A sexual superpower or a shame? Women’s diverging experiences of squirting/female ejaculation in Sweden

Abstract

Squirting, or female ejaculation, is the expulsion of fluid during sexual stimulation. The limited scientific literature has focused primarily on clarifying what this fluid contains, while women’s own voices on the experience have received scant attention. This study explores 28 women’s experiences and applies a thematic analysis. The sensation of squirting is individual and sometimes conflicting. Descriptions range from considering it amazing, a superpower and feminist statement to an unpleasant and/or shameful event. Across the board, there is a wish for nuanced information and for the current taboo and mystification surrounding the subject to be broken.

Background

Squirting, or female ejaculation, is the expulsion of an amount of fluid during sexual arousal. It is an aspect of female sexuality that has been acknowledged, forgotten, re-discovered, and questioned throughout history (Korda et al., 2010). The phenomenon is still debated, often with anecdotal evidence, and what scientific literature exists is limited. The prevalence of squirting remains unknown as no large-scale scientific study has been carried out. During the last hundred years, scientific focus has primarily been on understanding the makeup of the fluid. The studies, of varying quality and mostly with few participants, have drawn different conclusions: claiming it is a female prostatic fluid, diluted urine, or a fluid identical to urine (Addiego et al., 1981; Filippi et al., 2009; Pastor, 2013; Rubio-Casillas and Jannini, 2011; Salama et al., 2015; Sevely and Bennett, 1978; Wimpissinger et al., 2007). Recently, this has led to attempts to distinguish female ejaculation and squirting as two distinct events with differing content (Pastor, 2013; Pastor and Chmel, 2017; Rubio-Casillas and Jannini, 2011). Squirting is explained as consisting of a larger amount of water-like fluid (15–110 mL) similar, or identical, to urine, expelled from the urethra (Pastor and Chmel, 2017; Salama et al., 2015). Female ejaculation is explained as being a smaller amount, only a few milliliters, of thicker “milky-like” fluid originating from the prostatic glands surrounding the urethra (Pastor and Chmel, 2017). This relatively recent classification of the phenomena makes it hard to interpret earlier studies where the terms female ejaculation and squirting are used synonymously but may instead refer to what is now categorized as squirting.

While female ejaculation seems to have attained higher status with its association with male ejaculation and has even been called “the real ejaculation” (Rubio-Casillas and Jannini, 2011), squirting has recently been questioned to a greater degree (Pastor and Chmel, 2017; Salama et al., 2015). Salama et al. (2015) tested seven women’s expelled fluid and concluded that squirting is an “involuntary expulsion of urine during sexual activity” despite the presence of chemical markers of prostate-specific antigen, the same as can be found in male ejaculation, being found in the samples. The study generated headlines such as “Squirting is Just Pee, Say Scientists” (Conti, 2015). This in turn led to reactions from women sharing their own experiences of squirting on social media, using hashtags such as #NotPee, in response to what was interpreted as shaming of a natural aspect of female sexuality (Barker, 2015).

Despite the public debate, women’s own voices on the experience of female ejaculation/squirting have received limited attention in the scientific literature. Darling et al. (1990) found in their questionnaire-based study with 1230 women working in health-related fields in the United States and Canada that 40% reported experiences of ejaculation. The study focused primarily on aspects associated with ejaculation and found that women who ejaculate were more likely to be multi-orgasmic, yet also to have held back orgasm due to the fear of urinating, compared to the non-ejaculators. In an international survey with 320 women (nearly all from the Global North) who had experiences of squirting/female ejaculation, 80% of all participants considered this event to be an “enrichment of their sexual lives.” The rest were either indifferent (10%) or wished they would rather not ejaculate (10%) (Wimpissinger et al., 2013). In Gilliland’s (2009) questionnaire-based study with 13 women from USA, the findings presented feelings of humiliation and shame, as well as exploration and wonder. It was evident that the women wanted more knowledge about the subject and had actively sought information to learn more about squirting. Coming across stories from other women with the same experience was important to them in accepting being an “ejaculator.” The aspect of not knowing what it was that had happened when they ejaculated caused confusion to the women (Gilliland, 2009). Being aware of the phenomenon can play a role in how it is experienced, and Darling et al. (1990) found that the earlier the woman was aware of its existence, the greater the likelihood of experiencing an ejaculation. A few qualitative studies focusing on other aspects of female sexuality include citations about female ejaculation/squirting. These findings indicate sensations of shame (Fahs, 2017), wondering about what the fluid contains (Shtarkshall and Feldman, 2008) or referring it to “coming like a guy” and valuing it more highly than an orgasm without an ejaculation (Potts, 2000).

