection
An initial contact explained the aims and methodology of the study and clarified any doubts. After the confirmation of interest to participate, participants were emailed the informed consent and the participant characterization questionnaire. This questionnaire was designed to complement the qualitative data with specific sociodemographic information, namely, the number, age and sex of children, marital status, level of education, job title, type of contract, and number of working hours.
Interview Guide
The topic guide was pre-tested to check for length and clarity. The interviews were conducted individually, at a time and date determined by the participants. All participants preferred to be interviewed online (via the Zoom platform). The interviews were conducted in Portuguese and had an average duration of 50 minutes. Audio and video recordings were made, with consent, to enhance the accuracy of the transcription and data analysis process. Interviews were transcribed verbatim. Recordings were deleted following transcription.
Data Analysis
The interviews started to be analyzed during data collection to inform about saturation. A thematic content analysis was conducted. The analysis process involved a structured coding approach, combining inductive and deductive methods to ensure a comprehensive interpretation of the data (Bradley et al) and was performed using Nvivo 14®.
Initially, an inductive approach was applied allowing themes and categories to emerge organically from the transcripts, following principles of grounded theory (Service, 2008). Open coding was used to assign labels to meaningful units of text, capturing participants’ lived experiences, challenges, and perceptions. Recurring patterns were identified, and similar codes were grouped into preliminary thematic categories.
In a second stage, a deductive approach was employed to refine and structure these emerging themes based on theoretical models of work–life balance (Neuman, 2000). The inductively generated codes were analyzed in relation to established frameworks such as Conflict Theory, Segmentation Theory, and Border Theory, enabling an analysis of patterns and variations in participants’ experiences. Codes were refined, merged, or reclassified to ensure coherence and alignment with theoretical perspectives.
A coding framework was iteratively developed to organize the themes into main themes and sub-themes, considering their conceptual relationships. A within-case (horizontal) analysis was conducted to explore themes within individual interviews, while a cross-case (vertical) analysis was performed to compare narratives across participants, identifying gendered differences, country-specific patterns, and variations in work–life balance strategies (Hennink & Kaiser, 2022). Once thematic saturation was achieved, illustrative quotes were selected to represent the key findings. The quotes were translated from Portuguese into English. To maintain the confidentiality of the participants, codes were assigned instead of identifiable information.
Ethical Considerations
Ethical approval was granted, and data collection and storage were monitored by the Data Protection Team of the Institute of Public Health of the University of Porto. Participants were informed that their participation was voluntary and unpaid and that they could refuse to participate at any time. Information such as name or address was not relevant to the study and was not collected to protect privacy. The entire process adhered to the Declaration of Helsinki (Association, 1964).
Results
Differences emerged between participants in terms of the perceived impact of motherhood and fatherhood on their income, career development, work–life balance and well-being, as well as the efficacy of policies designed to provide support to working parents. The findings are presented with a focus on highlighting these variations.
The Impact of Motherhood: Managing Multiple Roles as Mothers, Wives, and Employees
Mothers interviewed reported potential direct or indirect losses in income and/or halts in career progression after motherhood. These losses were mainly recognized by interviewees with family-oriented profiles, who formally reduced their working hours to part-time employment or exited the labor market completely. But they were also recognized by mothers who aimed to balance their careers with family responsibilities, as they needed to adapt their workday schedule to accommodate children’s needs, extracurricular activities, and medical appointments, avoid remote work during off-hours, weekends, and evenings, or limit their business travel. We decided as a couple that I would give up a career because there were fewer opportunities for me than there were for him. And it really made sense, and I also wanted to be a mother, so it wasn't a difficult decision. My real job now is the girls. (P17 - Mother living in Germany) Now I must miss work because whenever my daughter is sick, I am the one who misses it, so maybe that also counts as an impact on income. (P04 - Mother living in Portugal)
The profile of mothers who strive to balance both their full-time professional job duties with additional childcare responsibilities was mostly evident in the statements of mothers living in Portugal. They believed women are expected to: “be mothers as if we were not workers and we must be workers as if we were not mothers” (P02 - Mother living in Portugal).
A mother, who works as a talent acquisition specialist in Portugal, compared the demands of her role as a mother and that of a father. Her husband works as an international driver with extended periods away from home, leaving her solely responsible for their child’s care, despite her full-time job. Her daily life description reported: “a frenetic pace (…) not an hour of rest. I think it's harder than I can ever describe. It is a great weight and responsibility that I feel as a mother, it is not comparable to the responsibility that a father has.” (P02 - Mother living in Portugal).
