Building and expanding on contemporary research where desistance is increasingly conceived of as a fragile and liminal experience, this paper examines the early desistance process through the lens of ambivalence – an undertheorised concept in life course criminology. This paper employs qualitative interviews from a total of 10 participants who participated in SIG, a voluntary defector programme in Sweden. Despite having formulated a clear resolve to desist, the participants nonetheless experienced feelings of ambivalence in relation to the desistance process. In these instances, the aspiring desisters were bordering between the prospects of a better, crime-free life and the pains, losses, struggles and frustrations accompanying the early stages of desistance. It is argued that this liminal position, where the old life is to be discarded and a new, better life is yet to be built, may constitute a breeding ground for ambivalence – a state which needs to be grounded in the precarious social position of marginalised youth which aspiring desisters typically occupy.
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