There is an interesting paradox in the way squirting/female ejaculation is represented and (de)valued in various contexts. In studies from Rwanda and Ghana, squirting plays a central role in female pleasure and the sexual script (Fiaveh et al., 2015; Larsen, 2010). In studies from the Global North focusing on experiences of orgasm and sexual pleasure, female ejaculation/squirting has received scant attention and is rather accounted as a non-signifier (Frith, 2015). At the same time, however, squirting is seen in porn as “evidence” of female orgasm (Paasonen, 2006; Ryberg, 2008) and used in erotic short stories to arouse sexual excitement (Johnsdotter, 2011). Meanwhile, the portrayal of squirting/female ejaculation was banned 2014 from occurring in porn in the United Kingdom, due to equating the ejaculation with urine (Burnett, 2014; Hooton, 2014). In Sweden, there are no existing studies on women’s experiences of squirting/female ejaculation, nor on cultural understanding of the subject.

Against this varied background, this study aimed at exploring women’s experiences of female ejaculation/squirting in a Swedish context. The study will help address the dearth of research on the subject by bringing forth women’s voices on their self-lived experiences.

Method

This study is based on qualitative data from interviews with 28 women who all had personal experiences of the expulsion of fluids during sexual stimulation. Recruitment was done by calling for voluntary participants through existing networks, through a Swedish podcast about sexualities, at a scientific conference on sexuality and through information in a questionnaire-based study. Women with their own experience of squirting/female ejaculation and who were willing to participate in the study were encouraged to contact the researcher by email. The researcher replied with detailed information about the study, including a definition of squirting, to confirm that the potential participant had the sought-after experience. All participants were informed both verbally and in writing about the purpose of the study and the procedures. Informed consent was given in writing or verbally. All participants consented to have their interviews audio recorded. All interviews were performed by the author either face-to-face, in a place where privacy could be guaranteed, or by phone which enable women in other parts of Sweden to be interviewed. The interviews lasted between 45 and 75 min and were recorded and transcribed in Swedish. The selected quotations have subsequently been translated into English. The study has been approved by the Swedish Ethical Review Authority (ref. no. 2019-01640).

The study used an inductive approach. Participants were interviewed using a semi-structured interview guide with open-ended questions. The interview guide was piloted prior to the initiation of data collection. This guide was restructured alongside the process of data collection if new aspects relevant to the research question emerged. The guide covered the thematic analysis of experiences and attitudes toward female ejaculation/squirting, reactions from others, general aspects of sexuality, and sexual pleasure and practices. A “member check” was done to validate the findings and new interviews were conducted until topical saturation was met (Guba and Lincoln, 1989).

The data was analyzed using thematic analysis (Braun and Clarke, 2006). First, the transcribed recordings, as well as additional notes that were taken during the interview, were read through and preliminary codes were defined. All material was then entered into the software package AtlasTi to facilitate the coding process. The transcripts were then coded, and the coded sections were re-read to identify patterns of similarities and differences. The codes focused on women’s experiences of squirting to identify the variety of experiences, for example, “pleasurable,” “surprised,” “embarrassed.” When all the transcripts had been coded, and the codes overviewed, preliminary themes were selected to capture the variety of expressed experiences. The coded sections of the data were revisited again, as well as notes being taken. Finally, main themes and sub-themes were identified to present the variety of narratives in the data.

To conceptualize and discuss the findings, the scripting theory of Simon and Gagnon was used (Gagnon and Simon, 1975; Simon and Gagnon, 1986). Simon and Gagnon’s sexual script provided a conceptual understanding of interaction and meaning making of sexual behavior. The script is layered in three interconnected levels: cultural, interpersonal, and intrapsychic. In brief, the cultural script informs us about the social norms on how to behave, which is translated into the interpersonal script when people interact with each other. The intrapsychic script is a negotiation with inner, sexual desire, informed by the cultural and interpersonal scripts. The script can change and be renegotiated through life (Gagnon and Simon, 1975; Simon and Gagnon, 1986).