The work–life balance strategies used by women interviewed in Portugal may result in a significant burden. Mothers reported experiencing strong feelings, such as anxiety, due to the overlapping of their work and childcare responsibilities, and guilt, when they believe they are failing as mothers as their work obligations interfere with their childcare duties. I feel a bit of pressure that I think I'm putting on myself because my daughter is older and still breastfeeding. But I think it's me judging myself. When I leave those two hours of breastfeeding, I know it's going to be really hard for me because I feel so anxious about her spending so many hours in the nursery. (P10 - Mother living in Portugal) We feel the need for the routine of work and then we feel enormous guilt for wanting to go to work and leave the children. It's being close to them and then it's being away from home from morning to night. It is a mix of wanting to work and feeling guilty. (P01 - Mother living in Portugal)
The support of extended family members, particularly parents or parents-in-law, proved to be a key strategy in achieving a favorable balance. This network enabled them to work for longer hours and to pursue other activities that enhance their overall well-being. My boyfriend works long hours and if I didn't have the support of my in-laws and my mother, I wouldn't have any free time. I would just be a worker and a mother. (P04 - Mother living in Portugal)
Some women interviewed outside of Portugal also shared their experiences of motherhood negatively impacting their work. One of them, who has lived in Italy for 7 years, stated that throughout her career, as a working mother, she has not reduced her workload or taken any breaks from work, except for maternity leave. As a result, she believed that she did not experience any immediate effects of motherhood. Nonetheless, she asserted that she could have obtained her most recent promotion sooner if had she not become a mother: If I didn’t have my son, I would probably work a lot harder and have more time to achieve my goals. And now that I'm a mother, I realise that beyond the macho mentality of companies, there are few women who reach high levels because they choose to devote themselves to their families. They don’t progress like many men who are more available. (P21 - Mother living in Italy)
Alternatively, some mothers have reported a change in the work and family balance narrative, with childcare becoming a higher priority than work obligations. This was the case of an interviewee who had been employed at a call center in Spain for 5 years. Following the birth of her first child, she opted to cut back her working hours, leading to a proportional reduction in her income: There were months when I worked 12–14 hours a day. I lived only for work. After becoming a mother, my priorities have changed. Now I've asked for a reduction in my working hours, and the pay cut is based on the number of hours you ask for. (P22 - Mother living in Spain)
A deep commitment to the idea of intensive motherhood was clear in some women interviewed living abroad. Two women living in Germany stated that dedicating oneself to full-time motherhood can be as fulfilling and pleasurable as pursuing a successful professional career. This perception was linked to the recognition of a gendered work–life social pattern, with women reducing their work hours or exiting the labor market after childbirth, while men tend to strive professionally. These highly qualified women acknowledged motherhood’s impact on work as being neither positive nor negative, but an inevitable life stage. This highlights the relevance of the geographic, cultural, and social context on the way these interviewees assimilate motherhood. When they [women in Germany] are mothers, they get part-time jobs so that they can work in the morning and pick up their children from kindergarten or school in the afternoon. But it's very common here in Berlin, whether Portuguese, American or... it's very common for women not to work and for their husbands to work. (P17 - Mother living in Germany) I have never had ambitions to be the best, or to make a lot of money. Maybe if I were a man, society would expect me to be more ambitious and I would fulfil that role. (P18 - Mother living in Germany)
During the interviews, it was identified that biological differences between men and women were perceived as one factor contributing to the gendered view on who should reduce the professional sphere to answer to the family demands. It's the fact that we can have children, and they [men] can't that means we have to stop working at some point. (P17 - Mother living in Germany)
A mother in the United Kingdom also reflected on the impact of gender role stereotypes on her attitudes and behaviors. As the highest earner and working the longest paid hours, she identified more with a career-focused role, while her partner identified with a family-oriented role. Although she currently accepted her role in providing for her family financially, she had previously expressed concerns that her commitment to work may not align with societal expectations for a mother: I have the luxury of having a partner who manages to be the central person for our child. I made peace with the fact a long time ago we changed the roles that society thinks a mother and a father have, it was quite natural and organic. I think sometimes other people find it funny. (P20 - Mother in the UK)
