The mother–daughter relationship in urban singleton-daughter families: Changing intergenerational relationships and the implications for Chinese family reinstitutionalization

Abstract

The father–son relationship has traditionally been regarded as the cornerstone of family dynamics and has been the focal point of research in both Western and Chinese contexts. Conversely, the mother–daughter relationship has either been overlooked or portrayed in a negative light. This study aims to shed light on this underrepresented relationship by bringing it to the forefront of academic inquiry. We conducted semi-structured interviews and participant observation with 18 singleton daughters and seven mothers in a second-tier city in inland China. Our findings revealed that within these families, the mother–daughter relationship is highly complex, intimate, and salient. It extends beyond the daughters’ marriages and persists through childbearing and, indeed, throughout their lifetime. Unlike in traditional Chinese families, this relationship is no longer truncated or heavily restricted by patrilineal power. Moreover, while mothers’ “thick love” is often accompanied by intimate control, the overarching pattern remains one of strong intimacy and solidarity. Mothers’ assistance with childcare also plays a crucial role in reconciling strained mother–daughter relationships. Modern mothers, who are both career-oriented and living a traditional marital life, often serve as dual role models for their singleton daughters in relation to economic independence and traditional gender roles. In summary, the modern mother–daughter relationship is complex and intense, characterized by thick love, caregiving, and strong mutuality. This contrasts with the traditional father–son relationship, which is often regulated by patriarchy, patrilineal power, lineage, and norms.