Results

The women’s experiences of squirting displayed a complex, and sometimes conflicting, relationship to the phenomenon. Experiences ranged from feelings of sexual empowerment to feelings of shame, which will be presented under three themes in the text below. All women reported expulsion of fluid similar to what is defined as squirting, and a few also reported expulsion of a smaller amount similar to what is defined as female ejaculation. Only one woman explained these as two separate sensations, while for the others, it was hard to define any difference. Therefore, squirting will be the word used henceforth.

The women were between 23 and 69 years old and were either single, dating, or in a relationship, either a monogamous or a consensual non-monogamous relationship (meaning a relationship allowing for more than one sexual and/or intimate partner). All had experiences of sex with men, and seven also had experiences of sex with women. For some, squirting was a recent discovery and an experience that had happened only a few weeks prior to being interviewed, while for others, it was not a new phenomenon. For some, squirting had been actively sought, either through curiosity or as part of an active exploration of their sexuality. For a few, squirting was something that had started to happen later in life and was described as connected either to new sensations in the vagina after giving birth or as the result of being more relaxed and open-minded about sex. Squirting was something that happened on a regular basis or had only happened a few times, and whether they felt they could control it varied. For several women, it was the first time they had ever talked about squirting with someone other than their intimate partner.

The type of stimulation used to squirt differed, from stimulation inside the vagina, to the clitoris, or other parts of the vulva or body. The women sensed that the fluid was expelled either from the vagina, from glands near the urethra or from the urethra/bladder. While some strongly felt a need to urinate prior to the expulsion of fluid, others were taken by surprise by the expulsion of fluid. The themes below present the spectrum of experiences. For a few women, it was mainly either a positive or negative experience, but most women had a conflicting relationship with squirting.

Amazement, pride, and a feeling of assessing a sexual superpower

Amazement, feeling proud, and sensing a possession of superpower were recurring words used when referring to the experience of squirting on one spectrum of the themes. This experience was reported both by those who had squirted after attempting to achieve it and by those whose squirting took them by surprise. Multiple women reported that they were going through, or had recently been through, something they called a “sexual awakening” or a “sexual exploration.” These women had all ended long-term heterosexual relationships where sex had been routine or non-existent in the final period of the relationship. For an awakening of their sexuality, they had actively made changes to their lives. For these women, squirting was part of the process of their sexual discovery. Some had actively aimed for it by reading Deborah Sundahl’s book: “Female Ejaculation and the G-spot,” participating in workshops or tantric events to learn how to squirt, or by meeting people who were focused on giving them this experience. Interestingly, once it started to happen, some of the women realized that it had happened to them before as well, without them having paid much attention to it or understanding what had happened at the time. These women recalled that there had been previous occasions when sexual stimulation had led to an expulsion of fluid.

A common aspect in the narratives was amazement at the ability of the body. One respondent explained, with excitement, how amazed she was when, in her fifties, she had experienced it the first time. She asked herself: “what more capabilities are there that I have yet not explored?” (Respondent 3, age 55). Many shared an amazedness that it had suddenly happened “after all these years” and that once it had started to happen, it happened again and again, as if the body had “cracked the code,” or like one respondent put it: “It feels like I have re-discovered my body. And now I know what to do, and then I squirt. To my partner’s amusement.” (Respondent 8, age 64)

As in the quotation above, squirting was experienced by many as something that gained a positive reaction from a partner, which also created feelings of pride. Squirting was connected to a sensation of being “one of the few” with this ability, as it was thought to be a rare thing to happen. One woman explained how squirting “has felt like something mysterious, as though it happens to one among thousands, and you should be really happy if it happens.” This had created the sensation of squirting being something extraordinary, like a golden standard, or connected to “a new level of sexuality.” The same woman continued:

“Before, when I heard from a friend that she was capable of squirting I thought ‘wow, she’s playing at a whole other level’. And now, when I have managed to squirt, my partner said that we need to start protecting the sheets, as a joke. And I thought ‘wow, am I in that club now?’ (laughing). This has affected me, I am thinking it is something to achieve, and although you should not put a value on these things, I still do”

Respondent 26, age 37

The aspect of it being seen as a rare thing raised questions about how common squirting is. Several of the women asked for information about this during the interviews.