Some interviewees living abroad expressed frustration with the lack of family support, particularly when their Portuguese relatives were far away, or their partner’s family were not closely connected. The absence of family may pose challenges in assuming additional work responsibilities and balancing them with family commitments. However, these interviewees often reported using professional childcare services (babysitters) or assistance from friends and neighbors, which were not mentioned by the interviewees living in Portugal. Furthermore, the job prospects and the living conditions in the host country compensate for the lack of extended family support. Other advantages included increased autonomy in raising their children, especially within circumstances where there might be diverging beliefs or values. When a child is sick, when I have more work to do, it would be nice to have that kind of support. And it's something I complain about regularly when I'm a bit more tired. But here it is possible for me to have the career of my dreams. (P16 - Mother living in the UK) After work we have a babysitter who works 1-2 times a week. Although it is not essential, it was our wish to have a little time to ourselves and do things in a more relaxed way. (P18 - Mother living in Germany)
The Impact of Fatherhood: the Transition from Breadwinner Role to Child Commitment
Fatherhood was perceived as associated with a positive impact on income and career prospects, in both men’s and women’s narratives. Some interviewees believed that fathers continue (or are expected) to assume the increased financial demands of the new family structure. For this reason, some fathers searched for higher-paying jobs to fulfill the conventional role of the breadwinner, while others reported higher levels of intensive work, with longer working hours, unstable schedules, and additional employment to cope with financial constraints. The latter was commonly mentioned in Portugal. The financial issue was important to me. I wanted to earn more because I knew I would have that pressure. So, I moved to a job where I could earn more. (P24 - Father living in Germany) I work 60 hours a week, including weekends and my second job. I work really hard, yes. (P14 - Father living in Portugal)
In this context, some fathers noted that childrearing demanded adjusting and compromising time management, similarly to the experiences reported by mothers. However, their primary focus on their jobs increased the likelihood of work-related duties encroaching on their personal lives and blurring the boundaries between the two. To maintain my performance at work, I had to cut back a little on everything else. This meant spending a little less time at home, for example, because I was having trouble sleeping at night. (P14 - Father living in Portugal)
Due to the increased work demands and to the conflicting demands between work and family life, fathers were aware of the adverse effects of their lifestyle on their health and well-being. One father, working more than 40 weekly hours, described feeling “very close to burnout” (P14 - Father living in Portugal), while others assumed to have adopted risk behaviors after becoming fathers, such as careless eating and reduced physical activity, due to the lack of free time and tiredness. I’ve put on a lot of weight. I don’t know if it’s emotional, it depends on the diet. Then the work-home thing. But my daughter is full of energy and the work is also very demanding. (P12 - Father living in Portugal)
Male interviewees also recognized the significant role of their extended family, just like female interviewees, especially those living in Portugal, Spain, and Italy. Yet, an interviewee in Portugal mentioned that he felt that this support was expected to be reciprocated, namely, with the care of older family members, which may coincide with the need to provide childcare, increasing the burden of private demands. The help of the maternal grandparents allows us to manage things differently, because they stay with the baby and help us during non-school hours (P28 - Father living in Italy) My mother has health problems now, something serious, she is in an elderly home. So, I must go with her to appointments and it's always a fuss. (P13 - Father living in Portugal)
Contrary to some interviewees’ perception that fathers are exclusively devoted to their careers, a small group of fathers emphasized their attempts to balance work responsibilities with attentive parenting. A clear example was that of a father living abroad: he admitted a decline in his productivity and income but regarded it as an inevitable outcome of fatherhood. He felt a higher identification with fathering: What they're telling me here is that fatherhood is part of our lives, it's part of our careers. Performance at work, I don't think it's the same thing, but I see being a father as part of life and not something negative, something that will affect my career. It will always affect the career, and the income will never be the same for a few years. (P26 - Father living in Norway)
A father in Portugal recognized the all-consuming nature of his and his partner’s work lives. Both he and his partner are employed as researchers at public universities. He recognized the pressure and stress to maintain productivity, and the necessity for extended work hours, despite acknowledging that work provides a significant source of fulfillment for both. Parenthood marked a significant turning point, leading them to reconsider the work–life boundary and adopt a more family-oriented approach to managing time and energy. Although he remained resolute in his decision, he expressed concerns about his current job performance: “There are times when you feel like you are committing professional suicide” (P10 - Father living in Portugal). This father represented the ambivalence that recent work–life balance theories about the new fathering ideal have portrayed.
