Growing Up Online Through Divorce: Child Influencers and Family Change in Indonesia

Abstract

Drawing upon divorce cases of Indonesian celebrities with children, I explore the growing online visibility of childhood during and after parental separation. Using a socio-demographic perspective, I examine how rising divorce rates in Indonesia intersect with the increasing portrayals of diverse family structures on social media like Instagram. On one hand, the online visibility of child influencers from divorced celebrity families challenges hegemonic portrayals of the ideal nuclear family, once propagated by the New Order government before its fall in 1998. By amplifying fragments of complex household structures, these child influencers, along with those who have since grown up, have the potential to shape public attitudes and foster greater acceptance of family diversity. On the other hand, it remains uncertain whether this online visibility reduces or inadvertently reinforces the stigma surrounding divorce and growing up through divorce.

Introduction

Much of the existing research on family and child influencers in Indonesia has focused on legal aspects (Rafsanjani, 2022) and the commodification of children, particularly in relation to labor exploitation and parental control over their digital personas (Aqila Tazkia & Abraham Zakky, 2022; Desthia et al., 2024). Far less attention has been given to how children experiencing family separation, or those growing up in non-intact families, are increasingly featured in online content, despite potentially distinctive forms of exposure and associated risks this may involve.

Drawing upon high-profile divorce cases involving Indonesian (traditional) celebrities with children—whether young or now grown-up—I explore the growing visibility of childhood during and after parental separation on social media. In this commentary, I use Abidin’s (2018) conceptualization of traditional celebrities on the internet to refer to Indonesian actors, models, presenters, and singers who have built upon their pre-existing fame with online clout; often, they skillfully adopt social media to connect with their audience and strengthen their personal branding. I apply a socio-demographic perspective to connect rising divorce rates in Indonesia with how Instagram has enabled diverse portrayals of family life, particularly from the perspectives of children from non-intact celebrity families. I argue that by amplifying fragments of increasingly complex and viable household structures—those that are seen as functional, socially acceptable, and sustainable despite their complexity—social media platforms like Instagram have the potential to shape public attitudes and foster greater acceptance of family diversity. On one hand, the online presence and visibility of young and grown-up children of divorced celebrities have challenged hegemonic portrayals of the ideal (nuclear) family, once propagated by the New Order government before its fall in 1998. On the other hand, there is uncertainty in whether they help reduce or inadvertently reinforce the stigma around divorce, being divorced, and growing up through divorce.

Divorce in the age of Instagram: family transitions as a public spectacle

As a social demographer, my research centers on the changing marriage and family patterns in contemporary Indonesia. In the course of my research, I have observed how demographic trends in marriage and family are reflected and, at times, amplified in curated posts, stories, reels, and narratives on Instagram. Engagement, marriage, births, first birthdays, and children’s graduations are all key demographic markers in an individual’s and family’s life course. For celebrities and social media influencers, these markers of family transitions are more than mere population statistics; they are “relatable” milestones with the potential for amplified engagement and growing public attention (Abidin, 2017), creating opportunities for the growth of the adult parents’ and potentially their children’s digital capital (Abidin, 2023; Ågren, 2023). These events are increasingly documented and shared online, not only by the individuals directly affected but also by interested third parties. As a platform, Instagram portrays and narrates these demographic markers over the entire lifespan (Leaver et al., 2020), offering a rich source of data for social demographers to study how people understand, perceive, and form attitudes toward marriage and family. It is through this analytical lens of family and life course transitions that I turn to how children and young people are portrayed or portraying themselves online.

One corner of this child influencer space on Instagram that has increasingly caught my attention is how children growing up amid their parents’ public separation are visually represented, and the broader narratives constructed around their experiences. I am particularly interested in the cases of celebrities whose family, and especially whose children, have become unwilling participants in the spectacle of their parents’ very public breakups on social media. What happens to the children when the script of joyful milestones in how doing and being family online is disrupted through divorce?

