Abstract
This article examines how digital platforms shape and transform spiritual practices by analyzing the trending “Wish Me A Baby Boy” phenomenon on the Chinese social media platform Xiaohongshu (Rednote). Far from existing as purely personal pursuits, spirituality here emerges as a communal media practice reflecting everyday politics, shaped by cultural traditions, technological affordances, and broader socio-political conditions. Drawing on Chinese traditional practices of wish-making (xu-yuan) and returning the favor (huan-yuan), users adapt these long-standing practices into subtle digital forms, showing ongoing negotiations around cultural values, gender norms, and family expectations. Employing a non-participatory observation and integrating thematic and narrative analysis methods, the study reveals that these online spiritual practices provide unique insights into subtle yet pervasive social tensions in contemporary China, especially those involving fertility pressures, gender expectations, and the lived experiences of ordinary users. In doing so, this research contributes specifically to digital spirituality scholarship by illustrating how culturally marginalized aspirations gain visibility through spiritual expressions and interactions on social media, how platform affordances mediate traditional rituals, and how digital spirituality emerges as a site of ideological negotiation between traditional values (e.g. son preference) and changing gender norms expressed through parody.
Introduction
In recent years, spiritual practices have found expression through everyday digital engagements, particularly on social media platforms. These digital spaces not only facilitate personal spiritual expressions but also enable communal spiritual formations deeply intertwined with broader cultural and social dynamics (Campbell, 2005; Ciolek, 2004; Obadia, 2015). Spirituality is now increasingly viewed as reflective of everyday politics—a realm in which personal beliefs and communal values intersect, often subtly challenging dominant societal norms. Emerging scholarship suggests that digital spirituality could be understood as media practices that move beyond private introspection to reflect broader sociocultural conditions, becoming a significant site for everyday political resistance and negotiation (Asprem, 2020; Magliocco, 2020).
This framing expands analytical attention from spirituality as purely personal or transcendental toward viewing it as a dynamic reflection of everyday politics, where spiritual expressions actively engage with and illuminate cultural tensions and marginalized aspirations. By adopting this perspective, digital spirituality is conceptualized as a mediated negotiation involving cultural traditions, digital affordances, and everyday socio-political concerns. While cultural traditions provide symbolic resources, such as rituals, symbols, and narratives that individuals creatively adapt in digital contexts, platform features like algorithms and moderation policies largely impact how spiritual practices unfold. Furthermore, social conditions, including shifting family values, gender expectations, and regulatory frameworks, determine which spiritual practices resonate widely and why particular online spiritual activities emerge as culturally significant. Thus, digital spiritual practices can reveal often hidden social tensions, making them significant as expressions of everyday struggles and aspirations.
This perspective is particularly relevant when examining contexts like China, characterized by complex spiritual histories and extensive digital regulation (The State Council Information Office of the People’s Republic of China [SCIO], 2018; S. Wu, 2024; Zhao, 2020). Although China’s official oversight and religious pluralism historically shaped spiritual life, contemporary social media platforms now serve as arenas where users adapt these traditional practices. Although spiritual engagement on China’s internet is often regarded as self-directed practices (Fu et al., 2023), this study highlights how seemingly mundane and personal spiritual expressions can surface meaningful communal aspirations.
To illustrate these dynamics, this study focuses on a trending phenomenon on the Chinese social media platform Xiaohongshu (Rednote): the “Wish Me A Baby Boy” practice. This online activity, initially appearing as a mundane pursuit of good fortune in childbearing, reveals deeper cultural logics. Users adapt traditional Chinese concepts of making a wish (xu-yuan) and returning the favor (huan-yuan) to a digital format, navigating platform censorship and complex gender expectations. Through participation and contestation, including supportive interactions and irreverent parodies, users express different values related to fertility and gender roles. By examining this case, the study demonstrates that digital spirituality on social media becomes a significant space for everyday politics which negotiate social tensions, thereby contributing to the digital spirituality literature by (1) highlighting the political significance of everyday spiritual practices by revealing marginalized aspirations; (2) demonstrating how platform affordances specifically mediate and reshape traditional rituals; and (3) illustrating how digital spirituality serves as an ideological negotiation between traditional cultural values (such as son preference) and changing gender expectations.
Literature Review
Contemporary spirituality often emerges outside traditional religious institutions, taking shape through diverse cultural and philosophical roots and everyday practices (Chidester, 2005; Davidsen, 2016; Quillen, 2017). Unlike institutionalized religion, contemporary spirituality typically emphasizes personal experiences and subjective searches for meaning, purpose, and transcendence (Ammerman, 2013; Koenig, 2008; Roof, 2001). This distinction is captured succinctly by the increasingly popular identification as “spiritual but not religious,” highlighting spiritual autonomy detached from institutional affiliations (Ammerman, 2013; Harvey, 2016).
However, the terms “spirituality” and “religion” are also often used interchangeably, which is partly due to overlapping concerns with ultimate meaning, purpose, and well-being (Chidarikire, 2012), irrespective of institutional boundaries. Rather than emphasizing their divergence, this study adopts a broader, inclusive conceptualization of spirituality. This inclusive approach is particularly suitable within the contemporary Chinese context, where spirituality frequently integrates both formal religious and informal secular practices (Chau, 2011; Y. Yang & Huang, 2018).