Although the women interviewed may tolerate an imbalanced distribution of household chores, even if they were the ones primarily affected, one of the men interviewed did not share the same sentiment. A father living in Spain, who saw himself to have acted as the primary caregiver in the couple, regarded it as an unjustly experienced distress and opted for the end of the relationship. I was not happy with the way the housework was shared. The burden of housework and childcare fell much more on me. And that was the reason why I separated, for myself, for my health, and for the health of my children. (P30 - Father living in Spain)
Workplace and Family Support Policies: The Differences Between Mothers and Fathers in Access and Use
Overall, the interviewed parents expressed satisfaction with how they were treated in the workplace after childbirth. They were excused from overseas work travels, given extended time frames for delivering work, and had priority in holiday planning over colleagues without children. Additionally, mothers were excused from participating in physically demanding tasks. However, according to the interviewees, employers’ positive discrimination does not benefit male employees with children in the same way as it does women, with support measures being predominantly used by women. There is still a certain sensitivity with women. I don't notice it with men. If they must send a lawyer out of town for a week, they'll do it, regardless of whether he has a baby and the wife is home alone, because he's a man. (P01 - Mother living in Portugal) My husband would have done the same as me [reduce the workload]. But it would have been harder to sell it to the boss. After all, there is such a prejudice: the man works, the woman stays at home. (P18 - Mother living in Germany)
Work flexibility, while highly valued by the parents interviewed, was not experienced equally. Female interviewees living in Germany, England, and Spain, who reduced their working hours after becoming mothers, mentioned that they chose employment positions based on stability, flexibility and how they facilitate work–life balance. If the required level of flexibility was not provided, they would consider pursuing alternative career options. I was working full time, and I asked not to work nights and the service I was in said I couldn't. I asked to work fixed days and stop working shifts so I could pay less for childcare, and they refused. So, I decided to move to another hospital that would give me the hours I wanted. (P20 - Mother living in England)
One interviewee mentioned that her appreciation of workplace flexibility was due to her role as a mother. She explained that if she had not been a mother, she might have chosen a more ambitious and riskier career that did not offer the same level of stability and adaptability. If I hadn't been a mother? I might have taken more risks. I've been in the same office for 10 years. And there are times when I think “it’s time to look for something else,” but I’m afraid to leave and find an office that doesn't give me the comfort I have now. (P18 - Mother living in Germany)
Working from home was also deemed beneficial for mothers outside of Portugal, as it enables them to manage multiple tasks in their daily lives, despite compromising the boundaries between work and family. Luckily, I'm still working from home. So, what I do in my breaks, instead of eating, is sometimes clean the house, take care of things, so that in the afternoon I can just be with my children. (P22 - Mother living in Spain)
If male interviewees benefit from any workplace flexibility measures, they may feel obligated to reciprocate or compensate their employers to ensure trust and flexibility in future occasions. If I miss work to stay at home and help, or if I come in later, or if I change my days off, I feel I must show that I deserve it so that there are no repercussions. Whenever I can, I spend a little more time at work. (P14 - Father living in Portugal)
Formal macro and workplace measures may not coincide with the existing workplace culture and the capacity to benefit from them. One father living in Portugal recalled an event where his wife faced discrimination in the recruitment process for a new job opportunity, because “she thought it would make sense to tell the company she was going to work for that she was pregnant. And they decided not to continue with the recruitment process. That was when I realized the inequality between father and mother” (P12 - Father living in Portugal). Similarly, when one of the mothers living in Portugal found out she was pregnant, she feared losing the company she had recently joined. This was not the case, but her distress was clear: My first reaction was to apologise to my boss. And if they wanted to fire me, I would understand perfectly. I didn't expect that, I cried, I apologised. (P02 - Mother living in Portugal)
A male physiotherapist, employed by a sports team in Portugal, drew attention to the risks of loss of employment due to maternity leave or to the incapacity of mothers to face the high workload and expected availability in some sectors: Things still must evolve, unfortunately, for a woman who is a physiotherapist and works in sports to be able to be a mother and return to the same place after months of maternity leave. You’re working almost every day, away games, always having to be available for the athletes, I don’t think it’s easy. (P14 - Father living in Portugal)
None of the men or women living outside Portugal reported experiencing discrimination in job recruitment or upkeep based on parenthood. In fact, a mother, who migrated to Norway 10 years ago, exemplified the reverse scenario: Being a mother is not seen as a negative thing here. For example, I was on maternity leave until July, and they hired me in February to start in August. This is something that I think would hardly happen if I were there [in Portugal]. (P19 - Mother living in Norway)
Dissatisfaction with the meagre amount of paid leave was noted among parents living in Portugal, Spain, and Italy. The interviewees advocated prolonging the length of both maternity and paternity leave. Mothers grounded their reasons on the length of time to breastfeed (minimum and recommended), while fathers focused on how these leaves could enhance the mother and child’s well-being: Ideally, a baby should be breastfed for up to 6 months. Here, in Portugal, that doesn’t happen. They eat soup for 3–4 months because most mothers finish maternity leave after 4 months. And babies can’t be breastfed exclusively with their mothers at work. (P05 - Mother living in Portugal)
Interviewees living in the United Kingdom, Germany, Norway, and Sweden discussed the financial compensation for parental leave. They noted that the payment during the leave period may not match the father’s regular salary due to the definition of an upper limit, which may discourage some fathers from taking the leave: My husband was going to receive an amount below his salary, so I asked him: “Do you want to take the leave?” and he said “No, I don't want to.” His company was doing very well, he had a lot of responsibilities. The baby was born on a Monday, and he was at work on Tuesday. He took only a day off, which is required by law. (P17 - Mother living in Germany)
