This exploratory study applied grounded theory methodology to examine the impacts of parental and in-law disapproval on gay men's relationships. Data were collected from an accidental sample of forty men in twenty homosexual couples using a standardized, open-ended interview. The findings suggest that partnered gay men are almost certain to face antagonism from their parents and in-laws. However, most respondents denied adverse impacts of family of origin hostility. Participants described the deployment of a variety of boundary-setting coping mechanisms to protect their relationships from intergenerational antipathy. According to the results of this research clinicians may want to prepare gay men for the family crisis that is almost sure to result when they come out to their parents. Practitioners would also be advised to assess and, if necessary, help gay male couples strengthen the intergenerational, emotional boundaries around their relationships.
Get full access to this article
View all access options for this article.
References
1.
Apperson-BehrensL., & McAdooG. (1968). Parental factors in the childhood of homosexuals. Journal of Abnormal Psychology73(3), 201–206.
2.
AuraJ. (1985). Women's social support: A comparison of lesbians and heterosexuals. Unpublished Doctoral Dissertation, University of California, Los Angeles.
3.
Ben-AriA. (1995). The discovery that an offspring is gay: Parents', gay men's, and lesbians' perspectives. Journal of Homosexuality, 30(1), 89–112.
4.
BeneE. (1965). On the genesis of male homosexuality: An attempt at clarifying the role of the parents. British Journal of Psychiatry, 111, 803–809.
5.
BergerR. (1990b). Passing: Impact on the quality of same-sex couple relationships Social Work, 35, 328–332.
BottE. (1957). family and social network: Roles, norms, and external relationships in ordinary urban families.London: Tavistock Publications.
8.
Boszormenyi-NagyI., & SparkG. (1973). Invisible loyalties; Reciprocity in inter generational family therapy.New York: Harper & Row.
9.
BowenM. (1974). Toward the differentiation of self in one's family of origin. In AndresF., & LorioJ. (Eds.), Georgetown Family Symposium Papers.Georgetown University Press.
10.
BurnsA. (1984). Perceived causes of marriage breakdown and conditions of life. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 46, 551–562.
11.
CaronS., & UlinM. (1997). Closeting and the quality of lesbian relationships. Families in Society78(4), 413–419.
12.
DillardC., & ProtinskyH. (1985). Emotional cutoff: A comparative analysis of clinical versus nonclinical populations. International Journal of Family Psychiatry, 6, 339–349.
13.
DriscollR., DavisK., & LipetzM. (1972). Parental interference and romantic love: The Romeo and Juliet effect. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 24(1), 1–10.
14.
EvansR. (1969). Childhood parental relationships of homosexual men. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 33(2), 129–135.
15.
FortuneA., & ReidW. (1998). Research in social work (3rd ed.). New York: Columbia University Press.
16.
GlaserB., & StraussA. (1967). The discovery of grounded theory: Strategies for qualitative research.New York: Aldine Atherton.
17.
GlaserB. (1978). Theoretical sensitivity: Advances in the methodology of grounded theory.Mill Valley, CA: The Sociology Press.
18.
GoettingA. (1990). Patterns of support among in-laws in the United States. Journal of Family Issues, 11, 67–90.
19.
GrahamM., & MoeaiJ. (1985). Intercultural marriages: An intrareligious perspective. Journal of International Relations, 9, 427–434.
20.
GundlachR. (1969). Childhood parental relationships and the establishment of gender roles of homosexuals. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 33(2), 136–139.
21.
IrvingH. (1971). Relationships between married couples and their parents. Social Casework, 52, 91–96.
22.
IsayR. (1989). Being homosexual: Gay men and their development.New York: Farrar, Strauss and Giroux.
23.
JayK., & YoungA. (1979). The gay report: Lesbians and gay men speak out about sexual experiences and lifestyles.New York: Summit Books.
24.
KahnR., & CannedC. (1957). The dynamics of interviewing; theory, technique, and cases.New York: John Wilwy & Sons.
25.
KomarovskyM. (1964). Blue collar marriage.New York: Random House.
26.
KouriK., & LassellM. (1993). Black-white marriages: Social change and intergenerational mobility. Marriage & Family Review, 19(3/4), 241–255.
27.
LaSalaM. (1997). The need for a thick skin: Coupled gay men and their relationships with their parents and inlaws. Dissertation Abstracts International, 58(11), 4444A.
28.
