Relationship formation and maintenance is guided by more than similarity between partners' actual selves. Expanding the domain of self-discrepancy theory (SDT; Higgins, 1987), we propose that a type of discrepancy previously not considered—discrepancies between self-aspects of relational partners—is central to relationship cognition, including perceptions of intimacy and trust, and to the emergence of roles within relationships. Our argument relates both to unconstrained environments, where individuals freely choose partners, and constrained environments (e.g., workplaces) with relationships imposed. We argue that SDT's prediction of emotional consequences from discrepancies permits a motivational account of why individuals might form and maintain relationships in terms of hierarchies and roles.
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