Squirting was referred to by some as a new level of orgasmic sensation, described as something extraordinary. For example, Respondent 24 (age 43) said “it’s an incredibly powerful orgasmic feeling, a new feeling, a new type of orgasmic feeling.” It was also referred to as giving a sensation of relaxation or release in a different way than other types of orgasm, for example:

“It gives deeper satisfaction; a kind of release is how I would describe it. It makes me satisfied; I feel like completely satisfied. I can still continue to have sex, it’s not as if my level of arousal is lowered, but I feel, I feel fully satisfied. It feels like something empties, like a tension that lets go.”

Respondent 18, age 46

This feeling of release was referred to as not being acquired on the same level with a clitoral orgasm, and clitoral orgasm was often used for comparison in the narratives. One respondent said: “with clitoral orgasms, they kind of kick you on the head and you can see the stars and then, soon after, I want more. But this one feels more like, I don’t know, it’s hard to explain but I felt another level of satisfaction” (Respondent 25, age 48).

For others, it was not necessarily associated with a stronger sense of pleasure or orgasm. Despite this, these women expressed amazement about the skill, and one woman who had actively tried to achieve it said: “It’s amazing to be able to expel that amount of fluid, and it’s, it feels like something mighty, feminine. I think the female sex is exciting and it’s amazing what it’s capable of, it’s wonderful” (Respondent 9, age 44). The wording “sexual superpower” was used by a few to describe their relation to squirting, and it was not just associated with a sensation of pleasure, but also a statement:

“I am fascinated about it and I think it feels like such an amazing power and a feminist statement, almost like throwing it back in their face, you might say, after all these years of oppression of women’s sexuality. To me, it felt like an elemental force. I think it is so beautiful somehow, and extremely powerful.”

Respondent 26, age 37

Feelings of indifference or disconnection from an orgasmic feeling

In contrast to the lyrical descriptions of squirting, there were narratives of disappointment about the event or simply a feeling of indifference. The aspect of it being disconnected from an orgasmic feeling was something raised in the narratives, as was the expulsion of fluid that just happened. This was perceived, by some, as more annoying than pleasant. Some women explained that the sensation of pleasure was something that grew after time, but particularly the first few times it happened, several explained that they had not even noticed anything happening. One respondent said:

“I didn’t even realize that it happened when it did. It was afterwards that we realized: ‘gosh, how wet it got’ and, how the mattress was soaked through. It’s crazy how much fluid there actually is. And afterwards, I really had these thoughts: ‘What was that? Did I squirt? Well it must have been that.’ But, I mean, I hadn’t even realized that it happened. Since then it has happened again, so now I know that’s what happened. But it really took me by surprise, that first time”

Respondent 13, age 24

Similar narratives repeated how they had expected to feel more than they did. The discrepancy between their expectations and their lived experience caused many to question whether it was a “real” squirting they had experienced. Reasoning such as “I’m quite sure” and “the bed sheets at least were wetter than normal” were common in some of the women’s narratives when making sense of their first-time experiences of squirting.

A recurring word in the narratives was that squirting was “overrated.” These women pointed out that squirting was advertised as a “magnificent” and “amazing” thing in the media, on websites, and in discussions on social media. This had created unrealistic expectations for them when it in reality was nothing more than an expulsion of fluid. One respondent said: “I had the impression that ‘the best orgasm is when you squirt’ and then, when I got one myself, it didn’t feel that way. There is no nuanced picture of it, out there, when you google it for example” (Respondent 10, age 26). And for another, it was simply not as good as other types of orgasm, she contemplated: “for me, it has never been something like ‘wow’. It has, or I have tried to think, yes, but it is a nice feeling. But it is nowhere near a clitoral orgasm in any way.”—Respondent 15, age 49.

