Marriage and Divorce among Bereaved Parents in a Self-Help Group

Abstract

The death of a child is one of the most difficult griefs in contemporary society. This study using the participant observation method examines the relationship between the bereaved father and mother in The Compassionate Friends (TCF), a self-help group of bereaved parents. The study examines the dynamics of couples already divorced, of parents who divorce within a few years after the death of the child, and of parents who remain married. Findings from this study suggest that marital relationships are not separate from the whole set of dynamics which come with the death of a child. Among these parents, two themes seem central. First, there is the paradox of a new tie established between those who have lost a child even as there is a great deal of estrangement in the separate griefs. Second, there is a strong sense of reordered priorities and a sense of the self as a center of strength within the decision to face directly the issues given in the new world of parental bereavement.