Thanatological Theory and My Dying Father

Abstract

This introspective, first-person account describes those thanatologically-oriented theories or conceptions which were useful to the son/thanatologist in helping his father toward an appropriate death. Those theories that were particularly useful were a variation of stress theory developed by the author, symbolic interaction theory, psychological and social ambivalence theory, the concept of awareness of finitude, and the regressive intervention concept. The concept of “appropriate death” provided a path and goal that were quite utilitarian. Discussion centered around the need to understand individual differences allowing the dying individual to choose that which is appropriate for him or her throughout the dying process. Second, although it is fashionable to suggest the need for research which would allow greater specificity of prediction and deeper understanding, it is suggested that one learns and grows in dealing with the unpredicted. Evaluative data indicated that a large death education class taught by the instructor found that the day-by-day account of the dying process was valuable in terms of “forever remembering the death education course and the lessons learned in the autobiographical account” and that “the experience made the professor more human in the eyes of the students.” Finally, differences in working with the dying parent as compared to other clients were briefly discussed in terms of the quality and quantity of the human bond.