The article discusses the accounts of 35 heterosexual Italian fathers about their partners’ influence on their decision-making about taking parental leave. While Italian men’s low use of parental leave has been explored, their partners’ influence on their choices in this matter has not. Using interviews with working fathers, 25 of whom took parental leave, what emerges is the primary role taken on by women. However, despite the pivotal role played by women in decision-making, the data show a complex and dynamic scenario: on the one hand, men’s choice to take parental leave is the result of a process of negotiation that involves the way gender is performed, and in which men, too, are active subjects of social change; on the other, men who do not take parental leave talk about a ‘natural’ choice linked to the fact that their partners want to be there with the child. However, the latter is the result of gender stereotypes that position fathers as mothers’ helpers and prioritize men’s commitment in the labor market. For these reasons, the data also contribute to refining the notion of ‘maternal gatekeeping’, reconsidering it in light of how gender is done and redone.
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