Memorializing on the World Wide Web: Patterns of Grief and Attachment in Adult Daughters of Deceased Mothers

Abstract

The World Wide Web is emerging as the new site for mourners. Many bereaved persons are creating memorial Web sites for deceased loved ones, providing text-based representations of what they have lost with frequent reference to the nature of their grief. The primary purpose of this study was to measure elements of attachment style and grief as shown by the adult daughters who had placed memorials on the Internet for their deceased mothers. Participants self-selected and were solicited and completed a questionnaire online. In addition, the 24 available Web sites were content coded for textual themes and presentational styles. Fifty-nine memorial authors responded to measures of attachment style, grief, and characteristics of the memorial they created. Results revealed a lower frequency of secure attachment styles than would be expected and higher levels of grief. Prominent among the themes expressed in these memorials were missing the deceased, narratives and letters to the deceased, comments about the deceased watching over the bereft, and other references to the self. Although smaller numbers precluded statistical analyses, several evocative attachment style differences in the use of these themes were suggested. These findings contribute to the understanding of the complex relationship between adult daughters and their deceased mothers and the potential role of attachment in the ways in which such relationships are characterized and memorialized.

Get full access to this article

View all access options for this article.

References

Ainsworth

(1991). Attachment and other affectional bonds across the lifecycle. In Parkes

Stevenson-Hinde

, & Manis

(Eds.), Attachment across the lifecycle (pp. 33–51). London: Rutledge.

Bartholomew

(1990). Avoidance of intimacy: An attachment perspective. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 7, 47–178.

Bartholomew

, & Horowitz

L. M.

(1991). Attachment styles among young adults: A test of a four-category model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61(2), 226–244.

Bengtson

V. L.

, & Kuypers

J. A.

(1971). Generational difference and the developmental stake. Aging and Human Development, 2, 249–259.

Bowlby

(1969). Attachment and loss Vol. 1: Attachment. New York: Basic Books.

Bowlby

(1977). The making and breaking of affectional bonds. London: Tavistock Publications.

Bowlby

(1980). Attachment and loss Vol. 3: Loss, sadness and depression. New York: Basic Books.

Carpenter

B. D.

(2001). Attachment bonds between adult daughters and their older mothers. Journal of Gerontology, 56, 257–266.

Collins

N. L.

, & Read

S. J.

(1990). Adult attachment, working models, and relationship quality in dating couples. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 58, 644–663.

10.

de Vries

(2001). Grief: Intimacy's reflection. Generations, 25, 75–80.

11.

de Vries

(2004). The hidden lives of older widowers. Contemporary Psychology, 49, 288–290.

12.

Douglas

(1990). Patterns of change following parental death in midlife. Omega: Journal of Death and Dying, 22(2), 123–137.

13.

Faschingbauer

Zisook

, & DeVaul

(1987). The Texas revised inventory of grief. In Zisook

(Ed.), Biopsychosocial aspects of bereavement (pp. 111–124). Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Press.

14.

Feeney

J. A.

, & Noller

(1990). Attachment style as a predictor of adult romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 58, 281–291.

15.

Garbarino

(1998, April). Comparisons of the constructs and psychometric properties of selected measures of adult attachment. Measurement & Evaluation in Counseling and Development, 31(1), 28–46.

16.

Hazen

, & Shaver

(1987). Conceptualizing romantic love as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 511–524.

17.

Moss

M. S.

, & Moss

S. Z.

(1989). The death of a parent. In Kalish

(Ed.), Midlife loss (pp. 89–114). Newbury Park: Sage.

18.

Moss

Resch

, & Moss

(1997). The role of gender in middle-age children's responses to parent death. In deVries

(Ed.), Kinship bereavement in later life (pp. 43–65). New York: Springer.

19.

Moss

Rubinstein

, & Resch

(1993). Impact of elderly mother's death on middle age daughters. International Journal of Aging and Human Development, 37(1) 1–22.

20.

Oram

Landolt

, & Bartholomew

(2001, August). Attachment and loss in gay men experiencing multiple AIDS-related loss. Poster presented at the annual meeting of the American Psychological Association.

21.

Roberts

(1999). Tangible sorrows, virtual tributes: Cemeteries in Cyberspace. In de Vries

(Ed.), End of life issues: Interdisciplinary and multidimensional perspectives (pp. 327–357). New York: Springer.

22.

Roberts

, & Vidal

L. A.

(2000). Perpetual care in cyberspace: A portrait of memorials on the Web. Omega: Journal of Death and Dying, 40, 159–171.

23.

Scharfe

, & Bartholomew

(1994). Reliability and stability of adult attachment patterns. Personal Relationships, 1, 23–43.

24.

Scharlach

(1991). Factors associated with filial grief following the death of an elderly parent. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 61(2), 307–313.

25.

Scharlach

, & Fredriksen

(1993). Reactions to the death of a parent during midlife. Omega: Journal of Death and Dying, 27(4), 307–319.

26.

Scharlach

, & Fuller-Thompson

(1994). Coping strategies following the death of an elderly parent. Journal of Gerontological Social Work, 21(3/4), 85–100.

27.

Thompson

L. W.

Gallagher-Thompson

Futterman

Gilewski

, & Peterson

(1991). The effects of late-life spousal bereavement over a 30-month interval. Psychology and Aging, 6(3), 434–441.

28.

Umberson

, & Chen

(1994, February). Effects of a parent's death on adult children: Relationship salience and reaction to loss. American Sociological Review, 59(1), 152–168.

29.

Vota

R. L.

, & de Vries

(2001). Guided autobiography in cyberspace. In Kenyon

Clark

, & de Vries

(Eds.), Narrative gerontology: Theory, research, and practice (pp. 331–351). New York: Springer.

30.

Weiss

(1993). Loss and recovery. In Stroebe

Stroebe

, & Hansson

, (Eds.), Handbook of bereavement, theory, research & intervention (pp. 271–284). New York: Cambridge University Press.