The rise of digital technologies has significantly amplified the diversity of spiritual expressions by creating spaces where both religious and non-religious practices can flourish outside traditional institutional framework (Campbell, 2005; Jackelén, 2021; Obadia, 2015). Digital spiritual practices disrupt conventional hierarchies by decentralizing traditional religious authority and enabling more participatory, user-driven forms of engagement (Campbell, 2007; Cheong, 2017). Social media platforms have therefore become pivotal sites for spiritual exploration, communication, and community formation. They facilitate both communal expressions of shared belief and personal negotiations of meaning, allowing individuals to situate their spiritual identities within wider cultural, social, and technological contexts (Haq & Kwok, 2024).
Spirituality Between Personal and Communal Practice
Modern spirituality often emphasizes personal, subjective experience over strictly institutionalized structure. Scholars such as Roof (2001) and Mercadante (2014) highlight modern spirituality’s focus on subjective experiences and self-directed spiritual practices, emphasizing a move away from formal institutions toward more personalized forms of devotion. Motak (2009) similarly describes this “postmodern spirituality” as marked by an inward “subjective turn,” prioritizing personal meaning-making over adherence to external authorities or norms.
Yet labeling spirituality purely as a personal pursuit can obscure the ways in which communal dimensions persist, especially in digital contexts. Digital platforms are not just spaces for individual spiritual expression; they actively facilitate collective engagement through shared rituals, identities, and community-building activities (Campbell & Evolvi, 2020; Schaap & Aupers, 2017). Campbell and Vitullo (2016) also demonstrate how scholarly understanding of digital spirituality evolved from viewing online practices as separate and individual-focused activities toward recognizing the interconnected nature of personal and communal spirituality. Their analysis highlights how online spiritual communities integrate personal practices with shared forms of engagement, creating digitally mediated spiritual communities rather than mere aggregations of individual practitioners (Campbell & Vitullo, 2016). In addition, politically engaged spiritual practices online illustrate how personal spiritual practices intersect deeply with communal activities, fostering shared social and activist goals. For example, digital spiritual practices such as online witchcraft communities combine spiritual identity with political advocacy, exemplifying how digital spirituality extends beyond personal reflection to engage meaningfully with broader social discourses (Orrell, 2019).
Drawing from this literature, the present study is inspired to examine how personal spiritual aspirations transform into communal spiritual expressions through digital platforms. It seeks to further explore how individuals negotiate the tension between private spiritual practices and communal cultural norms. In addition, the research expands upon existing studies by focusing specifically on how Chinese digital spirituality navigates culturally sensitive topics within regulated online environments, thereby contributing an underrepresented perspective to broader scholarship on digital spirituality.
Digital Spirituality in the Chinese Context
While existing scholarship on digital spirituality largely focuses on Western contexts, China presents a distinctive landscape influenced by religious pluralism, state regulation, and vibrant internet cultures. More importantly, applying “spirituality” broadly to encompass both institutionalized religious practices and personalized expressions becomes particularly necessary in the Chinese context. In China, spirituality encompasses both explicitly religious and secular practices, partly because Chinese religions such as Buddhism and Taoism lack explicit membership rituals (Pew Research Center, 2023). Consequently, individuals often practice religious philosophies without associating them explicitly with formal religious identities (Chau, 2011; F. Yang, 2011). The blending of beliefs in everyday life is historically rooted in China’s “syncretism of three teachings” (三教合一), where Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism coexist and interact, deeply influencing daily cultural practices and values (Gentz, 2011). This historical blending might illustrate the inherently inclusive nature of spirituality in China.
Yet, this inclusive spiritual landscape exists within a state system that officially promotes atheism and historically distinguishes “religion” from “superstition” (Goossaert & Palmer, 2011). The Chinese Communist Party maintains strict ideological control through the notion of socialist spiritual civilization (Feng, 2022), and practices falling outside of officially sanctioned religions are often labeled as superstitious or illegitimate (F. Yang, 2006). At the same time, the state selectively embraces certain spiritual and ritual practices as cultural resources, repurposing traditional customs in modern contexts for political and economic ends (H. Chen & Tao, 2017; Overmyer, 2009; Siu, 1990). In this way, spiritual practices are tolerated or even encouraged when aligned with state narratives, yet still subject to ideological framing.
Chau’s (2011) concept of “doing religion” offers a theoretical foundation for this research, emphasizing practices and behaviors rather than identity or formal affiliation. In China, spirituality frequently manifests through everyday practices and customs, rather than formal declarations of faith or institutional adherence (Chau, 2011; Y. Yang & Huang, 2018). This may also resonates with Butler’s (2022) notion of “spirituality as a way of life,” which frames spirituality not merely as religious belief or identity, but as lived epistemology—a practical, embodied code influencing everyday behaviors, perceptions, and interactions. Thus, when applying the concept of spirituality to the Chinese context, this study acknowledges a naturally inclusive scope that integrates traditionally religious and non-religious practices, encompassing broader cultural, familial, and personal values.
