Brief Resolution of the Issue of Similarity versus Complementarity in Mate Selection Using Height Preferences as a Model

Abstract

Do birds of a feather flock together or do opposites attract? Do we marry someone who reinforces our strengths and who shares our weaknesses or do we marry someone whose strengths, weaknesses, and needs are complementary to our own? Investigations into this question have established two facts. The first fact is that most people have a strong conviction that opposites do attract, that we want and choose someone complementary. The second fact, however, is that most data show that we in fact choose someone similar. A possible resolution is offered by the hypothesis that on some dimensions at least we want someone rather similar to ourselves but still just different enough to create a comfortable contrast in the correct direction. One might call this idea the contrast hypothesis or contrast model of mate selection. Preferences in regard to height fit this hypothesis to some degree at least and indeed a contemplation of height preferences inspired the notion in the first place. The present article uses simulated height-preference data to present the model and to illustrate statistical techniques to test for the predicted outcomes.