This autoethnographic inquiry explores a personal transformation, tracing the author’s journey from a career in banking to that of an educational researcher. The narrative centers on a “disorienting dilemma” and the realization that foundational truths, like geometric axioms, are conditional. This rupture challenged deeply ingrained binary thinking, leading to an embodied and existential crisis that extended beyond purely rational reflection. The article, presented in a hybrid form that combines narrative, poetry, and collage, illustrates how this initial disorientation fostered a shift toward embracing complexity, pluralism, and an ongoing, fluid identity. It argues that transformation is a recursive, relational process, extending beyond cognitive shifts to reshape one’s being across professional, personal, and spiritual domains.
BaroneT.EisnerE. W. (2012). Arts-based research. Sage Publications.
2.
BhattaraiA. P.BohonosJ. W.NomelandJ. R. (2026). ‘Mansplaining’ - reflections on teaching adults in university classrooms. Advances in Developing Human Resources, 28(1), 8–35. https://doi.org/10.1177/15234223251382408
3.
BhattaraiA. P. (in press). From theory to performance: Engaging with Foucault through arts-based research. Art/Research International: A Transdisciplinary Journal.
4.
BiasinC. (2014). Transformative learning from a European perspective. In TaylorE. W.CrantonP. (Eds.), The handbook of transformative learning: Theory, research, and practice (pp. 161–175). Jossey-Bass.
BriciuB. (2024). Emotions and meaning in transformative learning: Theory U as a liminal experience. Journal of Transformative Education, 23(2), 202–218. https://doi.org/10.1177/15413446241246236
7.
ChristieM.CareyM.RobertsonA.GraingerP. (2015). Putting transformative learning theory into practice. Australian Journal of Adult Learning, 55(1), 9–30.
8.
CrantonP. (2016). Understanding and promoting transformative learning: A guide to theory and practice (3rd ed.). Stylus.
9.
DamianakisT.BarrettB.Archer-KuhnB.SamsonP.MatinS.AhernC. (2019). Teaching for transformation: Master of social work students identify teaching approaches that made a difference. Journal of Transformative Education, 23(2), 219–240. https://doi.org/10.1177/1541344619865948
10.
DirkxJ. M. (2006). Engaging emotions in adult learning: A Jungian perspective on emotion and transformative learning. New Directions for Adult and Continuing Education, 2006(109), 15–26. https://doi.org/10.1002/ace.204
11.
EllisC. (2004). The ethnographic I: A methodological novel about autoethnography. AltaMira Press.
12.
EnsignT. (2019). The seed of transformation: A disorientation index. Pepperdine University.
13.
GreenL. (2023). No ground: Disorientation as prerequisite for transformation. Journal of Transformative Education, 21(2), 190–206. https://doi.org/10.1177/15413446221105577
14.
GreenL. (2024). Pre-personal consciousness and the pre-reflective self. Journal of Transformative Education, 22(1), 84–87. https://doi.org/10.1177/15413446231210668
15.
HogganC. (2016). Transformative learning as a metatheory: Definition, criteria, and typology. Adult Education Quarterly, 66(1), 57–75. https://doi.org/10.1177/0741713615611216
16.
HogganC. (2023). The 7 cardinal sins of transformative learning scholarship. Journal of Transformative Education, 21(4), 447–453. https://doi.org/10.1177/15413446231196265
17.
HogganC.HigginsK. (2023). Understanding transformative learning through metatheory. New Directions for Adult and Continuing Education, 2023(177), 13–23. https://doi.org/10.1002/ace.20475
18.
HogganC.Hoggan-KloubertT. (2022). Critiques and evolutions of transformative learning theory. International Journal of Lifelong Education, 41(6), 666–673. https://doi.org/10.1080/02601370.2022.2164434
19.
HogganC.MälkkiK.FinneganF. (2017). Developing the theory of perspective transformation: Continuity, intersubjectivity, and emancipatory praxis. Adult Education Quarterly, 67(1), 48–64. https://doi.org/10.1177/07417136166740
KeganR. (2000). What “form” transforms? A constructive‐developmental approach to transformative learning. In MezirowJ.Associates (Eds.), Learning as transformation: Critical perspectives on a theory in progress (pp. 35–69). Jossey-Bass.
22.
KnowlesM. S.HoltonE. F.III.SwansonR. A.RobinsonP. A. (2020). The adult learner: The definitive classic in adult education and human resource development (9th ed.). Routledge.
23.
LearJ. (2006). Radical hope: Ethics in the face of cultural devastation. Harvard University Press.
24.
LeavyP. (Ed.). (2017). Handbook of arts-based research. Guilford Publications.
25.
LiB. (2025). Poetic vulnerability: A meta-autoethnography on arts-based collaborative autoethnography. New Horizons in Adult Education and Human Resource Development (Online First), 37(4), 249–261. https://doi.org/10.1177/19394225251339027
26.
LiB.BhattaraiA. (2025). Reimagining scholarly impact through transformative learning: An arts-based collaborative autoethnography. Journal of Transformative Education, 23(1), 79–97. https://doi.org/10.1177/15413446241263762
27.
LuitelB. C. (2009). Culture, worldview and transformative philosophy of mathematics education in Nepal: A cultural-philosophical inquiry. [Unpublished doctoral dissertation, Curtin University of Technology].
28.
MadsenW. (2019). Transforming personal narratives: An evaluation of a songwriting workshop for rural women. Journal of Transformative Education, 23(2), 186–201. https://doi.org/10.1177/1541344619866547
29.
McClainA. L. (2024a). Embracing a perspective with the dark side: Using second wave positive psychology to navigate emotions throughout transformative learning. Journal of Transformative Education, 22(3), 304–323. https://doi.org/10.1177/15413446241234231
30.
McClainA. L. (2024b). New developments in transformative learning. New Directions for Adult and Continuing Education, 2024(184), 20–29. https://doi.org/10.1002/ace.20540
31.
MezirowJ. (1991). Transformative dimensions of adult learning. Jossey-Bass.
32.
MezirowJ. (2000). Learning as transformation: Critical perspectives on a theory in progress. Jossey-Bass.
33.
MorriceL. (2012). Learning and refugees: Recognising the darker side of transformative learning. Adult Education Quarterly, 62(3), 251–271. https://doi.org/10.1177/0741713612465467
34.
PerryS. A. (2021). Participatory feeling: Re-visioning transformative learning theory through Heron’s whole person perspective. Adult Education Quarterly, 71(4), 338–355. https://doi.org/10.1177/07417136211016
35.
RichardsonL.St PierreE. A. (2005). Writing: A method of inquiry. In DenzinN. K.LincolnY. S. (Eds.), The Sage handbook of qualitative research (3rd ed., pp. 959–978). Sage Publications.
36.
ShedletskyL. J. (2025). Pedagogy of dialogic communication: Becoming aware of our unconscious beliefs. International Journal of Transformative Teaching and Learning in Higher Education, 1(2), 3. https://commons.library.stonybrook.edu/ijttl/vol1/iss2/3.
37.
TaylorE. W. (2007). An update of transformative learning theory: A critical review of the empirical research (1999–2005). International Journal of Lifelong Education, 26(2), 173–191. https://doi.org/10.1080/02601370701219475
38.
TaylorE. W.CrantonP. (Eds.). (2013). A handbook of transformative learning: Theory, research, and practice. Jossey-Bass.