In addition, discussions of personal versus communal spiritual practices may take on distinctive significance within the Chinese digital environment. Privacy and anonymity hold significant cultural value (Farrall, 2008; Herold & Marolt, 2011; McDougall, 2002), meaning publicly expressing private or intimate spiritual desires may not be universally accepted or practiced. Communal spiritual expressions on digital platforms may also face significant structural challenges. King et al. (2013, 2017) demonstrate that Chinese censorship systematically targets online collective expressions, even neutral or positive, to prevent potential social mobilization. Besides, previous studies suggest that Chinese digital spirituality typically prioritizes traditionally endorsed goals, such as personal well-being, family harmony, or material prosperity, rather than explicit political resistance or controversial private desires (S. Wu, 2024; Zhao, 2020). Even highly engaged digital spiritual practices are typically characterized as predominantly self-directed, focused on personal outcomes (Fu et al., 2023). This emphasis on personal benefit may reflect both cultural preferences and the impact of a censored and surveilled online space. Thus, these constraints may significantly shape how communal spiritual practices and expressions emerge online, especially when these practices fall into “gray markets” which are not officially recognized (F. Yang, 2006).
To concretely illustrate these dynamics, this research focuses on the trending topic “Wish Me a Baby Boy” on the Chinese platform Xiaohongshu (Rednote). This phenomenon digitally manifests the long-standing Chinese cultural preference for male offspring, historically rooted in Confucian traditions emphasizing lineage continuation and patrilineal inheritance (Das Gupta, 2010). This example demonstrates precisely how personal spiritual desires intersect with cultural expectations, digital media, and social norms, thereby creating meanings beyond isolated personal expressions.
Case Study: “#WishMeABabyBoy” on Xiaohongshu
Xiaohongshu is a user-generated content (UGC) social media platform launched in June 2013, providing a public, highly participatory digital space where users can share content on topics ranging from shopping and beauty to travel and lifestyle. By 2022, it had over 200 million monthly active users, with 72% born in the 1990s and 70% identifying as female, primarily from China’s first- and second-tier cities (Ren, 2022). The demographic, young, urban, and female, forms the core of Xiaohongshu’s engaged user base and is particularly relevant for studying spiritual practices, as this group often actively engages with spirituality (Ochs, 1997; Woodhead, 2007). Unlike many top Chinese platforms which rely heavily on celebrities or major influencers for content generation (Lan, 2022), Xiaohongshu enables ordinary users to gain visibility. Its user-centric design values all contributions, allowing new users to attract significant attention if their content resonates with the community (Xiaohongshu, 2022). These inclusive features make Rednote an ideal platform for examining grassroots and informal digital spiritual practices. This study focuses on one such practice: “#WishMeABabyBoy.”
In 2021, the hashtag “#WishMeABabyBoy” began trending on Rednote, generating attention and criticism (Y. Wu, 2021; Xing, 2021). In Chinese, “接男宝” (jie-nan-bao) can be translated as “receive a baby boy.” This phrase parallels the popular expression “接好运” (jie-hao-yun), meaning “receive good luck.” Thus, “Wish Me A Baby Boy” suggests that the user hopes to gain the “luck” to conceive a son, often by symbolically receiving this fortune from users who already have one. Posts (which are called notes on Rednote) associated with the hashtag typically highlight a baby boy, and responses in the comments often follow a similar pattern, with users requesting the same “luck.”
Critics argue that the hashtag reinforces gender bias and societal stereotypes (Y. Wu, 2021; Xing, 2021). Its appearance coincided with the introduction of China’s three-child policy, which aimed to address the declining birth rate (Wee, 2021). However, the persistence of son preference in China predates contemporary policies. Historically, the desire for sons was widespread due to their perceived roles in lineage continuation, social status, and family inheritance, deeply rooted in patriarchal cultural values (Ling, 2017; M. Yang et al., 2023). The policy shift may have heightened public interest in fertility issues, leading people to seek advice, support, and symbolic blessings on social media. In the post-one-child-policy era, increased reproductive freedom paradoxically may intensify pressures on families, prompting some women, especially those with daughters seeking a son in subsequent pregnancies, to turn to spiritual practices to influence outcomes perceived as socially desirable. These pressures are compounded by the legal ban on fetal gender testing for non-medical purposes, introduced to curb sex-selective abortions and reduce gender imbalances (The State Council Information Office of the People’s Republic of China [SCIO], 2015, 2016). Although Xiaohongshu’s official stance opposes gender-biased content, such practices persist, sometimes through user strategies that avoid direct moderation (Xing, 2021).
“Wish Me A Baby Boy” appears to be a new digital manifestation of a long-standing cultural preference for sons in China. In earlier times, individuals might have turned to temples or folk traditions to secure a son. Today, social media platforms like Rednote provide a similar function, allowing users to express these desires online. As such, “Wish Me A Baby Boy” illustrates how traditional customs, cultural values, and shifting socio-political conditions shape contemporary digital spiritual practices.
