Abstract
Emily Walton on neighborhood norms and whose business is our business.
“We don’t need to be friends. It’s just: you live there… you’re happy, I’m happy. You don’t bother me, I don’t bother you.” Shane, a White homeowner, defines a “good neighbor” as one who maintains a respectful distance. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Gloria, a Puerto Rican public housing resident, says good neighbors are like family: “We all know each other and we all help each other. If someone over here screams, I call the ambulance. It’s a community and everybody is connected.” These contrasting attitudes reflect broader race and class patterns I have observed in my research on multiethnic neighborhoods. Residents’ narratives coalesce around two principles: good neighbors are those who mind their own business or good neighbors are those who mind others’ business.
In two Boston neighborhoods where residents have come into daily contact with race and class differences for over 25 years, some, like Shane, wanted neighbors to mind their own business, respecting others’ needs for space and privacy. Others, like Gloria, wanted their neighbors to mind everyone’s business, interacting and investing in connection.
Since the rules for being a good neighbor are not hard and fast, people fall back on folkways—unspoken, yet shared, norms of conduct—to understand the expectations in their own neighborhoods. However, our nation’s complicated history of residential segregation by race and class means that White, middle-class definitions may be very different from those among low income and racial and ethnic minority individuals.
When survey researchers measure neighboring, their scales hinge on items related to social support, such as the ability to borrow items from neighbors, and social cohesion, which develops from trusting, reciprocal relationships. These valued features of neighboring are bound up in sentimental notions about life on the American Frontier, where mutual assistance was a matter of survival among pioneers, and in 1950s Suburbia, wherein socializing over the white picket fence was part and parcel of a government-backed mortgage. Dramatic demographic changes brought about by immigration and civil rights reforms in the 1960s coincided with a trend of slowly diminishing residential segregation, so that today more and more communities are reckoning with their ability to include all residents in a just and equitable way.
In order to gain this “on the ground” perspective on neighboring in multiethnic neighborhoods, I spent two years interviewing a diverse array of individuals from two unusual places in Boston, neighborhoods where residents have come into daily contact with race and class differences for over 25 years. Some residents, like Shane, wanted neighbors to mind their own business, respecting others’ needs for space and privacy. Others, like Gloria, wanted their neighbors to mind everyone’s business, interacting and investing in connection.
Mind Your Business
For many residents—overwhelmingly the wealthier, White individuals—a good neighbor respects order. These residents prefer neighbors who follow the “rules” and keep to themselves. Mike, a White homeowner, talks about how living so close to his neighbors heightens his desire for order, “It’s a congested neighborhood. They need to respect the privacy and the rules. I mean, no loud noise before or after certain hours. Be respectful in terms of trash removal, or if your pets are noisy or doing what they shouldn’t.”
Jess, a White condo owner, probably fits Mike’s definition of a good neighbor: “I don’t know how people would have an issue with me. I just come and go. I’m quiet. I don’t think I’ve done anything that could piss anyone off.” Jess says she’s “practically invisible” in the neighborhood and, in her eyes, this makes her a good neighbor.
For other residents—typically low-income people of color—respect means not overreacting to others’ lifestyles. For them, good neighbors are those who communicate directly about any issues that arise, rather than gossiping or notifying authorities about the wrongdoing. Jennifer, a Chinese public housing resident, explains that though she is bothered by her upstairs and downstairs neighbors’ noise, she would never think of calling the police or property manager; “If they start fighting there’s no way we will be able to sleep that night. But, as long as everyone is communicating well, it doesn’t really matter. Mostly we find that as long as we’re not bothering anyone else, no one will bother us.”
Courtesy Emily Walton
Similarly, Cruz, a Puerto Rican public housing resident, is bothered if neighbors don’t resolve things directly, instead talking behind his back: “Lot of gossip…lot of gossip. You gotta watch out where you live. There’s some people that are too sensitive. They don’t like the noise and they’re too sensitive about everything.” Unlike the other neighbors’ goal of order, Cruz does not want to be held to other people’s standards and finds his neighbors respectful when they aren’t bothered by his lifestyle.
Though these definitions of respect differ along race and class lines, they share a common tenet: “live and let live”. For the individuals who want their neighbors to mind their own business, it is possible to live side by side without interacting at all.
Mind Our Business
A respectful neighbor who doesn’t interact isn’t acceptable to a second broad segment of residents, who define a good neighbor as actively seeking interaction and investment in the life of the community.
For some of these residents—mainly people of color from all class backgrounds—a good neighbor is, at a minimum, friendly. A nod and a hello upon meeting a neighbor shows that they are recognized and acknowledges a common humanity. Patricia, an African-American public housing resident, talks about feeling excluded when she is not acknowledged, “Everybody has their little cliques. Every day you drop your child off, but half the time they don’t want to say hi or good morning or anything. So, to me, [being a good neighbor is] being approachable, just saying hello.”
Lydia, a Cape Verdean and Native American homeowner, reveals how even mundane interaction can reinforce a sense of equality, “We meet folks every day and we keep moving. You learn to ignore, walk straight ahead. Don’t be so tight. It’s good to speak to your neighbors because [you show] you don’t look down on them.” Communicating a sense of equality in our routine contacts with neighbors may be especially important in multiethnic settings, where residents negotiate their status differences in everyday interactions on the street or in local institutions.
Among those who want neighbors to mind “our” business, there are some—particularly low-income and immigrant residents—who aspire to go beyond a minimal level of civility to nurture relationships akin to family ties. For these residents, the ability to trust and depend on neighbors is not a luxury, but a necessity. Carlota, a Dominican public housing resident, says she appreciates knowing she can call on her neighbors in an emergency, “I have family in Pennsylvania, in New Jersey, in New York, in Jamaica Plain. But who are the closest to me? My neighbors. If anything happens to me, I call my neighbors. So I believe that the closest family one can have are your neighbors.”
Ming, a Chinese public housing resident, agreed: “Like now, one of my neighbors has cancer. We help [his family], we bring them food. I help them and they help me. That’s just the way things are here. It can be hard sometimes because we don’t really speak the same language, but it’s the same attitude we have for each other. This neighborhood is like a large family.” Upholding a norm of mutual obligation among neighbors means that low-income and immigrant residents are able to feel a sense of being at home in multiethnic spaces.
Though often mundane, our interactions with neighbors are not trivial. My research demonstrates that if our goal for multiethnic spaces is integration, we need to reconcile folk definitions of a good neighbor with the realities of intimate encounters with racial and class diversity. In the two stably multiethnic neighborhoods I studied, I saw that wealthier, White residents overwhelmingly preferred their neighbors to maintain their distance and abide by the rules—rules they themselves set and enforce. While there are low-income residents of color who also prefer to keep a respectful distance, their own lifestyles often break the rules. For them, demonstrating respect means not being bothered. Then again, there is another group of residents who are not content to let their neighbors mind their own business. Overwhelmingly, low-income, immigrant, and racial or ethnic minority residents want their neighbors to be friendly and nurture strong relationships. The neighborhoods I studied have been multiethnic for more than two decades, but residents maintain conflicting definitions of good neighbors that align with long-standing racial and class divisions. Their incompatible expectations may explain why, at the neighborhood level, desegregation is not yet a synonym for integration.