For some women, squirting was associated with conflicting sensations of pleasure and discomfort. The women also reported that the sensation differed greatly, depending on the circumstances and their own mindset or level of excitement. One woman (Respondent 4, age 45) described how it felt different depending on if she orgasmed at the same time as the ejaculation or not, as this could differ. She described how it could be technically possible for her to squirt, without feeling much excitement, but that the ejaculation at those times had felt like an uncomfortable “burning sensation.” To be able to have a sensation of orgasm, yet also squirt, some pointed out that it required the body, and particularly the mind, to be aroused, and for others it required stimulation of both the clitoris and the vagina. There were also some who had tried for a long time to achieve squirting and then, when it happened, were disappointed. One woman said:

“We were trying out a technique we had heard about and suddenly he said: ‘that was it’ and I was like ‘What do you mean?’ I hadn’t even noticed anything happening, and it wasn’t even that pleasurable, it only got wet. I was like, what’s the purpose of this? and I realized that for this type of orgasm I need to experience it more times in order to build up a sensitivity towards it”

Respondent 1, age 53

Among the women with these experiences, some wondered whether the word in itself is misleading. In Swedish, the phenomenon is commonly referred to as “fontänorgasm” or “sprutorgasm,” which could be translated as “fountain orgasm” or “squirt orgasm.” The word thus implies that it equates to orgasm. This was pointed out as raising false expectations. One of the women said:

“It’s just totally misleading that it’s called ‘fountain orgasm’. Firstly, you think it will be a massive rush of water, and secondly, that it will include an orgasm. For me it’s none of that. It just gets really wet, but it’s not like a fountain, it seeps out. I think that’s why I questioned, at the beginning, whether it was a real [squirt]. Maybe different wording would have been better, so that it does not have this magnificent connotation to it.”

Respondent 22, age 39

Sensations of discomfort or shame

Words of discomfort, embarrassment, and shame recurred when referring to the experience of squirting. To some, these feelings had been processed and overcome, and for others the feelings were still present. Discomfort was usually related to the sensation of the release of the fluid, or connected to the surprise at the amount of fluid expelled. The women expressed discomfort in being the one “wetting the bed,” or referred squirting to be “unpractical,” “squishy,” or as Respondent 11 (age 29) said: “Before, when I had sex often, like every day and it happened every time, and we had to change sheets every time, it was not fun. It turned into such a project.” Comments such as: “I wouldn’t mind the squirting but I do mind the amount of fluid” (Respondent 5, age 46) were also common.

One part of the discomfort with, or shame about, the expulsion of fluid seemed to be related to the aspect of not knowing about the actual phenomenon of squirting, or having other expectations of it, prior to the lived experience. Because they had not understood what happened, many had the experience of thinking they had peed themselves, which had led to awkward and embarrassing moments. One respondent, who had experienced it the first time when aged about 15, and now at 26 had experienced it again and realized what it was, contemplated:

“When it happened that first time, I didn’t understand what had happened. I actually thought that either I or he had peed. I didn’t dare to mention it. Now, when it happened again and I didn’t even really notice it, suddenly the sheets were just wet, I can look back on that event and understand that it was probably an ejaculation. But then, I didn’t even know there was such a thing and I remembered I felt so uncomfortable, and ashamed. I was afraid I had peed. I wish I could go back to that younger version of myself and say like: hey, you ejaculated, it’s completely normal.”

Respondent 10, age 26

The unawareness of squirting, or skewed information about it, was a strong theme in the narratives. Several respondents mentioned that they would just have liked to have had more information so that they could be more comfortable about what happened. When asked if they had received the information during sex education, most laughed and said that even the female orgasm, or female pleasure, had not been mentioned. The women who knew about it prior to experiencing it had mostly heard about it from friends, had read or heard about it on educational websites or forums on social media, or knew about it from watching porn. Not knowing about it, when it happened, made the partner’s reaction crucial. For some, the partner had made them feel comfortable by explaining what it was, and some recalled how the excitement of the partner had made them feel at ease with it as well. However, a few had the opposite experience of a partner reacting with disgust or not themselves knowing what had happened. There were experiences of being shamed for the squirting, either by explicit comments or silence. Such an experience had left a mark on their own relationship with squirting. One woman had ejaculated as a child when she was masturbating and her mother had caught her by surprise. Her mother had reacted furiously, and this experience of shame had caused long-term trauma to the subject. She was now, at the age of 37 and after working hard to overcome it, finally mostly comfortable with this aspect of her sexuality.