Methods
A non-participatory observational approach was employed to gather data from the target platform, Xiaohongshu, without actively engaging in the community (Marshall & Rossman, 2014). This methodology enabled the study of users in their natural online environment, fostering a more accurate and authentic understanding of their behavior. Given the potential sensitivity of research topics involving mother-infant relations and gender inequality, the fabrication method was adopted to ensure ethical research conduct (Markham, 2012). The collected data was subjected to thematic and narrative analysis (Braun & Clarke, 2012; De Fina & Johnstone, 2015). By utilizing representative examples and investigating recurring language patterns, this research aims to provide a detailed depiction of how traditional spiritual practices are transported and adapted to the space of social media. Furthermore, it examines how authority is constructed and performed on social media platforms. By applying these analytical lenses, the research hopes to capture the detailed ways in which spiritual practices and authority unfold in digital spaces.
Data Collection and Database
According to the User Service Agreement of Xiaohongshu (2024), data scraping via third-party software was not permitted. Therefore, the data was collected manually by keyword searching. Using the keyword “接男宝” (wish me a baby boy), 108 notes posted between November 1 and November 30, 2022, were initially gathered. After cleaning the data, 105 notes related to newborn boys remained and formed the final dataset. These notes attracted a total of 12,536 comments, with an average of 119 comments per note and a median of 39 comments. While individual notes varied in engagement, overall participation was substantial.
All 105 notes were posted by users with fewer than 50,000 followers—well below the threshold for “top influencers” as defined by existing classification guidelines (X. Zhou et al., 2022). Most had fewer than 5000 followers, qualifying them as “amateurs” or “casual users” (X. Zhou et al., 2022), indicating that this phenomenon was driven primarily by ordinary users rather than high-profile personalities. Such a user base offers insight into grassroots practices, reflecting the behaviors and spiritual engagements of ordinary social media participants.
Attention to Ethics
The concern for data privacy was a paramount consideration in this research. To ensure strict anonymity, measures were taken to obscure any identifiable features that may be present in usernames, personal photographs and IP address posted on Rednote. In addition, free translation rather than literal translation was used to translate the Chinese notes into English to prevent any potential tracing of the original content. The fabrication method was adopted as an ethical measure to accurately represent the “Wish Me A Baby Boy” notes and preserve the complexities of online ritual places. Fabrication, in the context of this research, refers to the method of creating composite examples from multiple data to illustrate a specific phenomenon, which should not be confused with falsifying or manipulating data (Markham, 2012).
Table 1 presents the fabrication of a “Wish Me A Baby Boy” note and its associated comment list. The content of the post is based on one that has the highest engagement metrics (likes, favorites, and comments). It also incorporates some of the most frequently recurring hashtags in all collected notes. Similarly, the comment list is based on the comments that appear most frequently in the dataset. Consequently, even if the displayed content is translated back into Chinese and searched on Rednote, it would not point to a specific note. Nonetheless, the content remains highly representative of the larger user behaviors and discourses observed on the platform.
Fabrication of a “Wish Me A Baby Boy” Note and Its Comment List.
Data Analysis
Utilizing thematic analysis and narrative analysis methods, this case study provides an in-depth understanding of the “Wish Me A Baby Boy” spiritual practice. Rather than merely identifying recurring motifs within the collected social media content, the analysis explores how both thematic patterns and narrative interactions between post authors and commenters actively shape the meaning and significance of this practice (Braun & Clarke, 2012; De Fina & Johnstone, 2015).
Thematic analysis offers a structured approach to identifying recurring patterns across posts, helping to build a conceptual model of the practice’s core themes (Braun & Clarke, 2012). Through this method, I delineate common themes revealing how users express personal desires within a shared spiritual framework. These themes reflect cultural values and collective aspirations, aligning with traditional spiritual practices while adapting them to the digital platform. This structured thematic approach ensures that the analysis remains systematic, reliable, and attuned to the cultural underpinnings of the content.
Complementing the thematic analysis, narrative analysis provides deeper insight by focusing on the personal, social, and interactive dimensions of the narratives. Rather than simply analyzing language, this approach emphasizes the roles of the storytellers (post authors) and the social interactions among users (De Fina & Johnstone, 2015). In digital spirituality, narrative interactions are central to expressing and reinforcing spiritual identity, as narratives offer a meaningful framework through which individuals shape their personal and relational identities (Carlson & Erickson, 2000; Ruffing, 2012). By sharing personal stories and experiences, users not only articulate their spiritual self-understanding but also engage in dynamic interactions online that may reflect broader social relations and aspirations.
By integrating thematic and narrative analysis, this research provides a holistic perspective on how digital spiritual practices are constructed, performed, and transformed within online communities. The combined methodological approach enhances the study’s validity and reliability, offering a comprehensive view of the social, emotional, and cultural interrelation embedded in these digital practices.