Some interviewees emphasized the role of the employer in providing additional paid leave days, which led them to compare public and private sector investment in their current country of residence with Portugal’s policies to protect working parents: In terms of government support... I think Portugal is better. But the UK makes up for this with private sector opportunities, particularly in larger companies that offer programs to address state-related issues. While Portugal may have an edge in the public sector, the private sector in the UK seems to be slightly better. (P25 - Father living in the UK)
In all the countries analyzed, it is legally permissible to share parental leave in addition to the leave specifically allocated to mothers and fathers. However, in this sample, mothers benefited more from this support measure than fathers. To better understand the discrepancy in the utilization of leave, parents were asked how they decided to share the leave. The justifications were based on what was optimal for the child’s development, such as breastfeeding and bonding with the mother, or the working father’s career progression. It was observed that in certain instances, both parents were not involved in the decision-making process, with the mother assuming the primary role in the decision. I decided to take the full leave. We thought it was more logical because of breastfeeding. (P19 - Mother living in Norway) I took the minimum leave. Unfortunately, I was not the one who made the decision. It was the mother who decided for me, and that seems fair to me. I think babies need mothers more at first. (P16 - Father living in Norway)
Two couples interviewed, one living in Sweden and the other in Portugal, stood out for their desire to share parental leave equally, despite it not aligning with the expectations of their extended families. It is expected that the mother will always be the primary caregiver. In that sense, it's sometimes surprising for our family in Portugal that my boyfriend is now going to be with the child most of the time, most of the time? I wouldn't say it will be half and half of our leave, but it will be close to that. (P15 - Mother living in Sweden)
A father living in Portugal faced significant bureaucratic challenges when choosing to divide the parental leave period equally. This example highlighted a discrepancy between current Portuguese legislation and service responses: The decision to take equal leave was taken immediately. The difficulty was to operationalise it. (…) I was always answered by women [working at the Social Security offices] who said: “But why do you want to take your wife’s leave days?” and I answered: “The daughter is mine too.” (…) In the end we got our leave approved. The person who helped us was a younger man and he said: “This is the first time anyone has asked me this question. From a legal point of view, there is no doubt that you have the right to do this. But the materials we work with are not adapted to this.” (P10 - Father living in Portugal)
During the interviews, participants expressed concerns about childcare services, specifically regarding the lack of available places and high costs. The mismatch between the expiration of parental leave and the eligibility of their children for early childhood education and care was a factor of concern. Only those living in Norway expressed satisfaction with the government’s support. In Portugal, the government’s endeavor to provide free school access for all children received appreciation from certain interviewees. However, they have also observed the challenges and anxiety they face in trying to find a place for their children. To tackle this situation, they employed strategies such as applying to schools several months before their child’s birth. If their leave ends before they secure a place, the mother may choose to use her holiday days to take care of the child at home. My wife took all her holidays so she could stay at home with the baby until he went to childcare. (P08 - Father living in Portugal)
Some interviewees living in the United Kingdom and the Netherlands reported finding it more financially profitable for a couple if one parent forgoes income, instead of paying for childcare, particularly during the child’s toddler years. It is acknowledged that mothers are more likely to leave their jobs, partly due to “cultural expectations” (P16 - Mother living in the UK). In comparison to the Portuguese scenario, the emigrant interviewees considered it to be more affordable to enroll a child in a Portuguese daycare center: I think Portugal is much better in this respect because there are several options in terms of childcare that people on average salaries can afford. Here it's very bad. (P16 - Mother living in the UK)
Some mothers expressed experiencing stress due to the mismatch between their working hours and the reduced opening hours of childcare facilities. As a result, this mother felt obligated to balance her paid and unpaid work hours with Germany’s childcare provision: They ask parents to pick up the kids early from childcare, no later than 3 pm. The minimum time a child must be in childcare is five hours, so there are mothers who don't work, and the state says: “We're not going to spend any more money on this child's care because he has a parent at home who is available to do the rest of the care.” (P18 - Mother living in Germany)
Discussion
Balancing work and family is one of the most pressing challenges faced by parents, shaping their careers, family dynamics, and overall well-being. This study identified four distinct profiles among the interviewed parents: two aligned with traditional gender roles, while two reflected a greater attempt to balance professional and family responsibilities. On one hand, mothers living outside Portugal and fathers, particularly those in Portugal, followed patterns traditionally associated with caregiving and breadwinning, respectively. Mothers living abroad withdrew from the labor market or reduced their working hours, leading to a decline in income. Fathers in Portugal, in contrast, intensified their professional commitments after becoming parents, which resulted in career advancements, including higher pay and improved professional trajectories, albeit at the expense of their well-being. On the other hand, mothers in full-time employment in Portugal and fathers, both in Portugal and abroad, who actively sought to reconcile professional and family responsibilities, deviated from traditional gender norms. However, these two profiles experienced different consequences. Mothers in Portugal reported career stagnation due to childcare-related absences, work–life conflict, and poorer well-being, expressing guilt and anxiety about their dual role. In contrast, fathers who pursued a more engaged parenting role did not perceive negative consequences for their career progression or well-being, suggesting that work-family balance remains more challenging for women than for men.