To navigate their partner’s reaction, the women had either told a new partner beforehand that they might squirt or, in other cases, tried to control it and not squirt before they were comfortable with a partner for fear of how the partner would react. A few pointed out that they did not squirt before they are fully comfortable with a partner, yet, for many squirting was out of their control and something that just happened. In the narratives, women’s different degree of comfort with their own sexuality and bodies seemed to impact how they navigated. One woman said, for example: “when I was younger, I remember it was sometimes disturbing, but now, it’s part of me, I have accepted it” (Respondent 2, age 69)

Many women experienced that squirting had connotations, and that in many circles, it was a taboo topic and something outside the norm. One respondent, who was comfortable with her ability to squirt and had various experiences from partners said: “With those I have been with who have thought that it has been annoying, or has caused some kind of discomfort, it has seemed to me that the squirting sometimes becomes too much, like they want this ‘adequate’ sex and squirting, it becomes a bit too much” (Respondent 6, age 34). There were respondents who had explored practices of tantra and BDSM. They recalled that on these occasions or at these workshops, squirting was a natural aspect of the repertoire, or even something actively aimed for. Others explained how squirting was not a subject talked about, even with friends who they otherwise talked about sex with. A couple of women explained how their friends had reacted by saying they thought squirting really was just a myth. One woman said that she believed that people who were interested in female pleasure associated squirting with something pleasant and natural, while others, according to her experience, seemed to associate it with something strange and thought that women who got it were seen as “hypersexual” (Respondent 13, age 24). Another woman said that, prior to her own experience, squirting had a “porn status,” and explained how she had felt uncomfortable at first when it happened due to this connection as squirting, for her, was associated with promiscuity (Respondent 27, age 32). Another woman explained that it seemed as though squirting was only connected with porn and not with reality. She had worked at a young women’s empowerment center and had suggested that they should include information about squirting and received negative reactions from her colleagues. As she explained: “They started questioning if it actually exists and if it was just something you see in porn. I didn’t really mention at that moment, sitting by that coffee table, that I had experienced it myself. But my colleagues were my age, I was surprised to hear them say things like that.” (Respondent 6, age 34). All these myths and connotations also led to frustration, and one woman said: “Why do we not talk about it more and how, how can it still be debated whether squirting actually exists or not?” (Respondent 7, age 40).

Uncertainty over what the fluid contains was expressed by virtually all the women, regardless of whether they had a positive or negative view of squirting. Almost all women had either smelled, or tasted, it to confirm that the expelled fluid was not urine and concluded it was different. For many, the sensation was that the expulsion happened from the vagina, which also convinced them the fluid was not connected to urine. Yet, some women tried to deal with the fact that it may contain urine, which made them take precautions such as always peeing prior to sex. For example, one woman who otherwise had a positive relationship with her ability to squirt explained: “I just always make sure I pee prior to sex, so that if it contains some amount of urine, I know that at least it hasn’t been in the bladder for long” (Respondent 16, age 60). For others, the expulsion of fluid was associated with a sensation of peeing, which made them associate it with a sensation of discomfort. For example, one woman said: “For me, when it happens it feels like I’m peeing myself. Although it does not look like urine, the sensation makes me dislike it” (Respondent 28, age 23). Some respondents asked for more knowledge about what the fluid contained, while others said they would rather not know.

Discussion

The aim of this study was to bring forth women’s own voices on their experiences of female ejaculation/squirting. When the theory of sexual script (Gagnon and Simon, 1975; Simon and Gagnon, 1986) was applied to the findings, the term “squirting scripts” was coined to capture the varying scripts on squirting, on the different levels, in this Swedish context. The personal experience of squirting was individual, ranging from an unpleasant to an amazing sensation, or both. This meaning making, and sensation, of squirting was negotiated and shaped by the inner sexual script (intrapsychic script), the reactions of others (interpersonal script), and the social knowledge and cultural meanings interpreted in it (the (sub-)cultural script).