Analysis and Discussion
Through observation and analysis of the collected notes and comments, this study identifies several central themes in the “Wish Me A Baby Boy” phenomenon. Users rely on basic platform features, carefully chosen language, and an emphasis on engagement metrics. They maintain links to traditional spiritual practices while simultaneously exhibiting unique traits of contemporary internet culture. To address the ethical constraints preventing direct presentation of the original data, representative and recurring quotations (translated into English) serve as empirical illustrations. The following analysis shows how users adapt traditional spiritual rituals into symbolic social media interaction. These practices are shaped by platform dynamics and sociocultural constraints, producing shared expressions of aspiration. At the same time, parody and humorous reversals of the trend reveal the digital space as a contested site, where traditional gender norms are questioned, and new gender expectations are voiced through subtle yet potent forms of critique.
Adaptive Spirituality: Digital Transmutation of “xu-yuan” and “huan-yuan”
The “Wish Me A Baby Boy” phenomenon on Rednote reflects a variation of the popular trend on Chinese social media where users repost to attract good fortune (Zhao, 2020). However, a closer examination of user comments reveals deeper connections to the long-standing Chinese traditions of “xu-yuan” (许愿, making a wish) and “huan-yuan” (还愿, returning the favor). These practices, which have their origins in Buddhist rituals, have transcended religious contexts to become embedded in secular customs and continue to hold significance in Chinese culture (Fayin, 2018; Huiwu & Li, 2012). In the traditional “xu-yuan” and “huan-yuan” context, individuals make wishes or pray to a higher entity, such as a deity or ancestor, promising to reciprocate upon wish fulfillment. The rituals may involve actions like kowtow, burning incense, making food or monetary offerings. This process is mirrored on Rednote, where users comment on posts by mothers who have given birth to boys, making their own wishes for male offspring. If their wishes are granted, they return to these posts to express gratitude explicitly using the term “还愿” (huan-yuan), such as by commenting, “I have given birth to a healthy baby boy and am here to huanyuan” (Table 1). In doing so, users publicly acknowledge their wish fulfillment, engaging in a symbolic, digital form of traditional “xu-yuan” and “huan-yuan” rituals.
This form of digital spirituality exemplifies a broader pattern of eclectic and adaptive practices, as seen in many digital spiritual communities. Renser and Tiidenberg (2020) note that practitioners often blend elements from various traditions, retaining some features and discarding others, to create highly personalized, hybrid forms of engagement. Similarly, the “xu-yuan” and “huan-yuan” rituals on Rednote do not merely replicate traditional practices digitally but substantially reshape their structure and meaning. Ritual components traditionally involving physical spaces and tangible objects, such as temples, incense burning, and material offerings, are streamlined into symbolic digital actions, primarily through textual expressions and emojis in comments. Direct, face-to-face interactions are replaced by asynchronous communication across comment sections, facilitating continuous spiritual engagement. Digital interactions such as likes and comments serve as symbolic replacements for traditional offerings like flowers or fruits, forming a new form of symbolic reciprocity unique to digital platforms.
In this environment, spiritual authority emerges through personal narratives. Instead of venerating deities, users praise peers who represent “achieved luck.” These individuals deliberately highlight their own improbable success stories to showcase their “power,” For instance, expressions like “Spontaneous vaginal delivery. No episiotomy, and no tear!” and “Never suffered a day throughout the pregnancy” are employed to accentuate the authors’ own extraordinary fortune. Some even recount journeys where early indicators pointed to having a girl (based on traditional beliefs about belly shape or taste preferences), yet they ultimately bore a son, attributing the outcome to the mother’s unwavering devotion and spiritual engagement. Unlike traditional religious authority, which is legitimized through institutional hierarchies and doctrinal control (Campbell, 2007; Chaves, 1994), the spiritual authority seen here is user-generated. It is built on perceived authenticity and sustained through communal recognition, resembling user-driven expressions of faith where authority is co-created and negotiated in ongoing interactions between participants (Campbell, 2007; Cheong, 2017). In this digital context, authority functions more as credibility and influence within a community, constructed through storytelling and symbolic displays of success. This phenomenon parallels how religious influencers establish authority online through personal authenticity and relatable narratives (Beta, 2019; Febrian, 2024). As Febrian (2024) points out, influencers often balance informality and intimacy with strategic distancing to establish credibility. Similarly, Rednote users draw on narratives of struggle and success to cultivate authenticity, while carefully negotiating their spiritual authority through the selective disclosure of personal successes and the symbolic presentation of their fortunate outcomes.
Compared to spiritual influencers in Western contexts, participants of the “Wish Me A Baby Boy” trend face greater complexities in navigating platform governance. Users strategically adapt their practices to cope with censorship and moderation on Rednote. While the original “#WishMeABabyBoy” hashtag was removed due to its overt gender bias, users quickly adapted by employing alternative, neutral phrases and creative wording to maintain visibility. One notable adaptation is the strategic use of hashtags to enhance visibility and target specific audiences. Among the collected notes, 89% incorporate at least one hashtag, with an average of four per note and a maximum of thirteen. These hashtags often begin with gender-neutral terms like “#GetPregnancyLuck” or “#Baby” and then transition to more specific ones, such as “#BabyBoy” or “#Son.” This strategy not only reflects Chinese internet users’ long-standing practice of keyword substitution to evade censorship (L. Chen et al., 2013) but also effectively targets intended audiences. This tactics rely on Rednote’s real-time attribution algorithm, which tailors content recommendations based on user behaviors (Y. Guo & Dong, 2019). Such mechanisms help ensure that notes are primarily exposed to sympathetic audiences while minimizing visibility to outsiders and avoiding potential criticism. The subtlety and indirectness of these digital spiritual practices also distinguish them from the more visible communal spiritual expressions common on Western social media platforms. Unlike spiritual communities that openly articulate and publicly showcase their beliefs (Miller, 2022), the spiritual elements in the “Wish Me A Baby Boy” trend are integrated subtly into everyday interactions. Often invisible within mainstream narratives, these indirect forms of spirituality blend with commonplace platform activities such as liking, commenting, and hashtagging.