These results uncover significant sociocultural and gender patterns. Mothers living in Portugal experienced the greatest pressure associated with motherhood, allocating more time caring to childcare and expressing greater confidence in their abilities as mothers than their male partners, while maintaining their commitment to full-time paid employment. Mothers living in other countries, such as Germany and Spain, approached caregiving differently, reducing their work commitments either by working fewer hours or temporarily leaving the workforce. In contrast to interviewees living in Portugal, who reported experiencing pressures to support their families’ financial needs, these women were less constrained by such demands. This discrepancy could be attributed to the potential perception of their spouses’ higher earning capacity, which could offer these women greater flexibility to prioritize caregiving responsibilities. In contrast to mothers in Portugal, their decisions align with the Conflict Theory’s premise, which posits that the pursuit of personal fulfillment in one domain requires the sacrifice of another (Greenhaus & Beutell, 1985).
These findings align with broader statistical trends (Eurostat, 2024). In Europe, Portugal boasts one of the lowest rates of female part-time employment—only 10% (Eurostat, 2024). According to the literature, women tend to remain committed to their employment following motherhood when there is a financial need to contribute to their families, even if it is only a supplementary source of income (Landivar, 2020). Portugal’s disposable household income, which includes income from work, financial investments, property, and social benefits, falls about 80% below the European Union average (OECD 2024a), further reinforcing women’s continued workforce. However, the financial costs of opting out remain substantial, as research by Rose & Hartmann (Rose et al., 2004) found that taking a two to 3-year career break can decrease women’s earnings by around 30%.
Theoretical frameworks concerning the connection between employment and women’s mental health suggest that income stability improves well-being. However, the double burden of professional and private demands, especially considering the cultural and social norms that position women as primary caregivers, weakens the protective effect of income (Blood Jr. & Wolfe, 1960). When the demands of paid work conflict with the time needed to devote to the family, especially in the absence of childcare or extended family support, employed mothers reported emotional distress. Consequently, mothers in Portugal in full-time employment were more prone to feelings of guilt, pressure, and anxiety due to their inability to fulfill their duties as workers, mothers, and wives. Mothers also reported dissatisfaction with the unequal division of household chores with their male partners yet recognized this arrangement as necessary for their family’s financial stability.
Although employer perspectives were not directly assessed in this study, existing literature suggests that biases persist regarding mothers’ workplace commitment and productivity. These biases, often implicit, result in discriminatory practices that hinder recruitment, promotions, and task assignment (Correll et al., 2007). Such structural barriers contribute to career stagnation and increase maternal stress, reinforcing perceptions among working mothers that their professional growth is constrained.
Regarding fathers, there were more similarities than differences between those living in Portugal and abroad. Financial considerations were central in determining job selection and working hours, with most fathers prioritizing career stability over work–life balance. Being a responsible father seems compatible with being a responsible employee, or even complementary, which aligns with some theories posited by labor economics (de Linde Leonard & Stanley, 2015). Unlike their female partners, none of the male interviewees reduced their working hours upon becoming parents. Instead, some displayed a greater level of dedication by working harder or changing jobs to improve their income. In Portugal, several fathers took on demanding roles requiring long hours, constant availability, or business travel. While these commitments contributed to financial security, they also led to exhaustion and limited family engagement. This aligns with research indicating that time availability is a gendered resource, as men face fewer caregiving obligations, allowing for greater career investment and, consequently, contributing to wage and promotion gaps (Lott & Chung, 2016).