This commentary reflects on the Instagram accounts of Indonesian celebrities and their children who have experienced family separation. The selection of accounts was purposive and guided by a set of criteria: the level of public visibility of the family separation, the presence of children within their narratives, and a large following (in this case, more than 500k followers), all of which are indicative of the broader influence on public perceptions of family dynamics. My observation is not limited to recent divorces (e.g. in the last year) but also includes cases that remain relevant and continue to shape discourse around family transitions as of 2025. This includes child influencers with their own accounts, children without accounts who are featured in their parents’ social media, and grown-up children of divorced celebrities. The data for this commentary was sourced from publicly accessible Instagram accounts. I have taken steps to anonymize the identities of all child influencers and their parents while providing links to young adults’ accounts who had grown up through divorce.

Managed by (#divorced) @mum & @dad

The portrayed experiences and trajectories of children of celebrities growing up amid public divorces on social media are far from uniform. Some children do not have their own accounts but are prominently featured on their parents’ accounts, with their identities closely tied to parental branding. Others may have already established their own Instagram presence before the divorce or had accounts created for them by their parents or management. Following parental separation, the bios of these accounts often indicate that the child’s account is managed by one parent or jointly by both divorced parents.

These variations in how children are portrayed online may reflect the differing levels of conflict and cooperation between parents during and after the divorce process. For instance, one child influencer’s bio stated: “Official account of @child (managed by papa @dad and mama @mum),” with a link to the child’s recently released song on YouTube, marking their debut as a singer. Bios are subject to change as parental arrangements shift over time. For example, the bios in the accounts of two siblings from another divorced couple initially read “managed by @mum” but were later updated to: “The daily diary of @child, proud Father @dad & Mother @mum, managed by parents,” with a link to the respective child’s official Facebook account.

Indeed, the public portrayal of such conflicts and family transitions can vary depending on how much time has passed since the divorce, and thus the individual children’s age and associated life course. During conflictual separations—especially amid custody battles—narratives and depictions of children as “victims of divorce” (“korban perceraian”) often take center stage. Once the conflict subsides, followers may observe emerging co-parenting strategies, such as children spending time across split households during Ramadhan and Eid festivities, and taking turns holidaying overseas with each parent separately, or occasionally together. For example, the depiction of amicable relationships in child-centered events that bring divorced parents together, or that are expected to, includes graduations and birthdays. Commenters respond to their situations in varying ways. Some see the children as innocent victims: “those poor kids, it seems their inner psychological scars can’t be hidden anymore. They don’t appear as cheerful as they used to.” Others commend them for their potential for taking up the role in mediating and/or fixing familial relationships: “@mum @dad @child Happy New Year, please reunite again.”

After parental divorce, some children may be catapulted to greater internet fame in their young adulthood. This increased visibility is often due to frequent content and media coverage of their parents’ divorce and the complex family dynamics that emerge following remarriage. As a result, they craft public personas of resilience and overcoming adversity while growing up in non-intact families. In these cases, their amplified digital capital helps them launch their careers as musicians, actors, microcelebrities, or politicians (e.g. Atta, 2025; Bramasta, 2025; Jaelani, 2025; Thariq, 2025).

What can be seen through this is that platforms like Instagram publicly showcase curated images, Reels, and narratives that illustrate how these children grow up through various stages of their family life (as seen in other societal contexts, see Abidin, 2017; Barnwell et al., 2023). These stages include what was once a harmonious marriage, parental separation, potential remarriage, and their entry into stepfamilies and co-parenting arrangements. In some cases where divorce occurred in the distant past, contents shared on Instagram provides partial longitudinal insights into how children from non-intact families transition into adulthood and start their own families, as in the case of the mega-influencer, Aurelie Hermansyah Atta (2025). The divorce of her parents in 2009 exemplifies this: their children grew up through their difficult divorce, remarriage, and the birth of new siblings. Eventually, the family made amends and reunited. Instagram accounts from involved parties highlighted the shift in the language of divorce, remarriage, and stepfamilies.

