“I have to be both mother and father”: The impact of Young-onset dementia on the partner’s parenting and the children’s experience

Abstract

There has been increasing research on the experience and needs of caregivers for persons with YOD, who are mainly spouses. Yet one little-explored area is their evolving parental role. As the person with YOD becomes less able to parent, the partner must take on more and more parental responsibilities. This occurs in much-changed familial context, with children often asked to assume caretaking roles and experiencing strong feelings such as grief, anger, and fear. How do the parents without YOD understand and negotiate their ever-changing parenting role, and how do their children experience it? We conducted in-depth, semi-structured interviews with four parents without YOD (coincidentally all mothers) and eight children ages 16–20 (3–18 when parent was diagnosed) regarding the changing nature of the parental-child relationship. These data were analyzed using thematic narrative analysis, in which respondents' material is closely read as it is gathered and analyzed for patterns. Three primary themes emerged. First, there are significant changes in family structures and role. Mothers increasingly assume all parental responsability. Children assume roles of carers and earners, and at times reluctant decision-making partners. Such responsabilities can feel overwhelming at times. However, the cildren discribed not wanting to burden mother with their feelings and experience, a second prominent theme. Finally, such muting of their experience likely contributes to mothers feeling they are managing the YOD so as to minimize the impact on their children, creating divergent experiences of the YOD on family life. Facilitating family members' articulation of what feel like “inadmissible” feelings, improving familial communication, and developing a range of support and resources are all important areas for intervention.