Fathers in highly demanding professions struggled to establish boundaries between work and family, particularly in Portugal. They were susceptible to experiencing what Kreiner et al. (2009) designate as “work–home boundary violation,” wherein professional demands interfere with personal life, causing stress and imbalance (Kreiner et al., 2009). Although they may desire to contribute to family duties, their primary concern was how their role as a father could affect their job performance. In this study, they reported adverse health effects, including insomnia, fatigue, and burnout, as well as unhealthy lifestyle shifts, such as poor diet and reduced physical activity. Despite a growing discourse on involved fatherhood, work obligations continued to take precedence for many fathers, reinforcing traditional gender norms in parental roles.
However, a subset of interviewed men embraced more egalitarian discourse reported intending to modify their work-based routines after their child’s birth to be as involved in childcare as their female partner. These fathers shared similarities with mothers living in Portugal, as both profiles were committed to achieving a work–life balance instead of prioritizing one domain over the other. Research has demonstrated that the mother’s employment status influences paternal involvement: if the mother is employed, the spouse may be more likely to share household responsibilities (Gurkan et al., 2021). Despite their intentions, these fathers faced additional conflicts and insecurities, such as those concerning work performance, particularly in competitive positions. This experience is consistent with the Scarcity Perspective, which posits that competing demands from multiple life domains tend to consume most of an individual’s resources (time, energy, and attention), increasing the likelihood of experiencing adverse effects. Consequently, fathers expressed ambivalence about exercising their right to workplace flexibility, further reinforcing cultural lag in gender role adaptation (Volti, 2004). While equal parenthood is gaining acceptance, cultural norms, values, and attitudes linked to the concept of unequal heteronormativity might persist or change slowly (Cao et al., 2016).
Gender also shaped perceptions of family support policies and their utilization. Even in countries with formally gender-neutral policies, mothers remained the primary beneficiaries, reinforcing societal expectations of women as primary caregivers (Eaton, 2003). In Germany, where parental leave legislation allows both parents to take up to 3 years of leave with a wage replacement rate of 65%, participants reported disparities in its uptake (Organization, 2023). In Portugal, parental leave is equally available to both parents and is fully paid, although limited to 5 months. However, national statistics indicate that Portuguese mothers take four to 5 months of leave, while fathers take approximately 1 month (Koslowski et al., 2022). A father in this study, living in Portugal, encountered bureaucratic obstacles when attempting to share leave equally with his partner, illustrating how administrative processes may not align with formal legal provisions.
The tension between progressive legal reforms and enduring societal expectations echoes previous research (Pomaza-Ponomarenko et al., 2023). While policies promoting gender equality in parenting create opportunities for change, their impact is contingent on broader structural and cultural transformations. The persistence of traditional gender roles, despite legal advancements, suggests that policies must be accompanied by institutional changes that address normative expectations around work and family.
Scandinavian countries, which have implemented parental leave policies with generous, earnings-related benefits since the 1990s, represent some of the most equitable models of leave distribution between parents (Kvande, 2022; Marynissen et al., 2019). This was reflected in the narratives of interviewees living in Sweden and Norway, who described greater flexibility to exercise parental rights without adverse professional consequences. Statistical data further indicate that both countries rank among the highest in average life satisfaction with work–life balance, scoring 8.1 in Sweden and 8.5 in Norway on a scale of 0 to 10. These cases illustrate that when formal policies are reinforced by broader structural and cultural shifts, they can promote a more equitable distribution of paid work and caregiving responsibilities.
Strengths and Limitations
The present study provides an in-depth understanding of the impact of parenthood on income, career prospects and well-being based on the perspectives of an equal sample of Portuguese mothers and fathers living in Portugal and abroad. The study’s strength lies in the recruitment of a group of participants from various countries with different gender-patterned cultures of childcare and professional progression, fostering the transferability of the main findings.
The snowball sampling method proved useful in reaching study participants who might not have been willing to participate otherwise, from reliable sources and in a cost-effective way. Nonetheless, a homogeneous sample was selected in terms of sociodemographic characteristics: participants had low variability in marital status (mainly married), level of education (mostly with tertiary education), and profession (mostly in intellectual and scientific roles). Parents who have a low socioeconomic status demonstrated greater reluctance toward participating in the study, not responding or declining invitations, jeopardizing the understanding of experiences from the most vulnerable of the population. A lack of understanding of research information, its process, or significance, may pose a barrier to engaging groups such as those who are socially disadvantaged. This study did not include parents from Eastern European countries as since these are uncommon destinations for Portuguese emigrants (Pires, Inês Vidigal et al., 2024). It is also important to consider that this sample of parents, despite having younger children, does not have children with associated pathologies, which could result in a lower financial burden compared to children who require regular medical care. This discrepancy would be further accentuated in countries of residence where a comprehensive public national health service is lacking.