On a cultural level, squirting was described as a phenomenon viewed as everything from desirable to questioned. The term sub-cultural squirting scripts is used to exemplify these differences. In some sub-cultural scripts, squirting was connected to pleasure and sexual fulfillment. This squirting script was presented in sub-cultures such as BDSM, tantra, or other circles focusing on sexual exploration and/or fulfillment. In other sub-cultural scripts, squirting seemed to have a self-evident role within the broader sexual script on female sexuality. Meanwhile, in other sub-cultural scripts, squirting was described as unknown or a myth, or seen as a norm that is excessive and connected to something “hypersexual.” Squirting was also connected to porn, which caused a complex array of connections, ranging from seeing it as norm excessive or simply resulting in becoming aware of the phenomenon, as also seen in other studies (Frank, 2014). The association with porn is multifaceted and worthy of further study. The sub-cultural scripts, as well as the interpersonal script, with the reaction (real or imagined) of others impacted how the women themselves negotiated their experience and how women navigated squirting during sex, and whether or not they told others about this aspect of their sexuality. This negotiation illustrates how women deal with the different “squirting scripts” and express how squirting, in this setting, does not have a self-evident role in the broader sexual script. This is in line with narratives about squirting from other cultural contexts (Fahs, 2017; Gilliland, 2009) but contrasts to how squirting is described in other contexts, as in Rwanda, where it is an expected part of sexual pleasure and seems to be a component in the sexual script (Bizimana, 2010; Larsen, 2010).

The descriptions of squirting as a sexual superpower or feminist statement are an interesting finding, illustrating how these women were actively trying to rewrite the cultural sexual script. While one respondent explicitly described squirting as a feminist statement, similar rhetoric was found in other women’s narratives. This related both to the squirting in itself but also to the exploration or (re-)discovery of the capability of the female body, yielding fascination and empowerment of the intrapsychic sexual script. The rhetoric also exemplifies how these women are reclaiming space for female sexuality that is regarded as suppressed, shamed, mystified, and taboo, with squirting being their tool—a visible act of agency. This is in line with how Bell used squirting as an active display already 30 years ago to prove the female body and sexual pleasure to be powerful and autonomous (Bell, 1991, 2002).

The visibility of squirting, with the expulsion of fluid, is the aspect which makes squirting a charged subject in the different scripts. On the one hand, as described above, it is an aspect that is valued as it is concrete. As female orgasm is often described as invisible (Frith, 2015), the visibility of squirting may also be a marker, providing status for it on cultural, interpersonal, and interpsychic levels. The visibility of squirting is also why it may be desirable within the interpersonal script, as it may be interpreted as receipt of pleasure. This contrasts it to the discourse of faking orgasm, particularly within the heterosexual script (Fahs, 2014; Lafrance et al., 2017). However, the expulsion of fluid may not be connected to an orgasmic sensation, as illustrated in this study’s findings, yet may be expected to be a magnificent experience and heightened type of orgasm. The discrepancy between this idea of squirting, and the actual self-lived experience caused clashes in the squirting script for some women, triggering reactions, and a negotiation on their intrapsychic script, on the spectrum of confusion, disappointment, or embarrassment. One aspect that may engender this idea of squirting on a (sub-)cultural level in this context is the wording for it in Swedish, “fontänorgasm” (= “fountain orgasm”) or “sprutorgasm” (= “squirt orgasm”), connoting that it equates to orgasm. As shown by the findings, squirting was not necessarily associated with a sensation of climax, in line with what is reported in other studies (Darling et al., 1990; Gilliland, 2009). It is possible that different wording, such as “squirting,” could have been beneficial in providing other expectations and neutralizing the squirting script in the Swedish context.