Terms like “keluarga sambung” (connected family) and “ibu sambung” (connected mother) gained popularity, replacing the negative connotations of “ibu tiri” (stepmother) due to the harmonious relationship between Aurelie and her stepmother. These snapshots and narratives of family-making form alternative but viable biographies of families (see Abidin, 2017, 2020) in Indonesia. Through depicting diverse forms of householding, we see a kaleidoscopic longitudinal portrait of families. In this way, growing portrayals of children growing up through complex family transitions challenge conventional ideas about how a family is formed, what it can look like, and how it should be.

Child influencers, divorce, and family change in post-Reformasi Indonesia

Historical trends in divorce in Indonesia are notably distinctive (Dommaraju & Jones, 2011). While divorce rates generally increase with economic development, modernization, and social change, Indonesia’s divorce rates followed a unique trajectory. In the Muslim-majority archipelago, divorce was relatively high in the past. Divorce rates began to decline after Indonesia’s independence in 1945 and continued through the New Order regime (1966–1998) (Heaton et al., 2001). This decline has been attributed to a shift from arranged marriages to self-chosen love marriages, alongside improvements in women’s education, delayed marriage ages, and state-driven campaigns to change norms around marriage and family (Heaton et al., 2001). The New Order’s Keluarga Berencana (Family Planning) program promoted developmental idealism (see Thornton et al., 2015), emphasizing a two-child family, delayed marriage, and the importance of family harmony in achieving material prosperity (Gertler & Molyneaux, 1994). The onset of Reformasi in 1998—a period of democratization and decentralization following the end of Suharto’s New Order—marked a significant upturn in divorce numbers, rates, and public representation. With the majority of divorce petitions filed by women, scholars have attributed the rise in divorce rates to the greater autonomy for women to end their marriages (Cammack & Heaton, 2011).

In this context of rising divorce rates, child influencers who grow up online during and after their parents’ divorce contribute to making complex family structures more visible in post-Reformasi Indonesia. By sharing their curated experience on social media, these children, and those who had grown up, help normalize alternative family forms, such as stepfamilies, blended families, and single-parent households. These portrayals challenge the hegemonic representation of the two-child nuclear family under the New Order’s Family Planning and contribute to the increasingly diverse representation of household structures.

The increasing visibility of alternative family forms reflects a broader shift in post-Reformasi Indonesia, where social media platforms and online mainstream media have created new spaces for diverse representations of family structures. These platforms have replaced the New Order’s monopoly in producing and disseminating idealized family norms (Utomo et al., 2022). Social media like Instagram have become a marketplace of ideas and ideals, with influencers promoting a wide spectrum of family models: from conservative Islamic families at one extreme to childfree lifestyles at the other. This diversity contributes to the democratization of family models and aspirations. However, in this growing marketplace of ideas and ideals of the family, divorce—particularly “divorced women” (“Janda”)—remains stigmatized (Parker, 2016; Winarnita et al., 2024). This contentious socio-political and demographic landscape surrounding divorce, and norms surrounding marriage and family more broadly, should be noted when examining the Instagrammed lives of child influencers growing up through and following divorce.

For demographers and social scientists, exploring the phenomenon of child influencers growing up online through and following divorce offers a valuable lens for understanding the complex processes through which socio-political change intersects with demographic transitions and how social media shapes these dynamics. However, we know little about the effects of social media and increased public exposure to divorce on the divorcing couple and their family members. On one hand, it could foster greater acceptance, facilitate social support, reduce stigma, and promote well-being (Luppicini & Saleh, 2017). On the other hand, it could uphold or exacerbate stigma. The long-term implications of making such complex family transitions publicly visible on the well-being of child influencers, and of children and young people more broadly, remain underexplored (Kurniawati, 2025; Retnowati, 2022; Supratman, 2020).