Implications
The findings of this study carry significant implications for both policymakers and employers seeking to improve work-family reconciliation. First, they highlight the need for policies that not only provide structural support, such as parental leave and childcare services, but also challenge deeply ingrained gender norms that perpetuate unequal caregiving responsibilities. Policymakers should consider targeted interventions to increase fathers’ participation in parental leave and flexible work arrangements, thereby promoting a more balanced distribution of caregiving roles.
For employers, the results emphasize the importance of organizational cultures that support work–life balance for both men and women. Addressing flexibility stigma and ensuring that family-friendly policies are not only available but also socially accepted can help create more inclusive workplaces. Employers should also consider proactive measures to prevent discrimination against working mothers, such as transparent promotion criteria and initiatives to support career progression after parental leave.
Ultimately, this study contributes to the broader literature on work-family reconciliation by illustrating how policy frameworks, gender norms, and transnational experiences intersect to shape the realities of parenthood. The findings emphasize the need for holistic approaches that integrate policy reforms with broader cultural transformations in gender and caregiving expectations, ensuring that institutional advancements translate into meaningful improvements in work-family balance across diverse socio-political contexts.
Conclusions
This study demonstrates that, despite significant progress in gender equality, mothers and fathers continue to experience parenthood differently, particularly regarding their professional trajectories and well-being. While traditional conceptions of fathers as work-oriented and mothers as child-oriented may no longer fully apply, gendered expectations persist in shaping work-family experiences. The findings revealed that some women strive to balance full-time employment with caregiving, while some men seek to combine breadwinning with active parenting. However, achieving a truly gender-neutral approach remains challenging, especially when considering well-being outcomes alongside career and family responsibilities. Women reported that household and childcare responsibilities negatively affected their career opportunities, leading to higher work–life conflict. In contrast, men, even those committed to egalitarian parenting, did not perceive the same impact on their income or career progression. Furthermore, both men and women who faced higher conflicts between professional and personal responsibilities reported adverse effects on well-being - women primarily in terms of emotional and psychological strain, and men in terms of physical health and behavioral changes.
The dichotomy between policy objectives and parental practices, such as the bureaucratic obstacles in Portugal or the underutilization of shared parental leave in many countries, signals the need for policy readjustment. To ensure equal opportunities for both fathers and mothers to participate in childcare responsibilities and paid work, it is important to provide access to parenthood support measures, such as well-compensated shared parental leave, flexible working arrangements, and affordable childcare.
Supplemental Material
Supplemental Material - “Be Mothers as if we Were not Workers, Be Workers as if we Were not Mothers”: A Qualitative Study on Parenthood’s Impact on Careers and Well-Being
Supplemental Material for “Be Mothers as if we Were not Workers, Be Workers as if we Were not Mothers”: A Qualitative Study on Parenthood’s Impact on Careers and Well-Being by Ana Sofia Monteiro Maia, Margarida Miguel Costeira e Pereira, Svenn-Erik Mamelund, Joana Maria Correia Amaro, Sílvia Jesus da Silva Fraga, and Teresa Isabel Costa Leão in Journal of Family Issues
Footnotes
Acknowledgments
The authors acknowledge the 30 interviewees who participated in this study and shared their experiences. The authors acknowledge the contributions of Jessica Dimka and Julian Perelman, members of the MERIT project research team, who reviewed and provided feedback on this research paper, and the support of the Unidade de Investigação em Epidemiologia-Instituto de Saúde Pública da Universidade do Porto (EPIUnit) (UIDB/04750/2020) and the Laboratório para a Investigação Integrativa e Translacional (ITR), Porto, Portugal (LA/P/0064/2020).
Ethical Considerations
Ethical approval was granted by the Ethics Committee of the Institute of Public Health of the University of Porto (approval no. CE22233) on 15 December 2022, and data collection and storage were monitored by the Data Protection Team. All respondents gave written consent, which was reviewed and signed before the start of the interviews.
Author Contributions
Sofia Maia: conceptualization, conducting interviews, formal analysis, results interpretation, writing—original draft, and writing—review and editing. Sílvia Fraga and Teresa Leão: conceptualization, results interpretation, and writing—review and editing. Margarida Pereira, Svenn-Erik Mamelund, and Joana Amaro: writing—results interpretation, review, and editing.
Funding
The authors disclosed receipt of the following financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article: This research was funded by EEA Grants through the Portuguese Gender Conciliation and Equality Program operated by the Commission for Citizenship and Gender Equality (CIG) (SGS3A2).
Declaration of Conflicting Interests
The authors have no competing interests to declare that are relevant to the content of this article.
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References
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