Work Life and Family Life Collide: Online Support for New Fathers

Abstract

The purpose of this investigation was to analyze online discussions about parental leave in relation to the work lives and private lives of new fathers. A netnographic study of nearly 100 discussion threads from a freely accessible online forum for fathers was conducted. Data were coded, sorted, and categorized by qualitative similarities and differences. The results of the study indicate that new fathers seek Internet forums to discuss work-related topics. Parental leave can provoke worries and anxiety related to management and co-worker attitudes which can create concern that they should be back at work. The results are presented in two categories: (a) attitudes expressed by employers and colleagues and (b) leaving work but longing to be back. The phenomenon of parental leave for fathers is more complex than simply “for” or “against” attitudes. Fathers can use Internet forums to discuss their experiences, fears, and anxiety and provide reasonable accommodations for both work and family life.

Several incentives to enhance gender equality, particularly related to parental leave, have been established in Sweden. As far back as 1974, the Swedish government launched a gender-neutral policy for parental leave. The Department of Social Affairs implemented a new law in 2008 to increase parental leave and work life participation equality. This law rewards parents with a financial bonus for equally splitting leave time (SFS 2008:313). Ray, Gornick, and Schmitt (2010) reported that Sweden has been noted for its generous gender equity and paid parental leave policies, and Moss and Kamerman (2009) emphasized that parental leave policies can identify a country as a modern state.

Although this particular study was conducted in Sweden, its application could be broadened to workplaces in the United States with potentially similar issues. Sweden is often praised for its generous, gender-neutral society, particularly in relation to parental leave policies (Ray et al., 2010; Smith & Williams, 2007). In stark contrast, a report assessing the generosity and gender equity across 21 other countries has demonstrated that U.S. policies differ significantly (Ray, Gornick, & Schmitt, 2009). The report shows that Sweden provides parents with 40 weeks of full-time paid leave; the United States offers no paid leave on the federal level. In the United States, the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), established in 1993, was intended to balance the demands of the workplace with the needs of families (FMLA, 1993). The act guarantees up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave each year for family and health reasons, including parental leave. However, it has been reported that only 60% of U.S. workers are FMLA-eligible (Ray et al., 2010). On the state level, New York included paid family leave in the 2016 budget; employees are eligible for 12 weeks of paid family leave when caring for an infant (“Governor Cuomo Signs,” 2016).

Even though government policies can provide fathers with parental leave, other obstacles to this benefit may exist. Hobson and Fahlén (2009) reported that many fathers in European countries had positive attitudes about family life and wanted to be more involved but, due to work demands, felt more involvement at home was not possible. Stigmatized attitudes toward paternity leave may be related to the masculine culture of Western workplaces (Blair-Loy, 2004). A study of caregiving fathers and men without children reported that working fathers caring for their children were likely to be harassed, disrespected, and viewed as bad workers and failed men (Berdahl & Moon, 2013). It is troublesome that the availability of paternity leave may affect the well-being and safety of fathers at work.

Becoming a father is a life-changing event, likened to an existential journey (Bekkengen, 2006). Studies over the past decades have revealed that paternity leave is associated with several positive outcomes (e.g., fathers develop personal skills such as increased engagement, accessibility, and responsibility; Lamb, Pleck, Charnov, & Levine, 1985; Rehel, 2014). However, Bekkengen (2006) pointed out that parental leave is not without challenges for employers, as these absences usually mean a redistribution of employees’ workloads to colleagues. In turn, such redistributions may result in negative reactions from colleagues when employees return to work.

An imbalance between work life and family life can be stressful and negatively affect workers’ physical and mental health (Allen, Herst, Bruck, & Sutton, 2000). Despite the prominent gender-equality reforms in Sweden, studies of fathers’ experiences show that they struggle with negative societal attitudes about paternity leave (e.g., fathers feel isolated and excluded from traditional social spaces dominated by mothers; Chronholm, 2004). Parental education is provided by health care services; however, the complexity of merging work and private life is neither the priority of parental education nor explicitly its focus (Vårdguiden, 2016). It is well-known that individuals including parents turn to the Internet to gain information and support for health-related problems (Plantin & Daneback, 2009). Even though the Internet cannot provide solutions to individual problems, it can be a useful tool to connect with others in similar situations and make sense of experiences (Ziebland, 2004). The purpose of this investigation was to specifically analyze new fathers’ experiences of balancing work and private lives while on parental leave.

