Sexual Intimacy and Replacement Children after the Death of a Child

Abstract

The stress on couples who have a child die is tremendous. Fourteen couples who had a short or long preparation time for their child's death were interviewed. All parents expressed guilt. It was also discovered that because of this grief and the accompanying guilt, sexual intercourse was performed only by three couples within the first three days after the death, with sexual guilt occurring with one couple. Hugging and being held, however, became a comforting behavior found in all but one couple. This behavior was a new experience for the men. Although sex was perceived as undesirable, it was again initiated for a specific reason: to produce a replacement child. Although the literature indicates that replacement children could be potentially pathological, the question arises whether a replacement child could be a “normal” need for parents of childbearing years.