This case not only illustrates the eclectic feature of digital spirituality but also shows the adaptability of Chinese spirituality. By stripping away most physical elements of traditional ritual and replacing them with textual invocations, emojis, and algorithmically filtered hashtags, these practices expose the core logic of Chinese spirituality: a flexible, user-driven approach that values personal agency over institutional control. Rather than strictly adhering to a prescribed doctrine or hierarchical authority, practitioners draw on cultural memory, collective aspirations, and communal storytelling to digitally re-enact the traditional rituals of “xu-yuan” (making wishes) and “huan-yuan” (returning gratitude), particularly addressing anxieties related to fertility. As users learn to navigate censorship, seek sympathetic audiences, and recast everyday media practices as a collective expression, they demonstrate the compatibility between long-standing cultural beliefs and the technical, interactive structures of social media.
Motivations and Ethical Dilemmas: The Dynamics of Participation
A closer look at the posts from participants in the “Wish Me A Baby Boy” trend reveals a clear distinction between the motivations of commenters and authors. For commenters, their motivation is relatively transparent, largely driven by a strong personal desire to have a son. This is reflected in their enthusiastic participation, often seen through their repetitive engagement and a high level of emotional investment in the posts. This interaction aligns with traditional practices of “xu-yuan” and “huan-yuan”, where people seek blessings and feel a sense of support for their desires.
In contrast, motivations of authors, users who create original posts, are more elusive and display motivations that are less immediately apparent but still crucial to understanding this phenomenon. Although motivations may be challenging to pinpoint precisely, interpreting them is essential to explaining why these individuals significantly engage in, and even actively lead, this practice despite multiple pressures, including platform constraints, marginalization by mainstream values, and potential anxiety associated with publicly expressing private desires. Notably, analysis of 108 original posts and authors’ profiles reveals no evidence of direct monetization, affiliate links, product placements, or attempts to build personal brands, contrasting sharply with common practices documented among social media influencers and content creators who typically aim for commercial outcomes (Duffy, 2017; Renser & Tiidenberg, 2024).
Despite the absence of clear material incentives, authors actively attempt to attract attention, leveraging clickbait-style statements such as “Don’t like if you don’t want a baby boy” or “Click on this note and you will have a baby boy.” While these statements resemble conventional attention-seeking strategies common among social media creators (Agrawal, 2016), there is no observable intent toward commodification or monetization. This represents a notable divergence from existing literature on spiritual commodification online, where spiritual practitioners often blend spiritual ideals with deliberate commercial strategies (Renser & Tiidenberg, 2024). Authors on Rednote neither sell products nor explicitly market themselves as spiritual service providers.
Yet, these authors still invest significant labor into content creation, which aligns more closely with the concept of “aspirational labor” (Duffy, 2017), where participants produce unpaid digital content motivated by desires for social validation, attention, or community recognition rather than immediate financial compensation. The Rednote authors thus may exemplify an alternative model of digital spiritual participation, which is motivated not by profit but by identity expression or emotional fulfillment. This dynamic also echoes Baym’s (2015) description of how digital media platforms primarily facilitate personal connections and emotional exchanges, rewarding users with social rather than monetary currencies. By framing digital interactions as symbolic acts of spiritual aspiration, which turns everyday platform features into meaningful exchanges, authors transform ordinary digital engagement into a culturally resonant practice, demonstrating that motivations can transcend material benefits.
Besides, both spirituality and son preference, central to this trend, have ambiguous positions in the Chinese society. While spiritual practices have seen a resurgence in recent years, they remain somewhat detached from mainstream acceptance. Similarly, despite its long-standing negative social impact, son preference still persists but is increasingly criticized as outdated and incompatible with modern values (Ling, 2017; M. Yang et al., 2023). Evidence of this marginalization is apparent through Rednote’s official policies and public responses, as mentioned earlier. The platform actively censors hashtags related to infant gender preferences, and critical articles and commentaries in publications suggest the broader societal disapproval of the values (Y. Wu, 2021; Xing, 2021). For the authors in this trend, sharing images or stories that emphasize son preference taps into a value system often labeled as outdated or regressive in dominant public discourse. Offline, explicitly expressing a desire for sons may draw criticism, as such attitudes are frequently associated with lower levels of education and urbanization (Ling, 2017). China’s official rhetoric promotes gender equality as a fundamental national policy (L. Guo, 2022), and portrayals of empowered female characters with growing subjectivity have become increasingly visible in media (He & Liu, 2024), signaling progress toward gender parity. Yet these ideological shifts coexist with persistent gender hierarchies in practice, as discrimination in education, employment, and family roles continues to shape women’s lived experiences (Y. Zhou, 2025). In this context, son preference may function as an emotionally rationalized and socially reinforced coping strategy, sustained by both structural constraints and affective pressures (Y. Zhou, 2025). While public discourse marginalizes these beliefs, online platforms provide a partial escape from judgment, allowing these authors to connect with like-minded individuals who share and appreciate their values. This creates a space where they can confidently, and even proudly, engage in self-expression, albeit sometimes employing subtle strategies to bypass platform moderation. This aligns with Shepherd and Edelmann’s (2005) findings that online spaces can alleviate social exclusion, offering individuals a platform where they feel accepted despite holding beliefs that might be censured in everyday life.