Method

This study used the tenets of netnography as described by Kozinets (2015) to conduct online research. Netnographic research is a neologism based on ethnography, but with the modification that researchers study what happens in online communities. Kozinets (2010) wrote, “Online communities form or manifest cultures, the learned beliefs, values and customs that serve to order, guide and direct the behavior of a particular society or group” (p. 12). Studies of online content were first conducted in the early 1990s as part of market research (Moore, 1995; Walthers, 1992) and since then the methodology has also been adopted by other disciplines, including nursing. Netnography is the study of microcultures in a variety of contexts to describe particular groups of people and their practices, interactions, and activities as well as artifacts (Salzmann-Erikson & Eriksson, 2012; Wolcott, 1999). Kozinets (2015) explained that netnography can either be an interactive process between researchers and online community members or a strict observational study of the content without interaction. Furthermore, this approach uses an inductive process of collecting data: making use of records and memos, focusing on the research question and interpreting data appropriately, and seeking explanations or insights within the (micro)culture.

The search engine Google (www.google.com) was used to identify a freely accessible online forum able to provide data for this study. The forum was chosen based on relevancy (i.e., forum discussions that could answer the research question) and activity (more than 10 daily postings). In total, the data included almost 100 threads of discussions, which had been saved on the forum during the past 4 years. All data were downloaded on one specific occasion and analyzed retrospectively. The discussions were copied into a Word document to facilitate qualitative analysis. The data were read thoroughly to follow fathers’ discussions and become familiar with the data (Patton, 1990). Comments were made in the margins, which included hunches and clues. Next, the data were coded into small strings of information, which correlated to the content of the text. The codes were then sorted and categorized according to similarities and differences. The results demonstrate a summarized presentation of analyzed material. Because this study has only one author, intercoder reliability was not necessary; hence, other strategies to ensure trustworthiness were used. Anderson (2010) advised analysts to select “quotes that are poignant and/or most representative of the research findings” (p. 3), which is similar to what Geertz (1973) refers to as “thick description” and has become a well-established criterion to ensure trustworthiness in qualitative research.

Ethical Consideration

The study accessed data that were publicly available on the Internet, so researchers were not required to secure consent from online participants (Kozinets, 2015; National Research Ethics Committee for Social Sciences and Humanities [NESH], 2014). However, the privacy, dignity, and integrity of individuals posting on the forum have been protected as possible (Bassett & O’Riordan, 2002; Bruckman, 2002; Enyon, Schroeder, & Fry, 2009).

Results

In general, a positive tone was used by participants discussing their breaks from work due to parental leave. Paid parental leave was valued, and the flexibility of the social system made it possible to find individually tailored solutions to caring for newborns. Fathers expressed their eagerness to take parental leave and care for their children, but in addition, several individuals stressed the positive aspects of a break from heavy workloads. However, these fathers also expressed concerns about taking parental leave. First, fathers discussed the attitudes they had encountered from employers and colleagues. Second, they expressed a longing to be back at work.

Attitudes Expressed by Employers and Colleagues

Most respondents took parental leave for a continuous period of time, ranging from a few months to almost a year. The discussions reflected positive attitudes toward parental leave as a legal right. However, posters experienced a variety of reactions from management and co-workers at their workplaces when they announced they were taking parental leave. One participant wrote,

Fortunately, I don’t have that type of competitive culture at my job—many colleagues are also taking parental leave. It means that both other colleagues and managers have respect both for parental leave and when you come in late, go home early or work from home to take your responsibility as a parent.

However, some respondents experienced less positive attitudes from their employers. One poster wrote, “I have a pretty understanding boss so that’s cool, but you can tell by his expression that he gets frustrated.” Another father initiated a discussion thread in which he wanted help with how to deal with his employer. The poster explained that the employer had refused to sign his request for parental leave. Such confrontations and conflicts with employers was stressful for fathers, as work life threatened to collide with family life. Those individuals who reported conflicts with employers found support in the forum. Many posters offered tips on Internet links, referring to legislation and encouraging other participants to contact their labor unions.