LeighG. (1982). Kinship interaction over the family life span. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 44, 197–208.
29.
LoflandJ., & LoflandL. (1984). Analyzing social settings: A guide to qualitative observation and analysis.Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.
30.
LoneyJ. (1973). Family dynamics in homosexual women. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 2, 343–350.
31.
MannF. (1970). Human relation skills in social research. In FilsteadW. (Ed.), Qualitative methodology: Firsthand involvement with the social world.Chicago: Markham Publishing Company.
McCrackenG. (1988). The long interview.Newbury Park, CA: Sage.
34.
McGoldrickM. (1988). The joining of families through marriage: The new couple. In CarterB., & McGoldrickM. (Eds.), The changing family life cycle: A framework for family therapy (2nd ed), 211–231. New York: Gardner Press.
35.
MeyerC. J. (1989). Social support and couple closeness among lesbians. Dissertation Abstracts International, 50(8), 2667A.
36.
MilesM., & HubermanA. (1994). Qualitative data analysis: A sourcebook of new methods.Beverly Hills, CA: Sage Publications.
37.
MullerA. (1987). Parents matter: Parents' relationships with lesbian daughters and gay sons.Tallahassee, FL: The Naiad Press, Inc.
38.
MurphyB. C. (1982). Intergenerational contact and the impact of parental attitudes on lesbian and married couples: A comparative study. Dissertation Abstracts International, 43(12), 4156B.
39.
NapierA., & WhitakerC. (1978). The family crucible.New York: Harper & Row.
40.
O'ConnorJ. (1964). Aetiological factors in homosexuality as seen in the royal air force psychiatric practice. British Journal of Psychiatry, 5, 85–97.
41.
PattonM. (1980). Qualitative evaluation methods.Beverly Hills, CA: Sage Publications.
42.
ReidW. (1993). Refraining the epistemological debate. In ShermanE., & ReidW. (Eds.), Qualitative research in social work, (pp. 464–479). New York: Columbia University Press.
43.
RosenthalC. (1985). Kinkeeping in the familial division of labor. Journal of Marriage and the family, 47, 965–974.
44.
RyderR. J., Kafka, & OlsonD. (1970). Separating and joining influences in courtship and early marriage. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 41, 450–464.
45.
SaghirM., & RobinsE. (1973). Male and female homosexuality: A comprehensive investigation.Baltimore, MD: The Williams & Wilkins Co.
46.
San Francisco Examiner. (1989). Result of Poll.San Francisco, CA, San Francisco Examiner, June 6: A19.
47.
ShavelsonE., BiaggioM., CrossH., & LehmanR. (1980). Lesbian women's perceptions of their parent-child relationships. Journal of Homosexuality, 5(3), 205–215.
48.
SiegelmanM. (1974). Parental background of homosexual women and heterosexual women. British Journal of Psychiatry, 124, 14–21.
49.
SiegelmanM. (1981a). Parental back-grounds of homosexual and heterosexual men: A cross national replication. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 10(6), 505–513.
50.
SiegelmanM. (1981b). Parental backgrounds of homosexual and heterosexual women: A cross national replication. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 10(4), 371–378.
51.
SpadaJ. (1979). The Spada Report: The newest survey of gay male sexuality.New York: Signet.
52.
SteinC. (1992a). Ties that bind: Three studies of obligation in adult relationships with family. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 9, 525–547.
53.
SussmanM. (1953). The help pattern in the middle class family. American Sociological Review, 18, 22–28.
54.
TaylorS., & BogdanR. (1984). Introduction to qualitative research methods: The search for meanings (2nd ed). New York: John Wiley & Sons.
55.
ThompsonN, SchwarzD., McCandlessB., & EdwardsD. (1973). Parent-child relationships and sexual identity in male and female homosexuals and heterosexuals. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 41, 120–127.
56.
VeielH., CrisandM., Stroszeck-SomschorH., & HerrleJ. (1991). Social support of chronically strained couples: Similarity and overlap. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 8, 279–292.
57.
WarshowJ. (1991). How lesbian identity affects the mother/daughter relationship. In SangB., WarshawJ., & SmithD. (Eds.), Lesbians at midlife: The creative transition.San Francisco: Spinster Book Co.
58.
WellmanB., & WellmanB. (1992). Domestic affairs and network relations. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 8, 385–409.
59.
WestD. (1959). Parental figures in the genesis of male homosexuality. International Journal of Social Psychiatry, 5, 85–97.