In contrast to valuing the visibility of squirting, there are also narratives describing discomfort, embarrassment, and shame connected to the expulsion of fluids. Participants recalled a combination of feelings such as loss of control, uncertainty over what had actually happened, discomfort about “wetting the bed,” and, in particular, concern about the content and amount of the fluid. In the respondent’s interpretations and making sense of the event, the information they possessed prior to it, and how others reacted, seemed to be significant. These findings reveal how their lived experiences (intrapsychic script) of squirting are negotiated with the (sub-)cultural sexual script on female sexual response and, in particular, fluids. Whether the fluid contains urine appears to be of a specific concern. Given the contextual controversies and connotations of female sexual fluids (Fahs, 2017), and urine discourse surrounding squirting (Pastor and Chmel, 2017; Salama et al., 2015), found both in the scientific literature and in the media, it is understandable that women are caught up in this and deal with this negative connotation. As also seen in previous studies, women are preoccupied with what the fluid contains (Darling et al., 1990; Gilliland, 2009). Bell (1991) has pointed out that the focus on the makeup of the fluid is part of the patriarchal suppression of female sexuality. Despite the fact many women firmly believed that the fluid was not urine, it is evident how women find strategies to deal with the possibility that it may be urine, for example, by emptying their bladder prior to sex, since urine was not regarded positively in the sexual script. Importantly, a prominent feature of the findings in this study is that caution about the makeup of the fluid may destroy women’s actual experience of squirting or turn this aspect of female sexual response into something shameful.

The findings also highlight a missing squirting script, as squirting had been unknown to some women before it happened to them. Therefore, once it happened, they had to make sense of the experience, in negotiation with the available interpersonal and (sub-)cultural scripts. For these women, the reaction of a partner made a substantial contribution to their own meaning-making of the experience. This contributed to the sensations of embarrassment and shame, similar to what was also described by Gilliland (2009). It is evident that these sensations could have been avoided on an intrapsychic level if squirting had had an evident role in the general sexual script of female sexual response and if the women had been equipped with nuanced information about the phenomenon. The shortage of, or skewed, information about squirting is evident in the narratives. This was something that Gilliland (2009) also pointed out in her study, as well as the fact that much of the information that is available on squirting/female ejaculation is often anecdotal and may underpin the myths that flourish on this subject. According to the women in this study, their sexual education had not included squirting or even sexual pleasure. This is not surprising as desire and pleasure have long been absent from the discourse about female sexuality, which contributes to young women being disconnected from their sexual agency (Allen, 2004; Frith, 2013). Whether squirting is included in curricula today is worthy of attention.

A prominent finding is the wish for increased information and to neutralize this aspect of female sexuality. A repeated belief among the Swedish participants was that squirting is a rare aspect of female sexual response. The aspect of no available studies being able to answer how common squirting is underpins the idea of it being a rare phenomenon. Interestingly, this perceived originality showed that women felt they possessed a rare skill and were “one of the few,” which also contributed to valuing the experience of squirting. This also helped give squirting high status and make it desirable in some scripts, as it was interpreted as norm-exceeding. However, available studies have produced estimates of prevalence in the range of 10–54% (Pastor, 2013), indicating that it may happen for one in two women, and thus not be that uncommon. A comprehensive study to understand the prevalence of squirting would be welcomed. Similarly, the belief that squirting is rare may contribute to the myths on the subject. As demonstrated, squirting is rarely included in the literature on female sexuality, pleasure, and orgasm. This highlights the ignorance around the aspect of female sexuality concerned. Increased scientific curiosity around the subject is warranted to confront myths surrounding this aspect of sexual response and put a squirting script in place.

Conclusions

Women’s experiences of squirting ranged from sensations of extraordinary pleasure and amazedness, with the expulsion of fluid being narrated as a visible, powerful, and feminist statement of sexual response, to squirting being considered an embarrassing and disturbing event with sensations of discomfort and feelings of shame. The women negotiated their experiences of squirting in relation to the “squirting scripts” in place. The visibility of squirting makes it understood as a powerful act, a reception of pleasure, but also an embarrassment. This embarrassment and feelings of shame are connected to the uncertainties of the makeup of the fluid, with the concerns of it containing urine causing strategies to deal with it. Importantly, for some the experience of squirting took them by surprise as they were unaware of it prior to the event. This highlights how squirting sometimes lacked a script, contributing to the challenges in interpreting the event as well as making other people’s reactions influence their feelings about it. There are taboos, mystification and skewed ideas about squirting/female ejaculation in the Swedish context, which could be amended through nuanced and more inclusive information about this aspect of female sexuality.