Sometimes, posters experienced negative attitudes from colleagues as well: “At work I was faced with skepticism from colleagues. ‘We have much too generous parental leave money in Sweden’ [the poster quotes his colleague].” This father reported that when such comments were made, he felt uncomfortable and defensive.

Ambivalent Feelings: Leaving Work but Longing to be Back

Fathers posted both positive and negative reactions about their parental leave experiences. They indicated it was good to be home, but at the same time leave was described as boring: “I myself felt a little frustration with being home for so long, but at the same time it’s been really nice . . . ” However, returning to work was not always easy. Some participants wrote that work conditions had changed during their absences, and these changes concerned them:

When I came back to work, I didn’t have any responsibilities left so I improvised a little . . . So we’ll see how long it takes before I get fired for not doing what I should have or something.

Another father acknowledged that he missed the social aspect of work during parental leave and tried to find substitutes for his colleagues. This ambivalence manifested throughout discussions. Fathers praised the opportunity to take paid parental leave, but at the same time they frequently discussed and tried to find solutions that satisfied their need to have one foot at home and another at work:

I’m at home four days per week and my wife is home one day. The day my wife is home I’m going to be at work. Then I’m going to work one day a week from home. God save the broadband connection. :) This way we’re going to save a portion of the days that we’ll probably use later.

Because most fathers took relatively long periods of parental leave, the longing to be back to work sometimes became apparent as they expressed concerns about being away from work for so long.

Discussion

This study was designed to analyze online discussions among fathers regarding their concerns about parental leave in relation to work and family responsibilities. Fathers not only are, in general, positive about parental leave but also express ambivalent feelings about returning to work. The literature published outside Sweden suggests that Western work culture stigmatizes fathers who take parental leave, suggesting these workers are less valuable or given less respect. One possible explanation for study results might be that fathers’ concerns about returning to work are grounded in these work cultures and expectations of fathers as workers (Blair-Loy, 2004; Rehel, 2014).

Universal health care in Sweden includes access to local childbirth centers where future parents are invited to participate in classes on childbirth, pain management, breastfeeding, and, to some extent, preparations for parenthood (Vårdguiden, 2016). However, study results indicate that parental education provided by health centers does not meet the needs of fathers by addressing their concerns. Hence, parental education programs must include helping fathers find a reasonable balance between work and family life.

The issue of developing more gender equity in work culture, a culture that would accept and view paternity leave as positive, is complex. Interventions should be directed not only at fathers but also at company management and co-workers who should be informed about the positive outcomes of paternity leave. Even though Sweden has a long tradition of paid parental leave (Moss & Kamerman, 2009; Ray et al., 2009; SFS 2008:313) and is known to be a father-friendly society (Smith & Williams, 2007), study examples show some fathers are still challenged to take parental leave. Occupational health nurses should advocate for fathers and create father-friendly workplaces. Companies could provide a variety of parental leave models that balance work and family life and are tailored to individual father’s needs; these models might better meet organizational needs as well.

Study Limitations

This small-scale study has limitations. The results cannot be generalized to a wider population; however, the findings provide insights into the studied phenomenon that suggest directions for future studies. No demographic data were available on the fathers who participated in the discussions. It was not possible to cross-check interpretation of codes and categories by other researchers or study participants, but powerful quotes were used to display raw data in the “Results” section. More extensive methods such as participant observation in father education or focus groups could provide additional insights.

Conclusion

Participating in Internet forum discussions can provide opportunities for fathers to make sense of their experiences and gain support in finding individualized solutions to better balance work and family life. Those professionals who design parental education at childbirth centers could use these findings to improve educational offering by addressing father-specific concerns. When employees return to work, employers and co-workers have a responsibility to engage the returning worker and use the skills developed or honed during leave.

Applying Research to Practice

Participating in Internet forum discussions can provide opportunities for fathers to make sense of their experiences and gain support in finding individualized solutions to better balance work and family life. Companies could provide a variety of parental leave models that balance work and family life and are tailored to individual father’s needs; these models might better meet organizational needs as well.