This article draws on personal accounts of women’s thoughts and feelings following mastectomy. The analysis of the material obtained in multiple, focused interviews has revealed two major themes in these accounts: on the one hand, the loss of bodily symmetry (one of the basic cultural criteria of physical beauty) was deeply felt; and on the other, peace of mind (a characteristic of psychological beauty) was permanently disturbed by the fear of the recurrence of cancer and the possibility of death. While the asymmetrical body is a potentially (socially) visible problem of presentation and representation, the fear of recurrence is a fear of the workings of the body that are not visible and not knowable. A woman who has had a breast removed will concern herself, usually in isolation, with her secret unpredictable interior. This fear will be her very own preoccupation, not only because in our society death and disease are deemed threatening and ugly – but also because the uncertainty of the health-status of a woman following mastectomy is socially (as well as medically) veiled by discourse which assumes that she is ‘well’. Though a woman may feel well, she fears that her body may not be well; yet her fear is necessarily silenced through both social denial and incongruity with experience. The article explores in some detail the nature of the stress that inevitably results in this ill-understood, complex situation.
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