The high engagement and interaction rates observed in related posts indicate that these expressions receive considerable support. The digital space enables these participants, primarily women, to voice their aspirations, anxieties, and longings. This visibility reveals a persistent dilemma: although son preference is increasingly framed as outdated in modern discourse, it continues to be reinforced by enduring traditional expectations as well as current structural and affective pressures. When these deeply internalized pressures disproportionately affect women, even amid moderation and regulatory constraints, personal and intimate longings gradually coalesce into a noticeable communal voice.
This phenomenon thus illuminates the ways in which digital spirituality both reflects and reconfigures broader social hopes and concerns. The communal nature of the practice underscores that, while spiritual engagement might start as a personal pursuit, it can transform into a force that sustains particular values and norms. The role of digital spirituality therefore raises important ethical and social questions. While digital platforms like Rednote foster connections around shared aspirations, they can also perpetuate problematic cultural values that have long contributed to gender inequality. Son preference has lasting consequences that include high rates of female infanticide, child abandonment, and social pressure on women to produce male offspring (M. Yang et al., 2023). Such practices have not only reinforced patriarchal norms but have also inflicted significant harm on women and girls, both physically and socially.
The “Wish Me a Baby Boy” trend exemplifies how digital media can, perhaps unintentionally, normalize or even celebrate these values within certain online communities. By providing a public space where users with similar beliefs can connect and validate each other, platforms like Rednote may contribute to the persistence of son preference as a socially accepted goal. This phenomenon illustrates a potential downside of digital spirituality: the risk of entrenching outdated, harmful beliefs by fostering online communication and rituals that endorse and amplify them. In this sense, digital spirituality is not merely a matter of personal devotion or cultural continuity; it is a dynamic, mediated negotiation of social values—one that can either challenge or reinforce entrenched inequalities.
Irreverent Expression: “Wish Me Infertility”
Despite authors’ efforts to direct their posts toward like-minded individuals through targeted hashtags, social media algorithms are not always precise. As a result, “Wish Me A Baby Boy” posts sometimes reach users outside the intended audience, exposing them to individuals who reject or question these values. This audience mismatch often generates visible conflicts, typically expressed through mockery, satire, and parody.
Parody is an influential mode of digital cultural expression, uniquely effective at exposing underlying assumptions and critiquing dominant societal norms (Phillips & Milner, 2017). It acts as a subtle form of everyday political discourse online, through which users humorously articulate dissent and engage in ideological negotiations (Highfield, 2016). In Chinese online communications, parody is also a culturally resonant mode of expression, often described as “egao,” a specific form of digitally enabled satire that humorously subverts dominant cultural discourses, social hierarchies, and authoritative narratives (Gong & Yang, 2010). Online parody in China is characterized by its capacity to juxtapose absurd or exaggerated interpretations of social norms, providing an alternative form of social critique and emotional catharsis within online spaces (Gong & Yang, 2010).
Within the context of Xiaohongshu, parody is especially relevant given the platform’s predominantly young, educated, urban female user base and its increasingly visible feminist-oriented discourse (Geng et al., 2024; Gu et al., 2024). Feminist scholarship highlights how irony and parody function as everyday political tactics, allowing users to disrupt and question traditional gender expectations through humor (Sunden & Paasonen, 2020). In the Chinese context, parody becomes a natural medium for challenging traditional values such as son preference, precisely because it enables the critique of sensitive gender norms without seriously confronting the established discourse in the “Wish Me A Baby Boy” community.
In this case study, parodic comments emerge as a deliberate counter-narrative. While “Wish Me A Baby Boy” trend participants focus on successful pregnancies, parodic commenters invert these wishes, recasting “good luck” as a desire to remain child-free. For example, comments like “Wish me infertility” or “Get the luck to no marriage no child” mimic the original short, chant-like syntax of the trend but convey an opposing value system. Although original comments cannot be presented due to ethical considerations, these comments construct recurring narrative structures within comment sections, rather than isolated anecdotal evidence.
