A seminal text in psychoanalytic literature, “The Use of an Object and Relating Through Identifications,” like the Sphinx, continues to challenge us. At birth, the infant attempts to destroy the object, and if the mother survives this destruction, the child gains a sense of reality. In this essay, Winnicott challenges classical conceptions of aggression, viewing destruction as an expression of love and innate vitality. He critiques idealized views of the mother-child relationship, emphasizes the role of the real object, and anticipates a social theory of subjectivity where creation of meaning is central. He reiterates that destruction is typically only potential. The essay argues that, like negation in Hegel’s dialectic of recognition, destruction—even if partial—must occur and be reciprocal. Only through “alteration of each” (Nancy) can the transition be made from an omnipotent relationship (“relating”) to a more mature one (“use”). Winnicott’s lexical choices—“destruction,” “relating,” and “use”—contribute to the enduring relevance of the essay. Rereading this classic work today highlights the metapsychological significance of recognition as a framework for understanding therapeutic action. Above all, it helps avoid misinterpreting recognition as merely a deliberate or conscious act, or reducing it to a purely descriptive clinical term.
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