Notably, both original wish-making and parody comments rarely engage in lengthy, heated debates within the comments section. Instead, they exist as concise, repeated ritual-like utterances. However, beneath this surface simplicity lies meaningful differentiation. For instance, while traditional xu-yuan comments consistently use emojis symbolizing prayer and hearts to create mutual encouragement, parody comments frequently attract replies containing laughter such as “hahahaha,” creating a distinct sense of ideological resonance. The presence of such laughter indicates recognition and validation of the parody’s underlying critique and humor, differentiating these interactions markedly from the sincerity and seriousness characterizing original “Wish Me A Baby Boy” comments. In addition, parody comments sometimes express explicit aversion toward encountering the son preference content, associating it directly with bad luck. A typical response seen in such cases is the use of culturally recognizable folk sayings, such as “Dispel bad luck (厄运退散)”, which are traditionally employed to clear negative energy and misfortune. These expressions not only reject the original wishes but symbolically equate the desire for sons with an undesirable fate.
By mocking “Wish Me A Baby Boy” posts and inverting their content, these parody comments challenge both the authenticity and desirability of son preference and associated spiritual practices. Users who engage in parodic commentary may position themselves as more culturally aware or critically minded than those they perceive as naively participating in the trend. Research by Nansen et al. (2019) suggests that rejecting viral trends on social media can signal intellectual savvy and cultural capital. On Rednote, this becomes evident as parody commenters present childlessness as a progressive alternative to the traditional desire for sons. In doing so, these users critique not only the “superstitious” practice of making online wishes but also the broader societal norms that uphold this preference. This deliberate rhetorical inversion aligns closely with Highfield’s (2016) insights into parody as ideological critique, thereby substantiating the interpretation of parody as reflective of underlying ideological struggles rather than superficial humor.
This rhetorical maneuver resonates with shifting fertility patterns and social attitudes in urban China. Wealthier, more educated city dwellers are increasingly delaying or forgoing parenthood (Silverman et al., 2022), reflecting a broader shift in China where a growing number of young women prioritize personal development and autonomous choices over adherence to traditional gender narratives, despite motherhood being increasingly emphasized by the government as a patriotic duty (Calderwood, 2024; Wang, 2024). The tension witnessed in the comments of “Wish Me A Baby Boy” intersects with contemporary policy and societal discourse in China. Even as the state encourages higher birth rates (Wee, 2021), voluntary childlessness and shifting gender norms gain visibility in urban centers. Son preference, long entrenched in Chinese culture, is increasingly viewed as an anachronism. Yet, this perspective itself remains contested, as pro-birth policies and traditional family ideals retain significant influence. Parody provides a means for users to voice dissent against these discourses, employing humor to highlight the gap between state-endorsed ideals and individual aspirations and expose tensions between traditional cultural norms and evolving societal values.
Conclusion
This study analyzed the “#WishMeABabyBoy” phenomenon on Xiaohongshu (Rednote), demonstrating how digital spirituality functions as media practices that reflect everyday politics by articulating marginalized aspirations and anxieties frequently overlooked in mainstream discourse. The findings highlight that digital spirituality is not merely a personalized spiritual pursuit but an ongoing negotiation involving cultural memories, contested social norms, and subtle yet pervasive social tensions specific to contemporary China.
Specifically, the analysis showed that participants creatively adapt traditional rituals of xu-yuan (wish-making) and huan-yuan (returning gratitude) to digital textual forms, illustrating a process of spiritual innovation that maintains cultural continuity while engaging platform affordances. The interactions observed among users also revealed complex motivations behind participation: Commenters primarily participated driven by strong personal desires for sons, engaging enthusiastically and repetitively; meanwhile, authors of the “Wish Me A Baby Boy” posts, despite no visible economic incentives, invested labor in content creation which is possibly driven by desires for emotional fulfillment and communal recognition. Simultaneously, parodic commentary exposed deeper ideological tensions around traditional family ideals, gender norms, and spiritual legitimacy. Ultimately, this case study contributes to digital spirituality research by demonstrating that digital spiritual practices can surface culturally marginalized aspirations, mediate and transform traditional rituals through platform affordances, and serve as sites for ideological negotiation between traditional cultural norms and modern values. The Chinese context, characterized by stringent platform regulation, long-standing cultural traditions, and emerging feminist discourse, makes this phenomenon uniquely important for understanding digital spirituality as a dynamic reflection of sociocultural change.
However, the scope of this research is limited. It focuses on a specific platform, Xiaohongshu, and a particular cultural context, which may not fully capture how digital spirituality manifests in other regions, platforms, or thematic areas. The emphasis on one trending topic within a given timeframe also restricts the broader applicability of the findings. Additional research might be needed to compare digital spiritual practices across different digital environments, socio-political contexts, and user demographics. Such comparative studies could provide more insights into how cultural traditions interact with digital infrastructures and how these dynamics vary by location, platform, or tradition. Moreover, the data relied on textual and image-based content visible to a researcher as a non-participatory observer. Future investigations might employ interviews or participant observation to enrich the analysis of user motives and emotional investments. Greater attention could also be given to how evolving platform algorithms, changes in state policies, and emergent social issues shape the contours of digital spirituality over time.
Footnotes
Ethical considerations
There are no human participants in this article, and informed consent is not required.
Funding
The author(s) received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.
Declaration of conflicting interests
The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.